Elon Musk’s Daughter Wants Him To Shut Up, Too

Vivian Jenna Wilson, daughter of Elon Musk, is letting him have it.

In a recent interview with NBC News, Wilson responds to her estranged father’s anti-trans rhetoric and claims that she and other trans youth were killed by the “woke mind virus” when coming out as trans and pursuing HRT. Through his social media platforms and in a recent livestream on the far-right platform The Daily Wire, Musk says he was “tricked” into co-signing documents with his ex-wife Justine Wilson, Vivian’s mother, that allowed Vivian to begin her medical transition when she was 16. Musk said that his daughter is “dead” and is “not a girl.”

Wilson, now 20, responded to these comments in her first interview. “I think he was under the assumption that I wasn’t going to say anything and I would just let this go unchallenged,” Wilson told NBC News. “Which I’m not going to do, because if you’re going to lie about me, like, blatantly to an audience of millions, I’m not just gonna let that slide.”

Unfortunately it is not unique for young trans people to be spoken about–even vilified–in the media for simply living their lives. What is unique is for a young trans person to have the opportunity to clap back through a large platform challenging the opposing transmisic party and their far reach, in this case, Elon Musk. So often we see transmisic online personalities spew their lies about trans life going unchallenged. Now we bear witness to Musk, one of richest men in the world and possibly one of the most notorious trans antagonists of the era, going up against his own daughter who he claims to love but has decided to publicly disparage to his millions of followers. For a young woman to go through this sort of open and overt cruelty by her father echoes the dire state of public discourse on trans lives. While memes of Musk’s embarrassing moments as a proud transphobe proliferate through both leftist and far right zeitgeists, at the end of the day, this is a man who refuses to accept his own daughter.

In the DailyWire+ livestream, Musk went on to say that he made a vow “to destroy the woke mind virus” after his daughter transitioned. “This was really before I had any understanding of what was going on, and we had COVID going on, so there was a lot of confusion,” Musk said. “I lost my son, essentially.”

Since acquiring Twitter in 2022 and renaming it “X,” Musk has launched an all-out hate campaign against the trans community through a series of transmisic tweets and a rollback of the platform’s protections for trans people, including a ban on using deadnames. “It’s called a deadname for a reason, because your son is dead,” Musk said.

Wilson clapped back saying, “He was not by any means tricked. He knew the full side effects.” Musk and his daughter have been estranged for many years. According to Wilson, he was only present for “10 percent” of her life despite having half-custody over her and her five siblings. After asking Musk for months to sign the documents, Musk requested an in-person meeting with the two of them. At the time, Wilson was 16 and by California state law was required to have written consent by both parents. Musk reviewed the documents twice over and then signed the documents.

On Twitter, Musk continued to deadname his daughter and said she was “born gay and slightly autistic.” He stated that when Wilson was four years old she picked out clothing for him calling her choices “fabulous!” and had a love of musicals and theatre. Wilson called bullshit on all of that. She took to Threads and said all of those claims are “entirely fake.”

“My best guess is that he went to the Milo Yiannopoulis school of gay stereotypes, just picked some at random and said ‘eh- good enough’ in a last-ditch attempt to garner sympathy points when he is so obviously in the wrong even in his own fucking story,” Wilson posted on Threads.

She said Musk did not know what she was like as a child because “he quite simply wasn’t there.” During the little time they did spend together, she was harassed for femininity and queerness. In her NBC News interview, Wilson said the pandemic was her chance to escape Musk’s cruelty.

“When Covid hit, I was like, ‘I’m not going over there,’” she said. “It was basically very lucky timing.”

In a recent tweet, Grimes, Musk’s ex-wife and Wilson’s former stepmother, showed support for Wilson saying, “I love and am forever endlessly proud of Vivian.”

Wilson ended her Threads post clapping back haters one last time. “As for if I’m not a woman… sure, Jan. Whatever you say. I’m legally recognized as a woman in the state of California, and I don’t concern myself with the opinions of those who are below me.”

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Eva Reign

Eva Reign is a Peabody and GLAAD Award winning Brooklyn-based actress, writer and artist from St. Louis, Missouri. She is the star of Billy Porter’s directorial debut Anything’s Possible from Amazon Studios and MGM’s Orion Pictures. Her writing has appeared in Vogue, Vice, Them, The Cut, Byrdie, PAPER, and Highsnobiety.

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All 150+ Gay Women and Trans Athletes Competing In the 2024 Paris Olympics

Three years ago, I woke up ahead of the alarm I’d set for an early morning basketball game — early for me, not so much for the athletes in Tokyo — and turned on my television while I made some coffee. Women’s Foil was on. I don’t know what Foil is — hell, I’m still not sure what Foil is — but it was on, I was up, and I had time before basketball started so I settled into watch.

I didn’t know what was happening on my screen. I didn’t know how fencers scored or what made the fencers’ helmets light up red or green. But the more I watched, the more I gleaned about the sport. The more I watched, the more invested I became. By the end, I was yelling at my television, cheering for competitors who were strangers minutes ago, like I’d been watching Foil my entire life.

For me, that’s part of the beauty of the Olympics: the chance to discover something new and to completely get swept up in it. The Olympics are a chance to discover athletes, who have been perfecting their craft in relative obscurity, and finally give get their moment to shine. Increasingly, those athletes getting that moment in the sun are queer. According to Outsports, there will be at least 155 LGBT athletes competing at the Paris Olympics….and so, of course, as is our wont, we’ve got to pass along the scoop on who all is gay here.

If you’re looking to fawn over these gorgeous athletes support these athletes in their competitions, simply click their names to access their Olympics.com profile. It should have the most up-to-date scheduling information.


Athletics/Track & Field

Michelle-Lee Ahye (Trinidad and Tobago)

Events: 100m and 4 x 100m Relay

Ana Carolina Azevedo (Brazil)

Events: 100m and 200m

Izabela da Silva (Brazil)

Event: Discus Throw

Nikki Hitlz (United States)

Event: 1500m

Sha’Carri Richardson (United States)

Events: 100m, 200m, and 4 x 100m Relay

Raven Saunders (United States)

Event: Shot Put

Senni Salminen (Finland)

Events: Triple Jump


Badminton

Kristy Gilmour (Great Britain)


Basketball

Read about the 17 gay Basketball players competing in the 2024 Paris Olympics in this post.


Beach Volleyball

Ana Patricia (Brazil)


Boxing

Hergie Bacyadan (Philippines)

Weight Class: 75kg

Beatriz “Bia” Ferreira (Brazil)

Weight Class: 60kg

Bia’s girlfriend, Ana Carolina Azevedo, will also be at the 2024 Paris Olympic Games, competing in the 100m and 200m.

Kellie Harrington (Ireland)

Weight Class: 60kg

Cindy Ngamba (IOC Refugee Team)

Weight Class: 75kg

Nesthy Petecio (Philippines)

Weight Class: 57kg

Chuthamat Raksat (Thailand)

Weight Class: 50kg

Irma Testa (Italy)

Weight Class: 57kg

Michaela Walsh (Ireland)

Weight Class: 57kg

Marissa Williamson Pohlman (Australia)

Weight Class: 66kg


Canoe Slalom

Evy Leibfarth (United States)

Events: Kayak Single, Canoe Single, and Kayak Cross


Cycling: BMX Freestyle

Perris Benegas (United States)

Natalya Diehm (Australia)

Hannah Roberts (United States)


Cycling: Road

Marianne Vos (Netherlands)

Event: Road Race


Cycling: Track

Lauriane Genest (Canada)

Events: Keirin, Sprint, Team Sprint


Equestrian

Cathrine Laudrup-Dufour (Denmark)

Events: Individual and Team

Catherine is married to Danish Show Jumper Rasmine Laudrup-Dufour, the son of former professional footballer Brian Laudrup.


Fencing

Lauren Scruggs (United States)

Events: Foil Individual and Foil Team


Football

Read about the 45+ women’s soccer players competing in the 2024 Olympics in this post.


Golf

Georgia Hall (Great Britain)

Event: Individual Stroke Play

Georgia Hall is dating fellow golfer Ryann O’Toole.

Alena Sharp (Canada)

Event: Individual Stroke Play


Handball

Barbara “Babi” Arenhart (Brazil)

Adriana Cardoso de Castro (Brazil)

Adriana is dating handball player Alba Menéndez.

Mariana Costa (Brazil)

Bruna de Paula (Brazil)

Bruna is engaged to Hungarian handball player Csenge Fodor.

Nathalie Hagman (Sweden)

Csenge Kuczora (Hungary)

Csenge Kuczora image courtesy of m4sport.hu


Hockey

Dirkie Chamberlain (South Africa)

Dirkie is dating former field hockey player and current occupational and social therapist Marieke Elizabeth de Haas.

Fiona Crackles (Great Britain)

Charlotte Englebert (Belgium)

Charlotte is dating fellow field hockey player Emma Puvrez.

Ashley Hoffman (United States)

Marleen Jochems (Netherlands)

Marleen is dating field hockey player Wendela van Dedem.

Sarah Jones (Great Britain)

Ines Lardeur (France)

Alice Lesgourgues (France)

Mathilde Petriaux (France)

Emma Puvrez (Belgium)

Emma is dating her aforementioned teammate Charlotte Englebert.

Abigail “Abi” Raye (Belgium)

Abi’s partner, Ireen van den Assem, is a Dutch field hockey player — she’s currently pregnant but will be in Paris cheering on her wife!

Anne Veenendaal (Netherlands)

Anne is dating Irish field hockey player Ayeisha McFerran.


Judo

Alice Bellandi (Italy)

Events: Mixed Team and 78kg

Amandine Buchard (France)

Events: Mixed Team and 52kg

Raz Hershko (Judo)

Events: Mixed Team and 78kg

Rafaela Silva (Brazil)

Events: Mixed Team and 57kg

Silva is married to Brazilian judoka Eleudis Valentim.

Guusje Steenhuis (Netherlands)

Events: Mixed Team and 78kg

Sanne van Dijke (Netherlands)

Events: Mixed Team and 70kg


Rowing

Nina Castagna (United States)

Event: Eight

Teal Cohen (United States)

Event: Quadruple Sculls

Alina Hagstrom (United States)

Event: Rowing (Alternate)

Grace Joyce (United States)

Event: Quadruple Sculls

Regina Salmons (United States)

Event: Eight

Tabea Schendekehl (Germany)

Event: Quadruple Sculls

Jessica Thoennes (United States)

Event: Pair

Emma Twigg (New Zealand)

Event: Single Sculls


Rugby Sevens

Olivia Apps (Canada)

Kemisetso Baloyi (South Africa)

Alysha Corrigan (Canada)

Lauren Doyle (United States)

Doyle appears to be dating rugby player Summer Jones.

Marina Fioravanti (Brazil)

Meg Jones (Great Britain)

Meg Jones and her partner, Celia Quansah, both competed on their rugby team in the Tokyo Olympics. Unfortunately Celia had an injury last year and thus didn’t make the team. But she’ll be there to cheer Meg on.

Jasmine Joyce (Great Britain)

Jasmine is married to rugby player Alisha Butchers.

Alev Kelter (United States)

Kayleigh Powell (Great Britain)

Steph Rovetti (United States)

Sharmi Smale Williams (Australia)

Lauren Torley (Great Britain)

Portia Woodman-Wickliffe (New Zealand)

Portia is married to rugby player Renee Woodman-Wickliffe.


Sailing

Lara Vadlau (Austria)

Event: Mixed Dinghy

Lara’s dating footballer and fellow Olympian Lea Schuller!


Shooting

Jolyn Beer (Germany)

Event: 50m Rifle 3 Positions


Skateboarding

Jazmin Alvarez (Colombia)

Event: Street


Surfing

Sarah Baum (South Africa)

Tyler Wright (Australia)


Swimming

Ana Marcela Cunha (Brazil)

Event: Marathon Swimming – 10km

Melanie Henique (France)

Event: 50m Freestyle


Tennis

Nadia Podoroska (Argentina)

Events: Singles and Doubles

Nadia is engaged to Argentine tennis player Guillermina Naya.

Demi Schuurs (Netherlands)

Event: Doubles


Volleyball

Anne Buijs (Netherlands)

Ana Carolina Da Silva (Brazil)

Ana is married to Dutch volleyball player Anne Elise Buijs.

Paola Egonu (Italy)

Gabriela Guimaraes (Brazil)

Rosamaria Montibeller (Brazil)

Ebrar Karakury (Türkiye)

Haleigh Washington (United States)


Wrestling

Kayla Miracle (United States)

Event: Freestyle 62kg


Do you know any other LGBT Olympians that should be featured on our list? Post your additions in the comments!

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A black biracial, bisexual girl raised in the South, working hard to restore North Carolina's good name. Lover of sports, politics, good TV and Sonia Sotomayor. You can follow her latest rants on Twitter.

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I Read My Girlfriend’s Diary and Now I’m Using It To My Advantage

I couldn't stop myself! Is this a sin I can never come back from?

Q:

So I read my girlfriend’s diary. I don't want to get too into the details for obvious reasons. But she is very into journaling. At the same time, she has always struggled to communicate her feelings to me. She has gone along with things and then told me much later she didn't like that thing, like a sexual thing or something I made for dinner. This has made me a little paranoid that she is not always honest with me about what she wants and needs. The way she grew up, she was encouraged to swallow her feelings.

Recently while she was on a trip I gave in to temptation and sneaked a peek at some of her older diaries, telling myself it was ok because these ones wouldn...

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Here’s All 17 Gay Women’s Basketball Players Going to the 2024 Paris Olympics

Here in the United States, there’s been an explosion of interest in women’s basketball. Ratings and attendance are way up: last week’s WNBA All-Star Game had a record 3.4 million viewers, two million more than the previous year. For longtime women’s basketball fans, the attention is both welcome and long overdue. This week, newcomers will get front row seats to the game’s global reach. What the newcomers will find is immense talent, fueled by competition in thriving professional leagues in Australia, China, South Korea and across Europe. They’ll see competition fueled by familiarity: former teammates in the aforementioned leagues now having to compete against each other. Plus, nearly every country participating in the Olympics has former or current WNBA talent on their roster. Just three months ago, Napheesa Collier and Emma Meesseman won a Euroleague championship together and now they’ll battle in the in Olympic group play. But while the international landscape is filled with incredible talent, when it comes to 5×5 women’s basketball at the Olympics, it’s Team USA all the way. That’s not me being a homer, that’s just facts. Simply put, there has been no more dominant team in the Olympics, in any sport, men’s or women’s, than the United States women’s national basketball team. Since women’s basketball was added to the Olympics in 1976, the USWNBT has won a medal in every single Olympics (the 1980 Summer Olympics boycott notwithstanding). The team has taken gold in eight of 11 tournaments, including the last seven straight. In fact, they haven’t lost a game in the Olympics since 1992. Only three players on the current roster were even alive then. Even when they get the roster wrong, this team is virtually unbeatable. To what do I attribute the USWNBT’s dominance? Well, you know what Megan Rapinoe said: “you can’t win a championship without gays on your team” and queer women make up the majority of the team’s roster (sadly, for you aspiring Basketball Wives, they do all seem to be boo’d up). But who else is gay here…and because we’re not just here to fawn over hot athletes, I’ll break down a bit of what you can expect at the Olympics.

How the Olympics Work

Unlike with soccer, there aren’t significant differences between how the Olympics operate and, say, the FIBA Women’s Basketball World Cup. Same number of teams, same roster sizes, same short turnaround during the group stage. The key differences are the number of groups — three at the Olympics, compared to two at the World Cup — and the length of the overall tournament (6 games in 13 days for the Olympics vs. 8 games in 10 days for the World Cup). Ten of the nations competing in the Olympics earned their slots by competing in qualifying tournaments, while the USWNBT earned their slot by winning the 2022 World Cup. As the host nation, France earned an automatic berth. All those teams were put into four pots, according to their FIBA rankings, and groups were formed by randomly drawing one team from each pot. Here’s how the draw shook out: In the opening rounds, will face off with the other three teams in their group. The top two teams from each group are determined by classification points (2 points for a win, 1 point for a loss, 0 points for a forfeit) and, if necessary, the outcome from head-to-head match-ups. The top two third place teams, across all groups, all earn slots in the quarterfinals. Those teams are ranked by classification points and, if necessary, points differential and number of points scored. The quarterfinals kick-off the knock-out stage and from there, it’s just survive and advance. The winners of the semifinal matches will advance to the gold medal game and the losers will play for the bronze medal. Both those games will be played on August 11.
Round 1 schedule of the 2024 Olympic Games - Women's 5v5 Basketball

What’s 3×3?

You’re forgiven if you’re not up to snuff on what 3×3 basketball (pronounced three-ex-three) is, after all it just debuted as an Olympic sport in 2021. The game has been around for years but FIBA (the International Basketball Federation) started formalizing it as a sport in the early 2000s. The first sanction girls’ 3×3 tournament took place in 2009 Asian Youth Games. Three years later, FIBA launched its World Cup and the game has been thriving ever since. Because 3×3 basketball is particularly beloved by young people and in urban areas, the International Olympic Committee added it to the program at the Tokyo games. The 3×3 game is fast-paced and dynamic: one second, you’re watching a team play offense and then, the next, they’re on defense. It’s non-stop action. It requires all the players to be incredibly versatile. The game is played with just three players (and one alternating sub) in the half-court and without an in-game coach. The ball is the same size as a WNBA ball but weighs as much as an MNBA ball. Every shot inside the arc is worth one point, while every shot outside the arc is worth two. The shot clock is just 12 seconds, half of what you’d see in a 5×5 game. The sub can enter the game anytime during a dead ball situation — a foul, a free throw or if the ball goes out of bounds — by tagging an outgoing player. Foul shots are worth one point each. Once a team fouls more than seven times, the opponent gets an automatic two shots. If a team fouls more than nine times, their opponent gets two shots and possession of the ball. A team wins if they’re the first team to score 21 or they’re ahead after 10 minutes of play. If the score is tied after 10 minutes the game goes into a sudden death overtime: the first team to score two points wins. There are only 8 teams competing in the 3×3 Olympic tournament: five who have qualified via tournaments, two automatic qualifiers due to their FIBA Rankings and the host nation. The teams will play a round robin. The top two teams advance to the semifinals. Teams that finish ranked third through six will compete in play-in games to advance to the semis. The winners of the semifinals advance to the gold medal game, the losers play for bronze. It’s a great time to get familiar with 3×3 basketball because, in January, a new domestic league called Unrivaled is launching in the United States, featuring 30 of your favorite players.
Round 1 schedule of the 2024 Olympic Games - Women's 3x3 Basketball

WHO ALL’S GAY HERE?: BBALL EDITION

Amy Atwell (Australia)

Event: 5×5 Basketball

Kahleah Copper (United States)

Event: 5×5 Basketball
Copper plays for the WNBA’s Phoenix Mercury.

Paula Ginzo (Spain)

Event: 5×5 Basketball

Chelsea Gray (United States)

Event: 5×5 Basketball
Chelsea Gray plays for the Las Vegas Aces.

Brittney Griner (United States)

Event: 5×5 Basketball
Brittney Griner plays for the Phoenix Mercury. She and her wife, Cherelle, just had a baby!

Jewell Loyd (United States)

Event: 5×5 Basketball
Jewell Loyd plays for the WNBA’s Seattle Storm.

Anneli Maley (Australia)

Event: 3×3 Basketball
Anneli Maley plays for the Perth Lynx of the Women’s National Basketball League (WNBL).

Tayra Melendez (Puerto Rico)

Event: 5×5 Basketball
Tayra plays for the Gigantes de Carolina in Puerto Rico.

Mariona Ortiz (Spain)

Event: 5×5 Basketball

Alexis Peterson (Germany)

Event: 5×5 Basketball

Isalys Quinones (Puerto Rico)

Event: 5×5 Basketball

Sofía Roma (Puerto Rico)

Event: 5×5 Basketball

Breanna Stewart (United States)

Event: 5×5 Basketball
Stewart plays for the New York Liberty. Her wife, Marta Xargay Casademont, is a former player for the Phoenix Mercury and the Spanish National Team.

Diana Taurasi (United States)

Event: 5×5 Basketball
‘Taurasi plays for the Phoenix Mercury. Her wife, Penny Taylor, also a former Mercury player, played for the Australian National Team’s silver-medal-winning Olympics squad in 2004 and 2008.

Alyssa Thomas (United States)

Event: 5×5 Basketball
‘Alyssa Thomas plays for the Connecticut Sun. So does her fiancee, DeWanna Bonner.

Ali Wilson (Australia)

Event: 3×3 Basketball
Ali Wilson plays for the Perth Lynx of the Women’s National Basketball League (WNBL) in Australia, and is dating her Lynx teammate, Amy Atwell.

Sami Whitcomb (Australia)

Event: 5×5 Basketball

Marena Whittle (Australia)

Event: 3×3 Basketball

Did I miss any gay ballers? Post your additions in the comments!
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Natalie

A black biracial, bisexual girl raised in the South, working hard to restore North Carolina's good name. Lover of sports, politics, good TV and Sonia Sotomayor. You can follow her latest rants on Twitter.

Natalie has written 413 articles for us.

4 Comments

  1. Does this mean what I think it means….

    A’ja Wilson is straight.

    Why is God so cruel sometimes.

    • When it comes to A’ja, I try to remind myself that “Love is love.”

      (Followed immediately by reminding myself that Candace Parker used to date men as well.)

  2. Amy Atwell who you mention as a partner, is now in the Australian 5×5 team. She replaced the injured Bec Allen yesterday.

    • I hadn’t heard that Bec Allen was out. I hate that so much…she’s one of my favorite shooters.

      I hope she recovers quickly.

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It’s Not Too Late To Watch the Best Show of the Year

Every once in a while a show comes along that’s so unique, so unapologetic, and so, well, good, that it feels like a miracle it exists at all. With major companies turning against art since the pandemic and with the streaming bubble bursting, these little miracles are becoming more and more infrequent. This makes the arrival of Julio Torres’ Fantasmas feel like a sigh of creative relief.

Torres plays Julio, a person living in a world much like our own. Cost of living is rising, bureaucracy and capitalism make life impossible for most, technological advances are wasted, everything is illogical in the most boring ways possible, and conformity is prioritized over uniqueness. Julio’s desire to create on his own terms and not get a “proof of existence” card make him an anomaly.

This card isn’t the only slight variant to our world. Julio’s assistant is a robot named Bibo who dreams of being an actor and his social media manager is a tiny clay figure with a temper and bad boundaries. Anyone familiar with Torres’ work from his special My Favorite Shapes to his previous show Los Espookys to his recent feature directorial debut Problemista, will find a familiar voice. But here Torres has somehow increased the fidelity to that voice. Fantasmas is very, very entertaining, and yet it accomplishes that without any attempt to fit itself into the boxes of other media.

Throughout the series, Julio’s main narrative in which he loses an earring and wants to get a biopsy of a mark on his neck and doesn’t want to sell out or get a “proof of existence” card is frequently interrupted with vignettes about secondary and tertiary characters. It often feels like a sketch show linked by this main narrative, all existing in the same bizarro universe.

This show is queer. The sketches include Julia Fox as Mrs. Clause (speaking during a trial where the plaintiff is an elf played by Bowen Yang), Dominique Jackson as The Algorithm, Patti Harrison as a goldfish with a job, a Cole Escola appearance I shall not be spoiling, and a Spike Einbinder/Kate Berlant Marvel spoof — as in a spoof of Marvel Studios and the culture around it. There’s also an incredible — and really hot?? — sequence where Alexa Demie and Ziwe have a customer service representative top off.

The way lines from I Think You Should Leave enter the lexicon of guys who take UCB classes and lines from recent SNL enter the lexicon of straight people you went to high school with, things said in Fantasmas are sure to be repeated by queer people everywhere. That these sketches are so memorable and consistently funny while being political and thought-provoking and linked by a consistent narrative makes it all the more impressive.

From cameos to Torres himself, the cast is perfect. I could go scene-by-scene, vignette-by-vignette and praise each performer. (I will shout out Joe Rumrill as the voice of Bibo and Tomas Matos as Chester, a driver for an Uber alternate called Chester.) But performance artist and frequent Torres collaborator Martine Gutierrez is somehow the best part of a show that seems like it should be too good to have a best part. As Julio’s manager Vanesja — or, rather, Julio’s friend who has been doing a performance art piece where she acts like a manager for years — she’s not just funny, she acts as the show’s grounding presence. Her idiosyncratic, stylized characterization sets the tone of the series. Her work establishes the world as much as the wonderfully sparse set design and dream-like photography.

Each of Fantasmas’ six episodes pulled me a bit closer to sanity. By reflecting our maddening world with precision, it makes everything feel more manageable. Torres may not have the answers to creating a more just or logical world, but his work is reassurance that we are, in fact, experiencing the impossibilities those in power want to hide.

Built into the text of the show is an awareness that its own existence is special. Not just because of its politics, but because there’s an extended sequence where Paul Dano fucks a puppet alien. In the end, Fantasmas is a “proof of existence” card for great, queer television. It’s somehow still possible in our mixed up, fucked up world.


Fantasmas is now streaming on Max.

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Drew Burnett Gregory

Drew is a Brooklyn-based writer, filmmaker, and theatremaker. She is a Senior Editor at Autostraddle with a focus in film and television, sex and dating, and politics. Her writing can also be found at Bright Wall/Dark Room, Cosmopolitan UK, Refinery29, Into, them, and Knock LA. She was a 2022 Outfest Screenwriting Lab Notable Writer and a 2023 Lambda Literary Screenwriting Fellow. She is currently working on a million film and TV projects mostly about queer trans women. Find her on Twitter and Instagram.

Drew Burnett has written 570 articles for us.

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All 45 Gay Women’s Soccer Players Competing in the 2024 Paris Olympics

It’s hard to believe it was little over a year ago. Just 12 months ago, the best women’s soccer teams from across the globe and their fans converged on Australia and New Zealand to crown a new World Cup champion. We cheered on the perennial powerhouses and celebrated the debutantes. We saw some of the most incredible feats of athleticism…one goal after another reminding us why they call this the beautiful game. We got to watch legends of the game pass the torch to a whole new generation of ballers, many of them queer. We felt the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat.

It was glorious. So, let’s do that again, shall we? Well, minus the post-championship assault…let’s not do that again, ever (I’m looking at you, Bruce Mwape).

Twelve of the world’s best teams have earned their opportunity to compete for Olympic gold and their quests begin ahead of Friday’s Opening Ceremony. If you need some help preparing for 16 days of footballing action, I’m here to help. Here’s a look at how the Olympics work, who to follow for in-depth WOSO coverage, and, of course, the most important question of the day: who all’s gay here?


How the Olympics Work

As I noted, 12 teams will compete in this summer’s tournament, a far cry from the 32 nations that participated in the Women’s World Cup last year. What’s that mean? Simply put, every game will be competitive: these teams are the best of the best. The tournament will run from July 25 to August 10. That’s 15 days less than the World Cup so the schedule is compressed: whereas, for example, the US Women’s National Team had five days between their first two games of the group stage at the World Cup, they’ll have just three days.

Rosters for the Olympics only feature 18 players, including two goalkeepers. Each team is also allowed four alternates who, thanks to a rule change, can, in the event of injury, be substituted into the core 18 player rotation. That, ostensibly, gives each team a 22 player roster — still a player less than the World Cup — but those alternate players aren’t readily accessible. The schedule…the short rosters…it’s tough and, as a result, the Olympics can sometimes seems less like the beautiful game and more like a war of attrition.

For the Olympics, the host nation is an automatic qualifier and the other 11 slots are decided through qualifying tournaments. Back in March, each of the teams were put into pots, according to their FIFA World Rankings. The teams were then randomly drawn and slotted into one of three groups:

In the opening rounds (group play), teams will face off with the other three teams in their group. Each team will play three matches between July 25 and July 31. There is no overtime (or extra time) in group play and games can end in a tie. Teams get three points for the win, one point for a tie and no points for a loss. The top two teams from each group will advance to the knockout round automatically and two of the best third place finishers, across all groups, will advance as well.

In the knockout round (starting August 3), it’s survive and advance. Ties in the knockout stage push the match into extra time (two 15 minute halves) and, if the match remains tied, to a penalty shootout. The winners of the semifinal matches will advance to the gold medal game (August 10) and the losers will play for the bronze medal (August 9).


Match Day 1 schedule of the 2024 Olympic Games - Women's Football

Find the start times for matches in your timezone at olympics.com.


Who Should I Follow for More WOSO Content Online?

Sure, I’ll be around to yell about all the latest happenings on the pitch — celebrating each and every banger from our Olympics Rainbow Coalition — but if you’re looking for more in-depth coverage of women’s soccer during the Games, here are a few suggestions on who to follow for in-depth Olympic coverage:

  • The Athletic: Accessing The Athletics‘s coverage requires a subscription but, for my money, you won’t find a better resource for WOSO coverage. You can also follow their team — Meg Linehan, Steph Yang, Tamerra Griffin, Jessy Parker Humphreys and Laia Cervelló Herrero — on social media or listen to their podcast, Full Time.
  • Attacking Third: Available online or on the Golazo! Network, Attacking Third‘s rotating panels offers comprehensive coverage of women’s soccer.
  • Futbol W: Just in time for the Olympic Games, ESPN is launching Futbol W, a weekly hour-long show about the women’s game. The show’s hosted by someone who knows a little something about winning football culture: Ali Krieger.
  • Gal Pal Sports: Lesley Ryder and Emily Anderson are Chicago wives who balance their keen insights with humor. Their video content, in particular, offers a more approachable way to learn about the game.
  • The RE-CAP Show: As we all bide our time until we get to see Christen Press back on the pitch for Angel City — she’s “day-to-day” according to head coach Becki Tweed — we can enjoy Press and Tobin Heath offering their takes on the latest action. Beyond the X’s and O’s of gameplay, Heath and Press offer some great insight on how it feels to go through the Olympic gauntlet.
  • Shea Butter FC: For the first time in history, the USWNT has an all black frontline and, inevitably, misogynoir will find its way into the soccer commentary. Because of that, it’s even more important to diversify the voices you listen to…and you’d be hard-pressed to find a better option than Skye and Sylvs of Shea Butter FC.

WHO ALL’S GAY HERE?: WOSO EDITION

GROUP A

France

Maelle Lakrar (Real Madrid)

Maelle is dating Marie Levasseur, a left-back for Division 1 Féminine club Montpellier HSC.

Pauline Peyraud-Magnin (Juventus)

Constance Picaud (Paris Saint-Germain)

Constance and her wife are married and recently had a baby!


Colombia

Reserve – Wendy Bonilla (America de Cali)

Linda Caicedo (Real Madrid)

Daniela Montoya (Atletico Nacional)

As illustrated above, Daniella is dating fellow footballer Renata Arango Silva.

Leicy Santos (Atletico Madrid)

Leicy is currently dating motivational speaker Geral Matallana.


Canada

Kadeisha Buchanan (Chelsea)

Head Coach Bev Priestman

Quinn (Seattle Reign)

Kailen Sheridan (San Diego Wave)

Kailen married her wife, Dominique, in December of 2023.

Reserve – Shelina Zadorsky (West Ham)


New Zealand

Michaela Foster (Replacing Ali Riley)

Reserve – Annalie Longo (Wellington Phoenix)

Meikayla Moore

Meikayla is dating fellow footballer Allie Hess, who is a forward for MSV Duisburg of the German Frauen-Bundesliga.


GROUP B

United States

Tierna Davidson (Gotham)

Reserve – Jane Campbell (Houston Dash)

Jane recently married retired pro footballer Christine Campbell-Nairn.


Germany

Ann-Katrin Berger (Gotham)

Ann-Katin recently announced her engagement to Chelsea football star Jess Cater.

Sara Doorsoun (Eintracht Frankfurt)

Felicitas Rauch (North Carolina Courage)

Lea Schuller (Bayern Munich)

Schueller has been dating Austrian sport sailer Lara Vadlau since 2019 — and this year, both athletes will be competing in the Olympic games.


Australia

Mackenzie Arnold (West Ham)

Mackenzie is dating Kirsty Smith, a football player for West Ham.

Ellie Carpenter (Lyon)

Ellie Carpenter and Dutch professional footballer Danielle Van De Donk are a very beloved and very engaged sporting couple.

Caitlin Foord (Arsenal)

Ford is dating Irish footballer Katie McCabe.

Reserve – Sharn Freier (Brisbane Roar)

Katrina Gorry (West Ham)

Katrina Gorry has a baby with her wife, Swedish footballer Clara Markstedt.

Michelle Heyman (Canberra United)

Michelle is dating actor / comedian/pilates teacher Christine Aldridge.

Alanna Kennedy (Manchester City)

Teagan Micah (Liverpool)

Hayley Raso (Real Madrid)

Emily van Egmond (San Diego Wave)

Emily is in a relationship with digital creator Kat Thompson.

Cortnee Vine (Sydney FC)

Cortnee is dating footballer Charlotte McLean.

Tameka Yallop (Brisbane Roar)

Tamika is dating retired pro footballer Kirsty Yallop, who will be attending the Olympics as a member of the FIFA Technical Study Group.

No gays we know (yet?): Zambia


GROUP C

Spain

Teresa Abelleira (Real Madrid)

Teresa is dating footballer Patricia Curbelo.

Jenni Hermoso (Tigres)

Irene Paredes (Barcelona)

Irene is married to field hockey player Lucia Ybarra and they have a three-year-old son.

Alexia Putellas (Barcelona)

Reserve – Alba Redondo (Levante)

Brazil

Adriana (Orlando Pride)

Reserve – Lauren (Kansas City Current)

Lauren is dating Brazilian football player Mileninha.

Lorena (Gremio)

Reserve – Luciana (Ferroviaria)

Marta (Orlando Pride)

Marta is dating footballer dating Carrie Lawrence, who currently plays for the NWSL’s Orlando Pride.

Taina (America Mineiro)

Tamires (Corinthians)

Tamires’ partner, Gabi Fernandes, is a musician.

Tarciane (Houston Dash)

She’s dating footballer Thuany Siridakis.

No gays we know (yet?): Japan and Nigeria

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

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Natalie

A black biracial, bisexual girl raised in the South, working hard to restore North Carolina's good name. Lover of sports, politics, good TV and Sonia Sotomayor. You can follow her latest rants on Twitter.

Natalie has written 413 articles for us.

4 Comments

  1. Natalie you are my hero for assembling this list!! My friend and I have been having serious discussions about USWNT’s ball-dropping on LGBTQ rep this year (and everything that went down with Korbin Albert–hello, public apology when???), huge shame coming off previous years. But I’ll still be supporting obvi and extra support to Tierna and Jane <3 Aus you're putting us to shame lmao. Love to see the rep across all these teams from around the globe. Best of luck to all the teams this year!!

  2. Okay I did NOT know that Shelina Zadorsky was queer!!!!

    On closer inspection, it appears she may be dating her CANWNT teammate Adriana Leon???? That’s Leon in the last slide of that carousel, and in at least one other couple-y shot on Zadoraky’s IG.

    Can anyone else confirm?! As a Canadian soccer fan this is very exciting!!!

  3. Australia may have just lost our first match against Germany. But we cannot be defeated in homosexuality!

  4. In Spain we have waaaay more than those players in the list!! :D Both of the goalkeepers Cata Coll and Misa Rodriguez, then you have Patri Guijarro, Ona Batlle (dating Lucy Bronze openly!), Mariona Caldentey (who’s dating Lia Wälti)… and I think I might be forgetting someone else… Eva Navarro!

Comments are closed.

With ‘Monét’s Slumber Party,’ Director Carly Usdin Finds Their Niche

Before Carly Usdin was my friend, I was a fan.

I watched their debut feature Suicide Kale soon after coming out and felt inspired witnessing a hyper low-budget queer film that was also, well, good. And not just good, but — within its budgetary limits — formally confident. When I moved to LA, Carly and Suicide Kale writer/star Brittani Nichols were two of the most generous people I met, both in welcoming me as a friend and in providing support and wisdom as I learned about Hollywood.

It’s been such a gift to have an intimate window into the ways Carly has navigated an impossible industry and get to watch all of the wonderful work they’ve made despite the hurdles. Their latest project is Monét’s Slumber Party, a surreal, super queer talk show hosted by Monét X Change. The first episode premiered last week and it is laugh-out-loud funny from beginning to end.

I spoke with Carly about the creation of this show, its connections to their WNBA sketch series, and what’s next for queer media.


Drew: I was cracking up this morning watching the episode. Obviously I was going to do this interview to talk to you, but then I was fully cackling and Elise was like what are you watching?? And I was like I’m watching Carly’s show!

Can you start by talking about your history working with drag queens? Because you are part of RuPaul’s Drag Race herstory in some big ways.

Carly: Remember when I sent you— I think I called it the Carly Drag Race Syllabus?

Drew: (laughs) Yes.

Carly: I found it the other day and was like damn I have done a lot with Drag Race. It just keeps continuing. It’s so special that drag queens keep finding their way back into my work. Getting to combine something I love outside of my work with my work is such an honor and a privilege.

In college, I helped put on big drag shows with my best friend Cesar in Orlando. Then fast forward I’m working at Logo and I’m making Drag Race promos for the early seasons of the show with all these Florida girls I knew from college like Coco, Roxxxy, and Detox. It was crazy. Coco was already an iconic performer, but when I was there Detox and Roxxxy were baby drag queens. It’s incredible to see where they started from and where they have blossomed into. Team Roxxxy for All Stars 9.

But yeah I happened to be making TV promos for Logo when Drag Race launched a million years ago. I got to edit and help produce the promos for seasons one through three and then for season four, my boss was like alright it’s yours. I truly don’t know if I’d have the balls to pitch this concept now because I know too much and am too hardened, but, as a young person, I was like we’re going to make the craziest thing anyone has ever seen. I pitched this retrofuturistic sci-fi fantasia where RuPaul creates the contestants in a lab and then the lab explodes. Because the fierceness is too much. Obviously.

Drew: (laughs) Of course.

Carly: To this day, one of the craziest things I’ve done. It was the first thing I directed professionally and my first day on set I had to direct RuPaul. The only direction I’d done prior to that was like my friends in stupid videos. I was just like oh my god this is an icon. I grew up loving RuPaul and watching The RuPaul Show on VH1. It was truly incredible.

Then I directed season five promos, All Stars 1 promos, a cute little Orbitz campaign with some of the girls from AS1, this crazy choose your own adventure Absolut Ru-Dunnit mystery series with the season four girls. And then I moved from New York to LA and became freelance. I knew everyone from World of Wonder, because of working on all the promos, so I hit them up and asked what I could do. They brought me in right away and I helped launch their YouTube channel which essentially became WOW Presents Plus. I helped create early episodes of Alyssa’s Secret and things like that. I got to do a bunch of content for the seasons five, six, and seven finales and reunions. I was on the ground with a little crew backstage getting ready, just having a blast, making the silliest videos. Then they launched DragCon a few years later and they sent me to the first ever DragCon to film and document the whole thing. The energy in that room was unbelievable and it’s only blown up since.

Then I was at Entertainment Tonight and Entertainment Weekly for a while and got to do a bunch of Drag Race stuff there. I’ve done some music videos with the girls over the years. And then I guess that brings us to this: Monét’s Slumber Party.

Drew: And how did this come about? It feels like such a natural progression.

Carly: Literally when I got an email about this project I felt like if it got made and I hadn’t known about it, I would’ve been crushed because it’s so me.

Drew: Absolutely.

Carly: I got an email from the producer of Monét’s Slumber Party, Ebony Elaine Hardin. We were in the fellowship program at Women in Film together. I was a directing fellow and she was a producing fellow. She reached out and said, we’re looking for directors for this new show, I saw your work, I feel like this is right up your alley, let’s talk. And I was like, wow is it ever. The way we describe it is PeeWee’s Playhouse meets Graham Norton — chat show but zany, wacky variety show energy. And growing up PeeWee’s Playhouse was one of my favorite things so I cannot imagine a more perfect project for me. We’re combining silly stuff, comedy, queer stuff, there’s a puppet. Immediately I was like what do I need to do to get this job?

Drew: And once you got the job, what was the production process like?

Carly: When I started they had their showrunner Paul Robalino who is incredible and the folks at Dropout led by Paul developed this with Monét. She came to them after doing Dungeons and Drag Queens. So by the time I came on Paul had already figured out the format, had a small writers room that was generating different games and segments, and the recurring characters were already established. I got to inherit all of those things and then figure out how we do it and start putting my own spin on it.

Drew: Even though the first person you ever directed was RuPaul, do you still get starstruck? Was there any guest that was particularly exciting for you?

Carly: This season was fun, because it was mostly people I’d already worked with before. A long time ago when I first moved to LA, I directed a bunch of sketches at College Humor which was essentially Dropout before it became Dropout so I knew a lot of the recurring cast members already. And then I’d worked with a lot of the queens before. I’d worked with Monét, I’d worked with Alaska, I’d worked with Jujubee. It was great to see everyone again.

But I was a little starstruck by Joel Kim Booster. As a queer filmmaker who is especially interested in romantic comedies, Fire Island was such a fabulous movie. I loved his script and loved his performance so getting to work with him for even a short period of time was exciting. Before he left, I told him that I loved the movie and then I felt really corny for doing that. But I think people like when you tell them you love their things.

Drew: Yeah! Especially in that environment.

Carly: I’ve directed a lot of queer things. I think this might be the queerest.

Drew: I think it might be which is really saying something.

Carly: I don’t know what percentage of the cast is queer and trans but it’s very high.

Drew: Yeah also there’s a puppet and a robot.

Carly: A filthy gay puppet! When I first came on they were like, we want to do something with a puppet and I was like yes. I got to do something with puppets in the past and it was a lifelong dream as someone who grew up watching all of the Jim Henson properties. I’ve always been obsessed with puppets.

We auditioned a few different puppeteers and eventually went with Jonathan Kidder who I’ve actually known for years. We’ve worked together a few times and getting to reunite for this was so much fun. We didn’t give him a ton for the character Mitch. We just said he lives in Monét’s closet and he’s queer. For MAMA, Monét’s AI assistant — Priscilla Davies does her voice and is so funny — we said MAMA is an AI assistant who doesn’t really like doing it. So if they ask for something you can just be like nah I’m busy, I’m tired. But with Mitch we just let Kidder come up with something on his own. He came in with the voice and we were like, yeah that’s perfect, this is Mitch.

We’re sort of thinking of the show as a pilot season. It’s only six episodes, we shot it all in three days, so you’re also seeing us find our footing in real time. And something I was always conscious of was balancing Monét as the host, the four or five guests, and then these two additional characters. But it happened really naturally.

Drew: Yeah I mean even the first episode flows really well.

Carly: It’s so silly.

Drew: You’re also doing this after doing The Syd + TP Show and there’s a shared DNA between these two series. What did you learn during that experience that informed this one?

Carly: I like to think that maybe I’m finally carving out a niche for things that are both queer and undeniably stupid.

Drew: (laughs)

Carly: And if I call something stupid that’s the highest compliment.

Drew: Sure absolutely.

Carly: I am an unserious person. And I bring that unseriousness to my work. So I like to think that with these two projects I’m finally figuring out my voice as a filmmaker and it’s gay stupidity. We need more of that.

The Syd + TP Show was another one that was so perfect for me. I’d say my two favorite things in life are drag and women’s sports. And The Syd + TP Show is a buddy comedy about two WNBA champions who are also benchwarmers and have decided that because they won a title they’re hot shit and are the faces of the league. There was a built in delusion to that show that made it even less grounded than Monét’s Slumber Party.

With this one, I wanted it to feel like a magical place where anything could possibly happen at any given moment. We exist in reality but there are some things that are inexplicable. A specific example is every time we transition into a new segment I made a rule that any setup has to have already happened. We see a graphic transition and then suddenly it’s different. But people still enter and exit through a front door and still receive a text. It’s oddly grounded whereas The Syd + TP Show was absolute silliness.

But you’re right they absolutely share DNA. The fact that either of these shows exist is kind of a miracle. They’re both these deeply queer, niche, silly shows and the fact that anyone gave us money to make either of them is kind of shocking to me. I feel so lucky to have gotten to do both.

Drew: What do drag queens and basketball players have in common?

Carly: A lot more than you’d think, Drew. (laughs)

Drew: (laughs)

Carly: Actually, this year and the year before the final four of the women’s college basketball championship and the finale of the main Drag Race season fell around the same date. And I was like wow I love watching women compete, I love watching strong, fabulous women do things. Last year I was Team Sasha Colby and Team South Carolina. The two SCs.

Drew: I love that timeline crossover. They’re also both almost entirely gay except Maddy Morphosis and the handful of straight WNBA players.

Carly: There are a handful of straight WNBA players.

Drew: Yeah I don’t want to erase anyone’s heterosexuality.

Carly: I will not be party to any heterosexual erasure.

Drew: But they are very queer professions.

Carly: They’re very queer and have very loyal fanbases and both have very interesting portrayals of femininity. There’s strength there, but not in a Strong Woman sort of way. People are multi-faceted. There’s a dynamic femininity I find really interesting. And, hey, what is competition if not drag?

Drew: Hmmmm.

Carly: That doesn’t make any sense.

Drew: “All sports are drag.” – Carly Usdin

Carly: Exactly, Drew. Exactly. That’s the pull quote.

Drew: Speaking of the existence of these two shows, audiences are starting to notice we’re in a dip in queer media. It’s a dip that we who work in the industry noticed a couple years ago because production was starting to dry up.

Carly: Exactly. Things take time.

Drew: Where do you think shows like this that aren’t being produced by Netflix or major networks but are being produced fit into this narrative? Are you feeling optimistic? Are you feeling frustrated? Both?

Carly: It’s a real mixed bag. I feel so excited to have gotten to make these two shows. But you’re right they aren’t on Netflix or Hulu or whatever. But truly one of the most wonderful working experiences I’ve ever had was working on this show with Dropout. The ethos that starts at the top of the company and trickles down to every person there — from staff to freelance — there is this feeling that people are human beings before being measured by our output.

Drew: What a concept!

Carly: Truly. But how many jobs have you worked on where that’s part of it?

Drew: Right.

Carly: I sent this crazy email to everyone at Dropout after we wrapped production. This was a transformative experience for me. I’ve been directing for twelve years and this is the most taken care of I’ve felt both as a director and as a person.

Whenever I’m in a position to hire people, I want to create a harmonious, even utopian environment, to make the fact that we are working feel less worky. Our jobs are to make things and every time I step on a set I feel so lucky that I get to do this, that I get to paid to do this. So a company like Dropout feels so aligned with my own ethics and getting in with them and getting to do this project and having this new batch of co-conspirators is so exciting. I’m so excited for what Dropout is doing and the future of Dropout. All of their shows are hilarious and there is this kind of innate queerness to so much of it. Getting to be part of that is so special.

But, on the other side of it, I’m like what are all the people with the bigger budgets and all the reach and resources in the world, when are they going to let us do stuff like this? So there’s a part of me that’s super frustrated. Right now I’m trying to get a couple features off the ground and they’re super queer and we are having really interesting conversations around those. One of them is an indie feature so we’re going the financier route and having those challenges and the other one is more of a big studio project and we’re pitching that to production companies and big names and it has been frustrating. So I think it’s both. I’m in the same frustrated place as so many of us and our peers as far as queer representation. It’s crazy that we’re starting to have the same conversations we were having ten plus years ago. It’s disheartening in many ways. But things like Monét’s Slumber Party and The Syd + TP Show give me hope. Julio Torres’ new show Fantasmas gives me hope.

Drew: It’s so good!!

Carly: I was watching with my jaw dropped the whole time. I was like this is the future. This is unbelievable. I’m also desperate to get back to New York this summer to see Cole Escola’s Oh, Mary! that’s on fucking Broadway.

Drew: I know. It’s crazy.

Carly: These are the people I look at who give me hope when I get frustrated by the rest of it. Because really it just feels like we’re having to revert back to the queer indie roots. Even back to New Queer Cinema of the 90’s. Maybe we’re just doing that again and that’s not the worst thing in the world.

Drew: And then you have a situation where Dropout gets big enough hits that all of a sudden the bigger people with worse ethics are like wait how do we get our hands on this? Or Oh, Mary! is such a hit that it goes to Broadway.

Carly: Right.

Drew: Not to say there wasn’t queer work in the late 2010’s and even now that has squeezed through on these major platforms and been amazing. But I also know from experience and you know from experience that there are conversations that happen during those productions that water them down. It’s like “wow I can’t believe this is on Netflix!” but we don’t get to see the three jokes or storylines that were cut. And so it’s better when you get something like Monét’s Slumber Party in a space where top down it’s supported. Not to say that if you cut the three best jokes, it wouldn’t still be good, but I’m glad they weren’t cut.

Carly: We don’t have to!

Drew: You know what I mean? So there are major benefits to going smaller. But then we all have rent to pay and also there are things you can do on bigger budgets that aren’t possible otherwise. So I also feel the both.

That said, the indie films I’m seeing now don’t feel like they’re being made by queer people who are thinking oh if this is a success I could get my own TV show on HBO. It feels like people are making these movies because they want to make these movies and are putting everything into them.

Carly: Absolutely.

Drew: To be honest, the indies I’m seeing now are way more like Suicide Kale. They’re hyper low budget… and they’re good. And again I’m speaking in real broad generalizations, but I do think the 2010’s had a string of queer indies that felt as uninteresting as whatever Hollywood was doing just with a hipster soundtrack. So it’s exciting to me. Because Suicide Kale was always such an anamoly.

Carly: Yeah it really was. (laughs) This is probably a conversation for another day, but there’s a part of me that feels like if we had made Suicide Kale even five years after we made it that it would’ve been a much bigger conversation.

Drew: Oh yeah.

Carly: There’s part of me that— I’m about to have a very vulnerable moment— I feel like I keep being ahea—

Drew: No, it’s true. You can say it.

Carly: I’ve had these moments in my career where I feel like I’m ahead of everyone else with what I’m doing and then that gets lost once that thing blows up.

Drew: I mean, you were making promos for Drag Race in season four. The idea of being at the first DragCon… You’re not old! Everything has been changing in queer media so quickly. Especially when it comes to drag stuff to the point where we’re now at the backlash, being legislated against phase. Everything is happening so quickly.

Carly: It’s whiplash.

Drew: Yeah it’s crazy. So the fact that you can be like, I was here at the ground floor of these institutions and it’s—

Carly: It feels very get off my lawn.

Drew: But it was so recent!

Carly: (laughs) You’re right it wasn’t that long ago.

Drew: No, so if you feel embarrassed to say it, I’ll say it. You have been at the forefront of queer media in a lot of ways.

Carly: I’m cringing.

Drew: You’re not saying it. I’m saying it.

Carly: And also I know that it’s…

Drew: It’s true.

Carly: It’s true.

Drew: And also it is exciting to see things like Monét’s Slumber Party and Syd + TP and feel like this is so you. It’s not those features getting made and that’s frustrating but it’s still amazing work that exists. And I do think the other stuff will follow. But yeah if Suicide Kale had come out in 2021, you would’ve gotten to direct your Bottoms. (laughs)

Carly: (laughs) I’d be offered Jurassic Park. Carly, you did such a good job with this movie you made for $1,000, here are the keys to Jurassic Park.

Drew: I mean, they were letting straight men do that. When you made Suicide Kale, you were right after the early 2010’s when the straight people who did that actually did get those deals.

Carly: They truly did. The guys who had success with low-budget indies were legitimately handed the keys to huge studio franchises.

Drew: Yeah but a lot of that work isn’t good. Like I have faith that when your features get made they’ll actually be good. I think you have to be a little honest with yourself that no you weren’t handed the keys to Jurassic Park but if you had wanted to make different choices you could’ve sold out and done bigger work that wasn’t good. But instead your work has been consistently good and consistently queer and if anything is getting gayer and gayer. So when you get the keys not to Jurassic Park — though imagine gay dinosaurs what a gift — but those features get made they’re going to be done on your terms and on the terms of your collaborators and your collaborators will be great and it will have been worth the wait.

I feel very optimistic about you even if I feel less optimistic about the world at large and Hollywood at large. But I feel very confident about your future. You’re gonna do great things, kid.

Carly: Oh Drew. Ay ay ay. Thank you for saying that. It means so much coming from you, because you have impeccable taste.

Drew: Thank you.

Carly: And are just a visionary yourself.

Drew: Well, hopefully our body swap movie can get made.

Carly: It’s gonna be so great when it comes out in 2037.


Monét’s Slumber Party is now streaming on Dropout TV.

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

Join AF+!

Drew Burnett Gregory

Drew is a Brooklyn-based writer, filmmaker, and theatremaker. She is a Senior Editor at Autostraddle with a focus in film and television, sex and dating, and politics. Her writing can also be found at Bright Wall/Dark Room, Cosmopolitan UK, Refinery29, Into, them, and Knock LA. She was a 2022 Outfest Screenwriting Lab Notable Writer and a 2023 Lambda Literary Screenwriting Fellow. She is currently working on a million film and TV projects mostly about queer trans women. Find her on Twitter and Instagram.

Drew Burnett has written 570 articles for us.

2 Comments

  1. So glad we’re finally getting discussion of Dropout shows on AS. In a time when queer content is being removed left and right from streaming platforms, Dropout is centering queer voices in a way that few other platforms are.

  2. Such a fun interview! It was really cool to learn about the through-line from Carly’s past work to Monet’s Slumber Party! the first episode was delightful and weird and I’m really looking forward to the rest

    Also another plug for Dropout here: the quality of the content is fantastic, and the way their model seems to genuinely center the people making it as people and artists and professionals is really meaningful especially in ~the current landscape~. And it’s queer as hell, in a way that’s somehow both casual and overt? like ‘there’s queer people everywhere and they bring that queerness in different ways and that’s just how things are.’ anyway, dropout good.

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5 Lesbian Couples Competing at the 2024 Paris Olympics

Of the over 150 queer women and non-binary people competing in the Paris Olympic games this year, a whopping 48 of them are in confirmed relationships with other athletes — often current or former teammates, sometimes people doing entirely different sports. Amongst those 48, there are five couples who are going to the Olympics together, and another seven athletes who are currently dating or married to former Olympians.

There were almost more! Beloved couple Meg Jones and Celia Quansah, two of Britain’s brightest rugby stars, competed together in Tokyo and hoped to return to Paris for a medal — but after a major knee injury last year, Celia didn’t make the team, but she’ll be there to cheer Meg on. Anne Veenendaal is competing on the Dutch Field Hockey team, but her girlfriend of five years, Ayeisha McFerran, was on the Irish Field Hockey team that didn’t make the Olympics. A similar fate befell both Ellie Carpenter and her fiancee Danielle Van De Donk — Ellie is going to the Olympics for Australia, but Danielle’s Dutch team didn’t make it.


Anneli Maley and Marena Whittle (3×3 Basketball, Australia)

UTSUNOMIYA, JAPAN - MAY 05: Marena Whittle #21 and Anneli Maley #24 of Australia celebrates the victory after the Women’s Final match between Australia and Canada on day three of the FIBA 3x3 Olympic Qualifying Tournament 2 at Light Cube Utsunomiya on May 05, 2024 in Utsunomiya, Tochigi, Japan. (Photo by Takashi Aoyama/Getty Images)

(Photo by Takashi Aoyama/Getty Images)

Anneli Maley and Marena Whittle have been partners for five years and together, they comprise half of Australia’s first 3×3 basketball Olympic team. “It’s obviously about basketball,” Maley told the Courier and Mail, “but how cool is it that we get to be that example for the younger girls and boys who get to see that representation on an Olympic stage. Some young ones may be afraid to stay something so hopefully seeing us at the Olympics can put them at ease and help in some way.”


Anne Buijs (Volleyball, Netherlands) and Ana Carolina Da Silva (Volleyball, Brazil)

APELDOORN, NETHERLANDS - OCTOBER 13: Ana Carolina Da Silva of Brazil is congratulated by her girlfriend Anne Buijs of the Netherlands during the Semi Final match between Italy and Brazil on Day 19 of the FIVB Volleyball Womens World Championship 2022 at the Omnisport Apeldoorn on October 13, 2022 in Apeldoorn, Netherlands (Photo by Rene Nijhuis/Orange Pictures/BSR Agency/Getty Images)

Photo by Rene Nijhuis/Orange Pictures/BSR Agency/Getty Images

Prior to Paris 2024, the Dutch women’s volleyball team had only played in three Olympic games (1992, 1996 and 2016). They’re going into the 2024 games ranking eighth overall globally, and Anne Buijs, who has played with the National team since 2008, is on the roster. She’s married to Ana Carolina da Silva, who made her Olympic debut with Brazil’s volleyball team in 2020. They are a very cute couple!


Charlotte Englebert and Emma Puvrez (Field Hockey, Belgium)

26-year-old Emma Puvrez and 23-year old Charlotte Englebert, whose relationship goes back to at least 2019 on instagram, are both first-time Olympians competing in Paris for the Belgian national Field Hockey team. It’s actually only the second year that Belgium qualified for the women’s hockey tournament at an Olympic Games (the first was at London in 2012).


Ana Carolina Azevedo (Boxing, Brazil) and Beatriz Ferreira (Track, Brazil)

Brazillian boxer Beatriz Ferreira, the eldest of three daughters of champion boxer Raimundo Ferreira, won silver in the Women’s Lightweight event at the 2020 Tokoyo Olympics. Sprinter Ana Carolina Azevedo, named Best Female Athlete by the Brazilian Athletics Confederation in 2020, competed in Tokyo Olympics as well. Now they’re both heading to Paris.


Lea Schuller (Football, Germany) and Lara Vadlau (Sailing, Austria)

26-year-old Lea Schuller will be playing forward for Germany’s women’s football team, her first trip to the Olympics. Her girlfriend, 30-year-old Austrian sport sailor and doctor Lara Vadlau, competed in the 2012 and 2016 Olympics, but didn’t medal. She posted on instagram last week that returning to the games would be “the biggest challenge in the last 8 years.” She added: “I am one hell of a lucky girl to even get the chance to be part of this challenge and to live life to the fullest!” As elite athletes, the pair is only able to snatch a few days together here and there despite living together in Munich, so both are stoked for the opportunity not only to compete, but also to be in the same place at the same time.

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Riese

Riese is the 41-year-old Co-Founder of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, video-maker, LGBTQ+ Marketing consultant and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and now lives in Los Angeles. Her work has appeared in nine books, magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. She's Jewish and has a cute dog named Carol. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

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6 Comments

    • i know! it’s wild because literally *half* of the soccer players going to the olympics are dating other soccer players but none of them are dating soccer players who are also going to the olympics.

  1. Looks like there was some kind of editing glitch in the first example. It’s promoting fomo because I can’t figure out what it was supposed to say…

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Which of These Books Are Better Than the Lesbian Movies Based on Them?

Plenty of queer or queer-ish books have been adapted into films through the years (though not enough if you ask me), and some of them are better than the movies they inspired. Some of them are equally as good as their film adaptations and perhaps offer something a bit different. I’ve compiled a list of queer book-to-film adaptations in case you’re looking for your next read or your next movie night pick. A note: Books that have been adapted into a series are not included on this list. Also, you’re encouraged to chime in in the comments about whether you think the book or movie is better, because we’re not the absolute authority here and people approach/evaluate adaptations differently! Tell me your thoughts!


Rebecca by Daphne Du Maurier / Rebecca (1940) and Rebecca (2020)

Both the original novel and the 1940 film are classics for a reason! And then there’s the 2020 film, which…no!


The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson / The Haunting (1963) and The Haunting (1999)

An all-time banger book and an all-time banger film —the first one at least. While I do love a lot of the campy fun in the 1999 version (and Catherine Zeta-Hones is SO hot in it), the 1963 adaptation of The Haunting of Hill House reigns supreme as far as film adaptations of Shirley Jackson novels go.


The Fox by D. H. Lawrence / The Fox (1967)

I have not been able to get my hands on this slim novella by D.H. Lawrence of Women in Love and Lady Chatterley’s Lover fame, and now I am consumed with an obsession to read it! The film is one of the first on-screen depictions of a queer women couple on screen and is strikingly complex in its contemplations of gender and sexuality for 1967, much like Lawrence’s work was often ahead of its time on the same subjects. Adapting a novella is so slay (I say, as someone who has written and published a novella. Call me, Hollywood!)


Thérèse and Isabelle by Violette Leduc / Thérèse and Isabelle (1968)

While the erotic novel finally got a reprint thanks to my favs over at Feminist Press, the film version of Thérèse and Isabelle is more difficult to find (this usually goes the other way when it comes to lesbian books/movies!). Both are fantastic and hot and head of their time, equally!


Desert of the Heart by Jane Rule / Desert Hearts (1985)

The 1964 novel shares a lot of the same strengths with its feature film adaptation, one of the best movies of all time. Both are imbued with sensuality and a fully realized queer relationship that feels ahead of its time both for 60s literature and 80s film. I’m calling this one a tie.


The Color Purple by Alice Walker / The Color Purple (1985) and The Color Purple (2023)

I mean, Alice Walker’s The Color Purple is simply one of the greatest novels ever, so on-screen adaptations have ginormous shoes to fill. The book ultimately wins here. The first and only Pulitzer Prize winning novel to feature a queer Black protagonist, it has stood the test of time. Its film adaptations, while having many merits including their performances, fall short in terms of portraying queerness with the same depth and specificity of the novel.


Orlando: A Biography by Virginia Woolf / Orlando (1992) and Orlando, My Political Biography (2023)

Adapted many times for the stage and as opera, Virginia Woolf’s novel Orlando gets told over and over again, and for good reason: The book fucking rules. There’s of course the iconic Tilda Swinton-starring film adaptation from the 90s, but more recently, Paul B. Preciado made the genre-bending film Orlando, My Political Biography, not exactly a straight (lol) adaptation but an evolution of the work that is direct about Orlando‘s inherent transness.


Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe by Fannie Flagg / Fried Green Tomatoes (1991)

The book is more explicitly gay than the movie, but my perhaps controversial opinion is that it’s kind of a tossup as to which of the two is better.


Foxfire: Confessions of a Girl Gang by Joyce Carol Oates / Foxfire (1996)

You’re either a Joyce Carol Oates reader or you’re not, but if you are, Foxfire is a must-read. It’s different in many ways from than the movie for sure —for starters, the novel is set in upstate New York in the 1950s, and the film is set in the Pacific Northwest in the 1990s. I’d call the film more of a loose adaptation. But the novel is worth checking out if JCO’s dark, intense style is your vibe.


The Wives of Bath by Susan Swan / Lost and Delirious (2001)

This 1993 novel is based on the author’s own experiences at an all-girls college, and though I have yet to read it, I am immediately intrigued and will be rectifying that ASAP. It sounds like it could have the potential to be…better than the film? And I say that as someone who actually loves this movie. So if you have intel on the novel, let me know.


The Hours by Michael Cunningham / The Hours (2002)

They’re both perfect!!!!!! No notes!!!! No really, I have already written extensively about my love for both the novel and the film The Hours. They are distinct works from one another, but they share many of the same strengths. I mean, the novel literally won the Pulitzer (and I love Chicago, but The Hours should have won the Oscar in my extremely biased opinion).


What Was She Thinking? Notes on a Scandal by Zoë Heller / Notes on a Scandal (2006)

This book and film are equally disturbingand both mordantly humorous at times. It has been a while since I read the book so I would need to revisit, but my initial instinct is that the film is better.


I Can’t Think Straight by Shamim Sarif / I Can’t Think Straight (2008)

I think we’re long overdue for a cultural reconsideration of I Can’t Think Straight the movie, a film often maligned for being a corny rom-com. But not only does it deliver on romance, it also contains critiques of Israel’s occupation of Palestine. Like the film though, the book is lukewarm in these critiques.


The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson / The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo (2009) and The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo (2011)

You’re likely familiar with both the novel and the 2011 David Fincher-directed versions of Lisbeth Salander’s story, but in 2009 there was also a Swedish-language film adaptation of the book starring Noomi Rapace (and then subsequently Swedish versions of the full trilogy like the American film franchise), and a lot of people prefer the Swedish iterations.


Farewell, My Queen by Chantal Thomas / Farewell, My Queen (2012)

I hear from the historical fiction heads in my life that the 2002 novel is quite good! Gay Marie Antoinette! (I always wish this movie were better than it is, but the performances are solid.)


Blue Is the Warmest Color by Julie Maroh / Blue Is the Warmest Color (2013)

If you hated the film Blue Is the Warmest Color (I did not, but I understand why people did), it’s extremely possible you will actually enjoy the graphic novel upon which it’s based!


Valencia by Michelle Tea / Valencia (2013)

Michelle Tea’s iconic lesbian autobiographical novel has an honestly equally iconic arthouse film adaptation in which 21 different queer directors each took on one of the book’s 21 chapters, including Cheryl Dunye, Joey Soloway, and more. If you haven’t read the book, do it! If you haven’t seen the film, do it! They’re both great examples of queer art that actually takes risks and go against both mainstream publishing and film.


The Price of Salt by Patricia Highsmith / Carol (2015)

Don’t make me choose between The Price of Salt and Carol, because I simply cannot! Both the book and film are so fucking good and also just represent great adaptation work in the sense that they’re quite different while still maintaining the same general story and also evoking the same moods, emotions, and themes.


Fingersmith by Sarah Waters / The Handmaiden (2016)

The Handmaiden is a masterclass in adaptation, taking the original Victorian-era Britain setting of the Sarah Waters crime thriller Fingersmith and transposing it to Japanese-occupied Korea. It’s a resplendent example of how adaptation can (and should, in my opinion) shift and reimagine while still maintaining the same themes, moods, and general story beats as the original work. Fingersmith is a great novel and totally worth reading if you haven’t, but it’s impossible to really compare the quality of these works when they’re ultimately so different and still so tethered (though I will say, The Handmaiden is one of my favorite films, and Fingersmith isn’t even my favorite Sarah Waters novel).


Half in Love and Both Ways Is the Only Way I Want It by Maile Meloy / Certain Women (2016)

I love that the triptych of stories in Certain Women are based on short stories! More short stories should be adapted to film! Maile Meloy’s short fiction is usually set in the American West and portrays complicated female characters, so if that’s your jam, you’ll find much to love.


Disobedience by Naomi Alderman / Disobedience (2017)

I’m partial to the sex scenes in the film over the book, as they are much more specific and erotic than anything we get in the book, which is an ever quieter and slower slow-burn.


Carmilla by Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu / The Carmilla Movie (2017) and Carmilla (2019)

I mean, listen, the odds are kind of stacked against any attempts to adapt one of the greatest vampire novels ever written. And while the modern film representations of Carmilla’s story get to be more explicitly queer than the original, it’s just impossible to compete with such a profoundly influential piece of literature.


Annihilation by Jeff VanderMeer / Annihilation (2018)

Though vastly different from the movie, the first novel in Jeff VanderMeer’s Southern Reach series is brilliant and a must-read for sci-fi horror fans. The first book isn’t as explicitly queer as the film —there’s a lot of intentional distance between the reader and the characters —but the full series does feature queer perspectives, especially the third book. If Annihilation the movie unsettled you, the book will do so ten times over.


The Miseducation of Cameron Post by Emily M. Danforth / The Miseducation of Cameron Post (2018)

I prefer the Desiree Akhavan-directed film, and my coworker Drew Burnett Gregory prefers the book. I think that’s simply a testament to the fact that both are very good!


Can You Ever Forgive Me?: Memoirs of a Literary Forger by Lee Israel / Can You Ever Forgive Me? (2018)

Listen, if you’re drawn to the unlikeability of Melissa McCarthy’s filmic portrayal of Lee Israel, buckle up to read Lee Israel herself. It’s funny, brash, and a thrill of a read.


A Simple Favor by Darcey Bell / A Simple Favor (2018)

Given my love for this film, the book is…disappointing. Maybe you’ll like it more if somewhat rote thrillers are your jam. The queer subtext is not really giving in the book though, so do with that information what you will!


Adam by Ariel Schrag / Adam (2019)

It will perhaps not shock you that this controversial and divisive film is based upon a controversial and divisive book. But the vitriol surrounding Adam often obscures the things both the book and film do do well.


Let It Snow: Three Holiday Romances by Maureen Johnson, John Green, and Lauren Myracle / Let it Snow (2019)

Here we have an instance of the film adaptation injecting a queer storyline that isn’t present in the book version. I do love when adaptations do this! However, it means I’m less interested in the book.


Fear Street book series by R. L. Stine / Fear Street film series (2021)

Here we have another instance of the film adaptation adding a queer storyline where there was none in the original source material. The trilogy of Fear Street films by Netflix are loose adaptations of the popular horror book series by R.L. Stine, borrowing tropes, vibes, and aesthetics from the books rather than perfectly adapting them. The books offer nostalgic fun though, even if they’re not explicitly queer.


How To Blow Up a Pipeline by Andreas Malm / How To Blow Up a Pipeline (2022)

This is less of a direct adaptation as the original book is a work of nonfiction and the film is narrative (and the best queer Christmas movie), but Daniel Goldhaber’s brilliant movie pulls significantly from the ideas put forth by Malm’s climate activism manifesto. Both the book and the movie are urgent and essential contemplations of the current state of climate crisis we’re in and what it will truly take to curb it and survive.


Find a Way: The Inspiring Story of One Woman’s Pursuit of a Lifelong Dream by Diana Nyad / Nyad (2023)

This striking sports film was preceded by a striking sports memoir by Nyad herself. And if sports memoirs are your thing, you should definitely check it out.


Poor Things by Alasdair Gray / Poor Things (2023)

I haven’t read the 1992 novel — whose full title is Poor Things: Episodes from the Early Life of Archibald McCandless M.D., Scottish Public Health Officer —but boy do I want to! I’m always interested in adaptations that do things in their new medium that aren’t possible in the original work, and since the film is so visually immersive, I’d be curious how the story works when that’s stripped away. My minimal research indicates there might not be any queer sex in the novel, but I’m still intrigued.

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Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya is the managing editor of Autostraddle and a lesbian writer of essays, short stories, and pop culture criticism living in Orlando. She is the assistant managing editor of TriQuarterly, and her short stories appear or are forthcoming in McSweeney's Quarterly Concern, Joyland, Catapult, The Offing, and more. Some of her pop culture writing can be found at The A.V. Club, Vulture, The Cut, and others. You can follow her on Twitter or Instagram and learn more about her work on her website.

Kayla has written 871 articles for us.

20 Comments

  1. I am only listing those that I have both seen and read. Some of the others on the list I saw just the movie so I didn’t include them.

    Rebecca: book
    The Haunting of Hill House: book
    The Color Purple: book
    Orlando: book
    The Hours: movie
    The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo: can I pick neither? lol
    Blue is the Warmest Color: book
    Valencia: movie
    The Price of Salt/Carol: book
    Fingersmith: book (I hate the changes to the plot the movie made so much)
    Carmilla: book

    • That’s an interesting list! I agree, adaptations can sometimes be disappointing. For those looking to explore more transformative and impactful reads, Christian book publishers often offer a range of inspiring literature that delves deeply into themes of personal growth and faith.

  2. There is a BBC adaptation of Fingersmith starring Sally Hawkins that never gets mentioned. It’s certainly closer to the book than Handmaiden.

    • yes, i love that adaptation too! i didn’t include it since it was billed as a miniseries and as noted in my intro i wasn’t including series. for fear street, i made a different call since it was billed as three films rather than a limited/miniseries. stay tuned for a different post that specifically addresses book to queer tv/series adaptations :)

  3. I have a really hard time with the Cameron Post movie trying to create some sympathy for the aunt when in the book she just straight up thought she was doing the right thing and didn’t have any remorse for it. I’ve never understood why the movie felt the need to tweak that

  4. I’d put money on a bet that your favorite Sarah Waters novel is Affinity (as is mine).

    Also, seconding the plug for the BBC Fingersmith adaptation; Sally Hawkins is a revelation.

    Finally, what are your thoughts on the upcoming A Simple Favor sequel?

    • I love Affinity!! Just so good.
      I also (even though there are no lesbians) love The Little Stranger.

  5. I’m in the 1% of readers (apparently) who loved Adam. It brilliantly skewers a certain kind of highly educated social justice-y queer community where (mostly cis, mostly white) queer people collect marginalized partners as symbols of their own political morality where politics is about using the right language and fucking the right people rather than working for material change (which also happens to overlap with the type of person who likes to cancel books on twitter so I’m not surprised it has such a hated reputation.)

    (other reaction to this great list is that I want to reread Rebecca now as an adult!)

  6. Books are always better than the movies, they have more detail and require more of a reader than movies do a viewer.

    written by and for lesbians are rare, most are done by outside of the demographic

    which, self identity undermines

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No Filter: Sha’Carri Richardson Meeting Cardi B Is Basically the Bisexual Olympics

Hello and welcome back to No Filter! This is the place where I show you all the fun things that were posted by Celebrity Queers on IG! Fun, right? Let’s go!!


Sha'Carri Richardson and Cardi B

In a Reel that refuses to embed, track star Sha’Carri Richardson met Cardi B ahead of the Paris Olympics, and it’s very emotional! Cardi tears up! You probably will, too!


Okay so…whatever this wedding not wedding was, I love it and everyone looks hot!


Isn’t it strange that this kind of joke went from watered down Marvel jokes to now IG captions? Language is so thrilling.


These two are really boo’d up!


Keke you have a full child and like 75 jobs and still you can go out and party?? Such power!


Reading the words ISS took me right back to high school, wow.


Need someone to point in an airport? Jenna Lyons has you covered!


Well this is just showing off these gorgeous bookcases from two angles isn’t it?


Strangely we are not married yet? Hm.


Is it just me or does this kinda look like promo art for a new Ryan Murphy show?


THIS HAT!!!


This look is kinda bonkers but in the way I like?


Aubrey got so into All Star Weekend that she tore her ACL? Committed to the bit!!

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Christina Tucker

Christina Tucker is writer and podcaster living in Philadelphia. Find her on Twitter or Instagram!

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Katie Gavin’s Debut Solo Single Leaves an “Aftertaste” That Has Us Craving More

Time seemed to stop July 15 when Katie Gavin posted a sensual behind-the-scenes of a photoshoot, noticeably empty of her usual collaborators Naomi McPherson and Jo Maskin, “declaring w.a.r.” MUNA fans were thrown — what was this going to be? What did this mean for MUNA’s future? Where could I get the custom sea-green Katie Gavin comforter for myself?

Not long after this, Gavin announced to the world her solo debut single, “Aftertaste,” would be released on July 23. After reassuring lesbians everywhere this was not a dissolution of MUNA, excitement grew gargantuan for what Gavin’s solo sound would be.

Well, now we know. And friends, it tastes so good.

Gavin’s “Aftertaste” is not necessarily a drastic departure from MUNA, but it’s clearly of its own motivations and inspirations. The song’s soft 90s guitar and percussion is reminiscent of a long lineage of lesbian sound, such as the Indigo Girls, Ani DiFranco, and Sophie B. Hawkins: a marriage of folk and alt-rock that my girlfriend referred to as having “wandered off the stage at Lilith Fair.” The focus of the song is much less the production than the vocals and their lyrics, which strike in their simplicity. It’s not out of nowhere: MUNA’s “Kind Of Girl” and “Handle Me” follow a similar pattern of folk-pop hybrid, in which the display is a hushed reverence in Gavin’s baring vocals and quietly devastating lyrics.

“Aftertaste” allows Gavin an opportunity to truly show off her capable storytelling. In a way it brings my mind immediately to Ani DiFranco’s “Both Hands.” While horny synth-pop is the lesbian genre of today, Gavin finds herself in the shoes of its folksy, flower crown-wearing past. Stripped down (literally and figuratively), Gavin is demanding more with less, and recognizing the ancestry from which such a song sprouts. Gavin herself describes the forthcoming album as “Lilith Fair-core,” and in the footsteps of DiFranco, Alanis Morrisette, and Fiona Apple.

The accompanying music video, as well, is a delight. Gavin, true to the song’s declaration that “I feel naked / when you look my way,” is a nude art model, wryly covered by easels, paintbrushes, and sculptures at opportune moments with her hands coquettishly covering her breasts. Interlaced with these are her replicating works of art, such as laying naked atop fruit akin to Ingres’ La Grande Odalisque, or cutting her own hair inside a pink shell that beckons Botticelli’s The Birth of Venus. We get glimpses of the students’ studies of Gavin’s form, too.

“Aftertaste” exists the way imagining a chance meeting with an ex does: dreamlike, ethereal, simultaneously aware of the fantasy and indulgent in it. What would they say, and how would they say it? There’s a beautiful haze to such fantasies, even as the fantasizer recognizes the flaws in the dream, the plot holes of the imagination that do not align with reality. All this together calls forth an idea of perception, that Gavin recognizes herself as the object of the art, and all the ways that object can be perceived. Gavin’s nude body held together by a fan is as real as the Gavin beneath the flowing white sheet, staring into the camera as if it is her lover. We see Gavin trying on a variety of appearances, in the way we do with ourselves in our fantasies: imagining what we may look like to the lover, what we want them to see when they see us, what we hope they are still looking for even after all this time.

Gavin is a fierce presence — for example, while I was eating lunch and rewatching the video, I kept getting nervous about food in my teeth when her gaze pierced the camera. I don’t just mean Gavin is beautiful (though she is); I mean she commands attention in some powerful, alien manner. By the end of the video, the nude Gavin holds her guitar against her frame in an empty room, playing and singing the song’s end. This vulnerability is stark and, for me at least, feels new. Not that MUNA does not engage with vulnerability in their music — but in this solo debut, there is something unseen of Gavin up to now that feels like it is slowly being peeled back, like a gorgeous fruit.

As a huge fan of the lesbian musicians of yore, I am beyond excited to see this turn from Gavin. Her debut album What A Relief (which includes a Mitski feature, and is being released on Phoebe Bridgers’ Saddest Factory Records) comes out October 25, with a late-November/early-December tour planned. In the meantime, Gavin is performing at multiple festivals: Rhode Island’s Newport Folk Festival on July 27, and Illinois’ Evanston Folk Festival on September 7.

I think I speak for so many of us when I say we are gathering our granola, charging our crystals, and awaiting the chance to set this record to vinyl.

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Gabrielle Grace Hogan

Gabrielle Grace Hogan (she/her) received her MFA from the University of Texas at Austin. Her poetry has been published by TriQuarterly, CutBank, Salt Hill, and others, and has been supported by the James A. Michener Fellowship and the Ragdale Foundation. In the past, she has served as Poetry Editor of Bat City Review, and as Co-Founder/Co-Editor of You Flower / You Feast, an anthology of work inspired by Harry Styles. She lives in Austin, Texas. You can find her on Instagram @gabriellegracehogan, her website www.gabriellegracehogan.com, or wandering a gay bar looking lost.

Gabrielle has written 15 articles for us.

Is ‘Longlegs’ Homophobic? That’s the Wrong Question

I did not like Longlegs. Autostraddle team writer Stef Rubino did. I love when this happens — when I have a different experience of a movie from someone whose opinions I respect. I knew I wanted to talk to Stef about the movie, but when we both realized the way people were discussing this particularly film felt off, we decided to make that discussion more formal.

The big question among queer people seems to be: Is Longlegs homophobic or transphobic? One thing Stef and I agree on is that’s the wrong question.


Drew:: So we’re here today to talk about the movie Longlegs. Specifically to talk about how some queer people have said the movie is homophobic or transphobic and others have said it definitely is not. And we feel like that’s not really the right question.

Stef: Yes, I think that question is very boring.

Drew: But before we get into that, we had pretty different experiences of the movie just as a movie. So I’d love to start there. How did you feel about Longlegs as a film?

Stef: Ok, so, I didn’t think it was the best horror movie ever, but that’s mostly because I’m not sure it was meant to be a horror film. I know the marketing and Oz Perkins himself have been touting it as the scariest movie ever made, but I feel like it’s all very tongue-in-cheek. A close friend of mine and I saw it together and we both walked out thinking it was a dark comedy

I think the performances were great, but I found it interesting how the characters weren’t really three dimensional. They were just kind of flat, which I think helped the humor and absurdity of it all quite a bit, but it’s hard to tell if that was intentional or not.

What did you think?

Drew: Right, I think either it’s a terribly written mash-up of better work or it’s explicitly commenting on that other work. I’m inclined to think it’s the latter. As Samantha Allen points out in this piece, Oz Perkins of all people is aware of the horror genre broadly and, specifically, the horror genre in how it relates to queer-coded killers. Personally, I just don’t think the tonal and thematic balancing act really works. I like the idea of sort of blowing up Silence of the Lambs and its copy cats (along with various Satan horror) to tell a story about family secrecy and complicity both within family and within law enforcement. But do I think Longlegs achieves that? My feeling was no…

Stef: Yes, he is clearly very aware of the horror genre broadly, especially in regards to trends within the genre. If we take Longlegs piece by piece, we can see all of the elements that have been popular in horror over the last 25+ years: the police procedural, a connection to the afterlife/Satan, possession, and, shit, even haunted dolls/objects. It’s a mash up, for sure, and one that isn’t very smooth, but I’m not sure it’s supposed to be. I think we’re supposed to find it funny. Not necessarily “funny haha” but funny as in, we’re living in an absurd time where people are driven to the most absurd behaviors.

Drew: Yeah even though it didn’t work for me, I think that’s the most interesting framing to look at and discuss the film.

Stef: As far as achieving that message about family secrecy specifically, he doesn’t nail it as much as I’d like. The threads are there and if you’re critically literate enough (which I try to be optimistic about how many of us are), you can put that together. I don’t think that part is a rousing success, but again, it makes me wonder if that’s what we’re really supposed to be getting from the film. Or if we’re supposed to feel like it’s a critique on us and our consumption of these kinds of stories (which I’m growing more inclined to believe).

Drew: That’s interesting. What aspects of it make you feel like it’s meant to be a critique of our consumption of these stories?

Stef: All of those elements being thrown together in this way that isn’t totally graceful, plus the marketing of the film and Oz Perkins’ press tour overall, and the fact that the ending was so predictable…it feels as if there’s something going on in terms of getting it thrown in our faces and teasing us a little for our willingness to engage/entertain these kinds of stories.

Drew: That makes sense to me. It also does feel pointed that Longlegs dies two thirds of the way through and the deeper evil is Satan (who we do not see) and therefore is more of an aura. Also that the main FBI agent is a psychic but doesn’t realize the major culprit of her case is her own mother. Like I’m sorry that has to be on purpose. It’s too silly otherwise.

Stef: Hahaha, exactly! I kind of felt like Perkins was playing with us before but in those moments, specifically, I was thinking “Oh he’s totally fucking with us.” But I never thought it was for nothing. It is very clunky, but I’m under the impression that he’s trying to turn the “family trauma” horror film on its head a little bit. That’s become such HOT currency in the horror world lately, and I think he’s using it to his advantage and making a joke of it. Maybe that’s just my personal bias…but I feel and understand an approach to tragedy that highlights the absolute ridiculousness of tragedy rather than just the sadness of it. So many things in our lives are devastating but many moments within that devastation are also incredibly funny.

Drew: It’s interesting that his personal family tragedy is intrinsically tied to the history of queer-coded killers on-screen. If there’s any cishet man who I’m fine to see play with that trope it’s him.

Stef: Absolutely. He understands both the tragic nature of that and the irony of it much more intimately than almost anyone.

Drew: And to get to that… I do think it’s undeniable that Longlegs is queer-coded based on comments by Nicolas Cage and the production team as well as what’s on-screen. I’ve seen people, in response to accusations of homophobia, insist that Longlegs isn’t queer-coded. And I find that frustrating. Because he can be queer-coded and the movie can still be good or not offensive or whatever. (Also it’s a spectrum — art is not good or not good, offensive or not offensive.) I think there’s so much room to play with this trope. I mean, I made a short film where Buffalo Bill and Norman Bates fuck (coming soon!) so obviously I think that. And while I wish more trans women were getting the opportunity to play with the trope on this large a scale, again, if any cishet man has my blessing it’s Perkins.

A male character who is a killer and has a grimy lair and has a lot of plastic surgery and speaks in a high-pitched voice and has long hair and is meant to be androgynous is inherently queer-coded and in conversation with Silence of the Lambs especially, and this trope more broadly. I’m kind of confused about that being a debate at all. To me, it feels born from people feeling like to admit that is to inherently criticize the movie.

Both Psycho and Silence of the Lambs go out of their way to note their killers aren’t really transvestites or transsexuals. And yet they’re the two most famous and influential examples of the trope. Longlegs doesn’t need to wave a pride flag and take a shot of estrogen to be queer-coded.

Stef: Hahaha, ok but now I’m imagining him doing so and laughing.

Drew: Longlegs is the new Babadook you heard it here first!

Stef: It’s so funny because before I saw those comments from Cage and Perkins, in my mind, Longlegs was definitely “effeminate” but I didn’t immediately go towards androgynous or queer-coded. That came after I started seeing everyone talking about it online, then it hit me like “Oh yeah, there’s that connection between these other horror villains.” Watching the movie, though, I was just thinking ok, he’s this guy who grew up in the hey-day of glam rock and then got wrapped up in Satanic shit, probably because of the crowd he was running with or whatever at the time.

Drew: But isn’t glam rock inherently queer-coded? Maybe that broad a statement will get me in trouble.

But it feels like a choice to have your Satanist obsessed with glam rock!

Stef: I’m super on the fence about that.

Drew: I think whether or not every glam rocker is queer, they are using gender-nonconformity to signal an otherness and that is read as queer by mainstream culture.

Stef: Yes, to a certain extent, I think that’s true, but I go back and forth. I’m a big fan of glam rock, T. Rex specifically (who was used a lot in the film), and definitely, it was one of the things that helped me come into my own queerness. But I still think it’s hard to say if it fully is queer/queer-coded or not. Certainly, they were taking aesthetics from women and queer people and using it to their advantage. And then, their maleness is still asserted through their music. We can read that as queer-coded, I think that’s fair, but it always felt more to me like “I can use these aesthetics because at the end of the day, I’m still a ‘straight’ ass MAN and no one can really challenge me on that” as opposed to “I’m going to play with this aesthetic because I’m drawn to it and I am who I am”

Drew: Yeah that’s fair. If anything I’d say they can get away with expressing queerness without facing the same consequences but it is still an expression of queerness.

I also think it’s interesting in the context of who someone is vs. how they are perceived. Because I think this ties back to Longlegs as homophobic. I do think many will watch this movie and just be scared by Satan and scared by androgynous Longlegs and be rooting for the FBI. I do not think most audiences will be reflecting on Oz Perkins as the son of Anthony Perkins and what the film is unpacking about the history of queer villains and all the other things we’re talking about.

But does that matter? I’ve really shifted on this over the years. It’s not that I don’t think media influences people. Silence of the Lambs deeply affected me. I just feel less inclined to get upset over a single movie. I think it’s more about trends and about the culture more broadly. Silence of the Lambs hurt me so much because I hadn’t seen any other trans or trans-coded bodies on-screen at that point.

I would rather have work that’s interesting and challenging than work that is afraid of being misinterpreted. That doesn’t mean artists shouldn’t be aware and thoughtful of the culture in which they’re creating. But I don’t think that should stop artists from taking risks and making interesting choices and playing with these ideas and images.

Again, I just wish more trans artists got the same budgets, because Perkins’ personal connection aside, we do have sharper takes…

Stef: I mean, yes, I’m with you entirely on all of this. I don’t think people are going to be reflecting on Oz Perkins’ thoughts about his father and mother, specifically, and what Longlegs is doing to kind of unpack all of that personal and cinematic baggage. But to walk away from it wondering if it’s homophobic feels like something completely misfired for that person watching

And I’m not trying to be mean. But I’m just wondering about all of the tropes and stereotypes swirling in that person’s head that made them come to that conclusion.

Drew: I’m not sure I agree! Because those tropes and stereotypes do exist. Whether or not the individual asking those questions believes them or not, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to know that other people will bring that baggage to the film. I’m just not sure it matters.

Stef: Yes, I’m not refuting that at all. I’m just wondering about the part where they’re immediately jumping to that conclusion. Like the mental processes of that.

And then I also wonder like, do people think it’s impossible for queer and trans people to be utterly awful human beings? Because let’s say Longlegs IS queer and androgynous…what would be the issue with that? Even if that were true and the portrayal is the way it is, there’s not a moment in there where it seems like Perkins is making a broad statement about whether or not queer and trans people are inherently good or bad.

Drew: I agree with you on that. But I do think there’s a difference between someone even like Norman Bates who gets real character development vs. Longlegs who is more of a specter.

Despite the trope starting with Hitchcock (either Psycho or Murder! from 1930), most copycats fail to capture the depth of humanity that Hitchcock always gave his queer villains.

Stef: That I do agree with, yes.

There is a huge difference between a Norman Bates and a Buffalo Bill.

Drew: A lot of the best queer horror — whether reclaimed by queers or intentionally queer — has queer people as the villains. But I do think the best of that work grants a personhood (or monstrous variant on personhood) that makes it feel different from the work that’s harder to stomach.

Longlegs does not grant personhood to Longlegs but, as discussed, I do think it’s at least playing with the trope rather than presenting it in a straight-forward manner.

Stef: I agree with that entirely. If we’re thinking about Silence of the Lambs as being THE biggest influence in the creation of Longlegs, then it makes sense to me that the model of taking away that humanity is being used here. I just think the model is being used for a completely different means (as we keep pointing out).

Drew: Absolutely.

Stef: And just to get to the very basic premise of this conversation, it feels exceptionally boring to ask, “Is this movie homophobic?” I’m not saying that movies and other media aren’t homophobic — they certainly are — but I’m always wondering like, what does that MEAN for us in the long run? And what does that mean for that piece of work?

Drew: Right. It suggests this idea that a work of art is either Good or Bad. Even if art is homophobic, I’m far more interested in discussing how and in what ways and what is it trying to do vs. what is it actually doing.

Stef: Exactly, me too. And maybe that’s just because I’m older now and I feel very comfortable in who I am and I’m overly confident in the communities of people around me. But it feels much more productive to discuss the processes that make it feel like the message is homophobia rather than the message itself. The message might be there or not, people might understand or not, people might act because of it or not, but what are we learning from that exactly? I don’t think very much.

Drew: Yeah it’s definitely a conclusion I’ve reached with age. I used to be far more concerned about a movie being Harmful. Now I’m like… well what’s harmful is when 90% of mainstream media suggests xyz about the police or the government or whatever. It’s not one work of art. It’s the stories we tell as a whole.

And when a work of art is at least doing something interesting with these tropes and ideas, diving into what it’s doing is more interesting than speaking in broad statements.

Stef: I totally agree. And I think the impact a film CAN have is at least partially dependent on the stories being told all around us all the time. Do I think the potential queerness of Longlegs is going to make some people all of a sudden think queer and trans people are out to get their families and children? It feels like that could only happen if they mostly believed that was true already because of everything going on the last few years.

Drew: Right. One horror movie is no longer going to be someone’s first and only introduction to androgyny.


Longlegs is now in theatres.

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Drew Burnett Gregory

Drew is a Brooklyn-based writer, filmmaker, and theatremaker. She is a Senior Editor at Autostraddle with a focus in film and television, sex and dating, and politics. Her writing can also be found at Bright Wall/Dark Room, Cosmopolitan UK, Refinery29, Into, them, and Knock LA. She was a 2022 Outfest Screenwriting Lab Notable Writer and a 2023 Lambda Literary Screenwriting Fellow. She is currently working on a million film and TV projects mostly about queer trans women. Find her on Twitter and Instagram.

Drew Burnett has written 570 articles for us.

Stef Rubino

Stef Rubino is a writer, community organizer, and student of abolition from Ft. Lauderdale, FL. They teach Literature and writing to high schoolers and to people who are currently incarcerated, and they’re the fat half of the arts and culture podcast Fat Guy, Jacked Guy. You can find them on Twitter (unfortunately).

Stef has written 97 articles for us.

6 Comments

  1. Loved this conversation! I have been ruminating on this question too, so I loved the chance to read y’all’s perspectives. It didn’t feel directly homophobic/transphobic to me, but rather, an attempt at being referential to villains like “Silence of the Lambs,” but without the more intricate understanding of why a villain like Buffalo Bill or Norman Bates is compelling. But maybe that’s just because I found a lot of issues with the story outside of just its queer-or-not-ness.

    Anyway. Loved reading this!

  2. Haven’t read the article but just wanted to complain that the thumbnail and title has kind of spoiler the big twist of the movie. It’s been built up the transformation Nicholas Cage had and the real reaction the lead had.
    I never would have guessed it had anything to do with this. So, for future please wait till people have a chance to see the movie. It’s only been out a week.

    • The bottom half of Longlegs’ face is revealed within the first five minutes of the movie.

      • The point is I haven’t seen the movie. I wouldn’t know that unless I saw the movie. Doesn’t matter if it’s 5 or 55 minutes because I’m not in a theatre and seeing the rest of the story.
        And in my original comment I included the title.
        Instead of going blank into an experience and discovering it for myself I see this. One of the big appeals is the mystery. You can share your opinion piece on a film or a tv show but it could have waited a week or had spoiler captions or a different image (like the poster). But you used this image to reinforce your point.
        I know I’m being detailed but this has happened on this site before. You should all know the power of subtext

  3. i think i fall somewhere between stef and drew on the longlegs opinion spectrum, tho slightly closer to stef. anyway, i loved this! it made me wanna rewatch the film and also i think you should both do these convos more often! i love the points at which you diverge!

  4. I haven’t seen it yet (UK) but this makes me much more interested to watch it! Also, I LOVE this format as a movie discussion and completely agree with the premise. Would love to see more discussions like this!

Comments are closed.

Trans Teen Pauly Likens’ Murder Haunts Her Rural Pennsylvania Community

This article contains graphic descriptions of violence against trans youth.

Pauly Likens was a 14-year-old trans girl. She had a core group of close friends, and she was seen by them, and loved by them and by her family. Pauly had a mother, a father, an older sister, and a 7-year-old younger brother. Pauly loved animals, including her two cats and her dog, Star, and she had ambitions of being a park ranger like her Aunt Liz, who she spent time with, shopping or getting her nails done.

“She wouldn’t let you be sad. She wouldn’t let you be down,” her friend, Melanie, told me. Pauly was kind and sweet, but also fiery and resilient: “There were people that she didn’t like, people that would talk crap on her, and she wouldn’t let it bother her.”

Pauly was light-hearted and creative, and made up words and phrases that her friend Kyrie, described as sticking with her. “She was the highlight of my day,” Kyrie, her BSF, told me. She was funny, she would hype her friends up and make them laugh, and she seems to have gotten up to some typical teenage mischief from time to time. She loved painting her nails and playing Roblox and Fortnite.

According to her Mom, Pauly was the kind of kid who would show the new kid around. Kyrie said of Pauly, “It was amazing being friends with her. She was so sweet and kind and never judged anyone no matter what. What made her special was how beautiful her soul was.”

On June 23rd this year, Pauly’s life and future were brutally and violently cut short when a 29-year-old man she met on the hookup app, Grindr, murdered her. The violence has shaken Pauly Likens’ community, and left her family and friends devastated.

On Saturday July 13, the Shenango Valley LGBTQ Alliance — a very small, grassroots group — organized a candlelight vigil and memorial for Pauly in cooperation with other LGBTQ groups from the area. An estimated 200-300 people turned out for the memorial, some traveling from Pittsburgh like myself, and many more from Pauly’s local community. People of all ages wore pink or the colors of the trans flag in Pauly’s honor. A large drawing of Pauly hung behind a central microphone, where multiple speakers called for an end to violence and discrimination against trans people, especially trans kids.

I spoke with Pam Ladner, President of the Shenango Valley LGBTQ Alliance, and she introduced me to some of Pauly’s friends. They were quiet, staying close with each other, young teens who lost their dear friend in a terrible way, squeezing each others’ shoulders and putting on brave faces. Kyrie and Pauly were hanging out, as they did often, sometimes four days a week, at Kyrie’s house the night before Pauly’s death. “She left at 9 and gave me a hug and said she loved me like she always did but I never thought it would be the last time. Never. She left a road sign here and before she left, I asked ‘are you gonna take your sign?’ And she said ‘prob not I’ll come back a diff day and get it.’ It makes me tear up knowing she was gonna come back. I really regret asking her what time she was leaving. If I knew it was going to be the last time, I would have never let her leave.” Kyrie also said, “I want everyone to know and understand Pauly and know her story and how she didn’t deserve this at all.”

Pauly lived out in Mercer County, Pennsylvania, just over an hour’s drive north of Pittsburgh, close to the Ohio border. The area is lush and green, with the Shenango river running through it. Mercer County is 93% white, with 62% of voters in 2020 voting Republican. Hermitage is the largest city in the county at a population of 16,000, with Sharon, PA, where Pauly lived, coming in at 13,000 residents. In short, it’s Trump country. More than that, Grove City College, located in the county, is a noted training ground for the US’s far right leaders. They recently had to fight off allegations that they had “gone woke” for engaging in what sounds like the most minimal DEI work. A parent’s quote from the petition against the college’s wokeness in 2022 mentions that their director of multicultural education was seen “walking around campus regularly with a LGBT rainbow mask on” and the parent went on to ask “why is this person an employee of GCC?” He’s, notably, not an employee of the college anymore, not after that year.

In any area in the US, there are going to be queer people, there are going to be allies, there are going to be people who don’t think about LGBTQ folks much but who are more or less neutral, and then there are going to be anti-LGBTQ hate-mongers. But this area is particularly tense. It’s not just any old Trump country. It’s a hotbed for anti-LGBTQ sentiment and for white supremacy and all that entails.

That’s where Pauly grew up. And what has been so damn hard to hear, the more I learn about Pauly, is how much she was still carving out a life and a future for herself, whatever she might be facing.

I spoke with Pam Ladner after the vigil about what it was like for kids like Pauly to be queer or trans in Mercer County, and Pam turned to her own experiences as a parent of a trans teen. After they came out “I wasn’t even speaking to some of my close family for months at a time, because they couldn’t get on board with it.”

As we spoke, a group that had formed outside of the vigil grew louder. Led by Pauly’s grieving father, a crowd of dissenters had played their own music throughout the vigil and chorused their own grief for Pauly, while misgendering and deadnaming her. At one point, a member of this group had to be escorted from the vigil for shouting Pauly’s dead name. Throughout the event, volunteers shielded the mother’s side of the family and vigil attendees from the protesters, using rainbow umbrellas, and escorted people to their vehicles, keeping the crowds separate. Pauly’s father paced up and down the street in a red pro-Trump hat, shouting that Pauly was his son, and telling vigil attendees that “not all kids fit your narrative.” Some vigil attendees reprimanded the protesters while they left, but, despite heightened tensions following the attempted assassination of Trump and shooting of rally attendees that occurred an hour to the east and south, these arguments did not escalate beyond brief verbal altercations.

Paul Likens Sr.’s insistence on misgendering his trans daughter might account for part of the confusion as media originally misgendered Pauly, as noted by Sue Kerr of Pittsburgh Lesbian Correspondents. There had also been two competing GoFundMe campaigns, one started by the father’s side, and one started to help Pauly’s mother pay for funeral expenses.

I asked Ladner what she saw as a barrier to acceptance for trans kids like Pauly, especially in more conservative, rural communities like this one, and in Mercer County specifically. Ladner emphasized the need for education, especially education geared toward parents and families, which she works to offer through the LGBTQ alliance. “Just from the mom’s standpoint, understanding that journey, and that journey that mom was probably on, having a trans child, and then not getting to complete that journey. You saw. She wasn’t even able to get there with that other parent…I hope that in the future if there is a parent who doesn’t understand, that they’ll give us an opportunity to help them understand and educate them and find their way to acceptance.” Pauly’s father was clearly stricken with grief. He lost his kid in a horrific way. He spent days searching for her in the park after she went missing. He might have gotten to a place of understanding, but we’ll never know because Pauly was robbed of her life. But her family life, the way trans people are talked about by conservative media and politicians, and the perceived and real isolation and vulnerability of trans people, especially young trans people, can’t be ignored when it comes to what happened to Pauly.

Pauly wasn’t completely isolated. She had friends who loved her, her family loved her. Her friends saw Pauly and embraced who she was. Kyrie told me, “This one time I was complaining to Pauly about my period and what she said I’ll never forget. She said ‘You complain about it but I’d do anything to have one because then I’d be a real girl,’ but she was a real girl.” Kyrie continued, “Pauly only wanted to be accepted for who she was.”

Still, with anti-trans hate speech and MAGA rhetoric, we continue to see young trans people, in their teens and early 20’s, suffer violent deaths at the hands of people who hate them, who see them as easy targets, or both. We know that Gen Z might be the loneliest and most isolated generation due to a variety of factors, from the economics that have led to the disappearance of third spaces, to social media, to the after effects of the pandemic, and more. We know that dating for transgender people can be difficult. We also know that underage teens, including and perhaps especially queer teens, are regularly using dating apps. These apps do not require age verification, though the technology exists where an app could require ID verification and facial scans to use an app like Grindr that comes with risk and adult sexual communication. According to this investigative piece, between 2015 and 2023, over 100 men were charged with assaulting minors or attempting to sexually assault minors they made contact with through Grindr. Even if this predation doesn’t culminate in the murder, predators are using dating apps like Grindr to find and assault or exploit vulnerable LGBTQ teens. A predator found Pauly, who likely just wanted some connection, and now we don’t have this amazing person with us anymore. Earlier this year, a young trans man, Jacob Williamson, was murdered by a man he met on a dating app and the man’s girlfriend.

Both of the above linked pieces discuss the fact that teens are going to get on these apps no matter what we tell them, which is true. Yes, it’s dangerous and in an ideal world every queer and trans teen who uses dating apps would delete them right now, but as someone who talked to older men on the internet when I was fourteen, who told my family I was sleeping at a friend’s when I wasn’t (as Pauly did that night), the onus is not on teens to be perfect as they learn about their world, their sexuality, and make mistakes while trying to figure things out. However, it is on us as a community to teach our young LGBTQ siblings how to stay safe, how to do their best to identify predators, to rely on their friends and trusted elders so that they’re never going somewhere alone, so that they avoid putting themselves in potentially dangerous scenarios. Whether we do this in our personal lives, via what we publish, or through sex education at schools or LGBTQ centers, we need to be having discussions about online safety, about safety and predators on dating apps.

Pauly’s body was discovered on June 25th, dismembered and in trash bags in a lake in the Golden Run Wildlife area. Cause of death has been determined to be sharp force trauma to her head. It appears that Pauly was killed in the early hours of the morning on June 23rd, not long after she posted to SnapChat that she was on a walk to clear her head in the park at 2:30am. Her friend, worried, contacted her to see if she was okay. A vehicle, allegedly owned by DaShawn Watkins, was identified from security camera footage and was seen driving in the park in the same area and time that Pauly was believed to be in the park according to both her social media post as well as footage from security cameras. Security camera footage showed Watkins struggling to carry a heavy duffel bag into his apartment, and on June 24th, after buying an electric saw the day before, security footage showed Watkins leaving his apartment several times with multiple trash bags and other bags. One can only grasp at straws, but this doesn’t feel like an accident, like an impassioned violent act. This is someone who already had a duffle bag, and who, we must remember, sought out someone on an app who was 14 — who looks 14 years old — and who met her sometime before sunrise but after 2:30am.

It’s likely impossible that anyone reading this can understand why anyone would do something like this, this violent, this seemingly random, but we need to recognize the constellation of factors that open the door to increased violence faced by trans people. DaShawn Watkins is a 29-year-old, cis man who allegedly met a 14-year-old trans girl on Grindr, confirmed that he engaged in a sexual act with her, and then allegedly killed her. When questioned, Watkins apparently said that he was gay. District Attorney Peter C. Acker told Pittsburgh’s Action 4 news that he would not pursue hate crime charges because Watkins was “openly gay” and Pauly “was transitioning.” There is a sense that because there is an element of intra-community violence within the LGBTQ community, that this cannot be a hate crime. But we know that some of the biggest voices of transphobic hate are people who identify as lesbian or gay. There is also the fact that the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania’s, and many other states’, legislation does not include LGBTQ identity or gender identity as a protected class when it comes to hate crimes. Pennsylvania’s current hate crime legislation only allows for hate crime charges on the basis of race, ethnicity, religion or national origin. Nevertheless, Pauly’s death, like the death of Jacob Williamson, seems like one that is a part of a trend, one targeting vulnerable trans teens. Jacob was brutally killed by a cis man, Joshua Newton, who said on a livestream, “it was fun.”

We know, also, that often the people who are most engaged in hate against trans people are those attracted to trans people, and who cannot extricate themselves from their shame around that attraction. Data shows that the more conservative a locality, the more likely its residents are to search for trans porn. And — as I know from on more than one occasion looking into the personal online history of a conservative — these men will continue to follow trans adult creators, all while spewing the most right-wing talking points. The history of the completely diabolical trans panic (and gay panic) defense illustrates, actually, how well-understood it is that men who feel attraction to trans people also do not desire to lose their heterosexual privilege, and feel shame — and that shame also means they do not value trans people or their lives or truly see trans people as people. All of this has coalesced in a rise of transgender hate and violence against trans people, both at a state level and in everyday life.

While the majority of transgender women murdered in recent years are Black women, trans people and especially trans women and girls as a whole are four times more likely than cis people to be victims of violence. On a micro level, we know that a lack of acceptance greatly increases a person’s risk when it comes to experiencing domestic and other types of violence, and that lack of acceptance has a direct impact on the fact that trans people are subjected to interpersonal violence and state violence. We also know that on a macro level, our society is obsessed with trans people, devaluing them, putting them in the spotlight, and shaming them and the people who care about them. UC Berkeley Associate Professor Eric Stanley put it this way in an article for Berkeley News in 2021:

“Most forms of anti-trans violence are specifically brutal. They’re also very corporal. Trans people are positioned in relation to a normative culture that is both fascinated and repelled by us. It’s not usually, ‘I hate you, get away.’ It’s more often, ‘I hate you. Come really close so I can terrorize you.'”

As a speaker from Pittsburgh’s TransYOUniting said at Pauly’s vigil, “I’m a Black, trans woman from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, and I’m tired. I’m tired of coming to these. I’m tired of us being murdered.” She went on to say, “So many of my friends have been murdered, and it should not be happening. There are so many folks out here. So many community members showed up today. But what are y’all going to do when you leave here? How are you going to show up for us then? That is the problem. Because you come here. But you don’t show up when we need you. We need you when we’re alive.” She continued, “We need you to show up to polls. We need you to show up to school boards. Because we matter. Pauly mattered. Say her name!”

It is on every living person to show up. It is on parents to work to educate themselves so that they can provide supportive environments for their trans kids. It’s on the other “helper” adults in these kids’ lives to make sure they have support at home, that they aren’t isolated, lonely, neglected, or abused. It’s on apps like Grindr to take community safety seriously, and for executives who won’t roll out age verification for dating apps to know they are enabling the assault, rape, exploitation, and murder of queer and trans teens and young adults. Even if they aren’t legally responsible, they are morally responsible.

We need to continue relentlessly fighting for queer and trans rights, for LGBTQ books and representation in schools and libraries, for trans kids to be protected by school policy — not outed or harmed. We need all of these things and more.

Pauly Likens was a 14-year-old trans girl with a beautiful soul who should have lived a full fucking life. Rest in peace, Pauly. You are sorely missed.

Interviews have been edited for clarity.

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7 Comments

  1. I don’t know what to say; thank you Nico for covering this reporting with such care. Rest in peace Pauly

  2. I so wish this article wasn’t necessary but I am so grateful to Nico and AS for putting Pauly’s life first.

    I’m crying into my mask on my commute home and I’m so tired of crying for our trans kids. Thank you for the reminder that we all have keep showing up and fighting.

    May Pauly’s memory be a blessing for her loved ones.

    • I also wish I never had to write this article. Thank you for reading. We can keep fighting, and we have to <3

  3. Thank you. Thank for including advice & solutions. Thank you for including challenges to the parents and the community. Thank you for showing Pauly’s Life.

Comments are closed.

‘I Only Want To Top During Sex and My Partner Is Taking It Personally’

Q:

I’m a trans, grey-ace person with a long history of body dysmorphia, eating disorders, and gynecology-based medical trauma. I recently had gender affirming top surgery, which has had an enormously positive impact on my life. I am determined, as I get to know my new body, to meet my body image hang ups with compassion and do the work to help myself heal.

One of the areas I really want to address is my anxiety around sex. I recently mentioned to my partner that I want to have a (temporary) break from receiving during sex in order to give myself space to be with my body fully, which didn’t go over terribly well. She feels guilty, although she has absolutely no need to — I LOVE topping, that’s how I feel most sexy, and to be honest, less overtly sexual receiving of touch such as massage or hair petting makes me feel safer and more grounded in my body than sex acts.

I know in theory it’s not wrong of me to ask this, but I also really, really don’t want to make her feel bad. I have reiterated that it’s not down to her skills, I’ve always enjoyed what we do together, I just have a super complicated relationship with receiving that is getting in the way of enjoyment. How can I help her feel supported and also take the time I need to reclaim my body as my own first?

A:

Hi there to a fellow trans person finding home in your body. Congratulations on having surgery that speaks to you, and I hope your recovery goes well.

In general, it sounds like you have a pretty good grasp of your needs. You’ve had gender-affirming surgery and are going through a period of bodily reflection and adjustment. You’re doing the admirable labor of self-love in addressing our past pain. And you’re still finding room to care for your partner’s needs while you post a temporary Under Construction sign on certain sex acts.

But when we change the shape of the sex we want, it’s a call that includes our partners. And you can get a whole color wheel of responses. I’ve experienced relief because it turned out that’s what they also wanted but didn’t want to say. I’ve also experienced uncertainty that settled into a pleasant new norm. And I’ve experienced disruption and anger. Raising these questions and changes with our partners is difficult because if there was already a pleasant status quo, changes can disrupt people’s preferred sex and their sense of normalcy.

I think that’s part of what’s happening here. This state of flux you’re experiencing is positive for you but is being received as a disruption to her pleasant status quo. To use an overused word from 2020, it’s injected uncertainty into her life. So I’m going to address this from two directions: structure and affirmation.

Structure

Structure is the comfortable normalcy we build or settle into. It’s different for everyone. The easiest way to see someone’s preferred structure is to notice how foreign their life seems. Like, you could never live that way. But somehow they seem perfectly fine with it? That’s structure. It makes life feel ‘normal’. It keeps dysregulation away.

In your case, I think the concept applies because there’s been a change in your mutual structure that’s being received differently. To you, putting a hold on receiving sex is a planned step that coincides with your needs. To her, it’s a change of pace that’s touched off some insecurities.

It’s possible that her feelings will stabilize with time and she’ll find a way to ‘cope’. But you can help a lot by restoring structure to the dynamic in a way that doesn’t deny your bodily integrity.

This can look like a number of things:

  • Opening conversations about how this is a planned adjustment to your life to reassure her things aren’t tumbling downhill
  • Checking on how she feels about this topic as often as she needs, so she feels heard
  • Pointing out that you’re not checking out of sex and greatly enjoy aspects of it — like topping! Then demonstrate your enthusiasm when you have a chance. That way, she can feel like sex is still present and enjoyable.
  • Gently softening her life in other areas. Things like picking up an extra chore or some errands can take a bit of stress off our partners when they have stuff on their mind.
  • Framing the discussion of this change as one that benefits your mental needs and past trauma. So that it’s not ‘just’ about sex, but also about healing and growth.

All of these things comprise the work of facilitating a change in a relationship. They show that you’re not charging ahead with a change that affects her. Instead, you’re taking her emotional state and opinion seriously without compromising on your needs. Of course, this will only be true if you commit to the labor of doing this.

Affirmation

The second step is affirmation. This one matters because if she feels bad about her share of the sex life, it might speak to an existing insecurity.

Here, it’s important to have conversations with her about what she’s feeling. This isn’t quite the same as restoring the structure so she doesn’t feel disrupted. It’s about stepping out to affirm her needs as part of the shared relationship journey.

It definitely starts with the thing you said to us about how it’s not at all her fault. And that she doesn’t have any reason to feel guilty. And you adore her and want to share this life with her. And everything else that is remotely true that she needs to hear when she feels guilty.

You’ll be replacing the voice of inadequacy in her head with your voice of affirmation. This applies to her worries about her sexual skills. Her body image. Her preferred role in the relationship. All of it.

Focusing on both structure and affirmation will help stabilize roughness in a relationship. They both serve the same purpose: restoring confidence. You didn’t do anything to damage her confidence, but you unveiled a soft spot, and you can walk through it with her.

I’ve found that when efforts like these go well, they have a feedback loop. All relationships have a cycle of feelings between partners. Great relationships use that to their advantage by cultivating growth and confidence.

You’ll notice I didn’t mention anything about what you should do to work on your body. That’s because your growth can follow as a natural outcome of supporting your girlfriend. If she’s more stable and confident in this change, you’ll get the relief you need to look to your needs. And you’re already the expert on your life, so you’ve got that down.

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Summer Tao

Summer Tao is a South Africa based writer. She has a fondness for queer relationships, sexuality and news. Her love for plush cats, and video games is only exceeded by the joy of being her bright, transgender self

Summer has written 41 articles for us.

2 Comments

  1. This was great! As a trans lesbian (gray ace), I love seeing us supporting each other across the aisle on Autostraddle

    I’m currently having the issues as I do not come with partners and try giving myself over into receiving. I suspect that the OP will take on that work as part of their healing/growth, but good on you OP for communicating what you think will help now. Good luck!

    • I’m not trans, but I identify as a pillow princess. I’m surprised this post didn’t reference stone tops at all. 🫠

      There aren’t many lesbians who are open about being stone tops or bottoms because of the reactions from switches and people wanting to “flip” us into switches, but we do still exist. It’s not uncommon for trans women and masculine-of-center sapphics to identify as stone tops, for their own personal reasons.

      I wish there wasn’t so much backlash about it. These are sexual boundaries. I do wonder if major media sites covered these dynamics more that there wouldn’t be such a lack of the representation.

      I’m posting this as a reply to you, because perhaps finding out about stone tops might be helpful, but it can also apply to the discussion in general.

Comments are closed.

Who Will Write Me Fanfic About Sasha Lane and Katy O’Brian in ‘Twisters’?

The original Twister from 1996 is one of the best Blockbusters of all time. It’s a Universal Studios ride of a movie that’s filled with great performances, genuine heart, and so much sex appeal. Legacy sequels are often bad, but with the director of Minari behind the camera and a cast with a deep bench, I was very excited for Twisters.

Rather than a mindless good time at the movies, I found this sequel to be quite moving and even upsetting. During horror movies, my girlfriend is usually the one squeezing my hand as we push her limits, but this time I was squeezing hers. Natural disasters on-screen really upset me! And Twisters doesn’t shy away from portraying the grief and genuine fear these disasters wrought. It also asks questions about how we move past youthful idealism, how we continue to fight for a better world after setbacks, and how we work toward our big picture goals without losing day-to-day humanity. My cold Capricorn heart does not usually cry in movies and I was sobbing! To be fair, did you know our world is very challenging and a lot of people are suffering and our climate crisis is making natural disasters more frequent without the government intervention needed to either prevent this increase or take care of people after?

Anyway, all these big feelings didn’t mean the movie wasn’t also fun. Without even a kiss, Twisters was not as horny as the original. I was still horny. No, not for our central love interests — Challengers inspired me to embrace my bisexuality but Glen Powell still doesn’t do it for me, Normal People endeared me to Daisy Edgar-Jones but not in that way — I’m talking, of course, about Sasha Lane and Katy O’Brian.

I’ve been a fan of Sasha Lane since American Honey. The Miseducation of Cameron Post, Hearts Beat Loud, How to Blow Up a Pipeline, and her coming out as queer only solidified my crush — talent crush and otherwise. Meanwhile, Katy O’Brian is a new fave due to a movie you may have heard about and we may have written about a few times titled Love Lies Bleeding. Both actors play members of Glen Powell’s ragtag group of tornado wranglers. Sasha Lane is Lily, the drone expert, and O’Brian is Dani, the… well, I’m not sure her official title, but I think it’s Hot Masc In Cowboy Hat.

Neither character has their own arc nor even scenes where they’re the focus per se, but they are very charming and enhance every scene they’re in. They also hint at the reveal that Glen Powell’s cocky asshole is actually just an ethical sweetheart with bravado. I’m not saying straight guys with two dyke friends can’t still be assholes, but, hey, it’s at least a green flag.

While I was trying not to rip my girlfriend’s hand off in panic as the tornadoes were swirling around threatening the lives of everyone on-screen, my mind did start to wander about Lily and Dani. Have they hooked up? Are they just friends? Are they just friends who hooked up once and then decided it was only due to the adrenaline rush of surviving disaster? How often do they frequent the two remaining lesbian bars in Oklahoma?

Maybe a few years ago I would’ve begged for a Twist3rs focusing on these two. But I am no longer filled with the youthful idealism of someone who thinks Hollywood would put a hundred million dollars behind a couple of storm-chasing queers. Instead, I’ll ask the queer community to do their thing: Who will be the first to write Twisters fanfic about Lily and Dani? I have no plans to do it formally, but I have started thinking up scenarios. It just goes to show, even bare minimum, surface level queer inclusion can be a lot of fun with the right performers.

I hope Lane and O’Brian got to cash some big checks so they can afford to do more great work in very gay indies. And I hope Lily and Dani are somewhere in our imaginations having a post-tornado hangout at Frankie’s.


Twisters is now playing in theatres.

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Drew Burnett Gregory

Drew is a Brooklyn-based writer, filmmaker, and theatremaker. She is a Senior Editor at Autostraddle with a focus in film and television, sex and dating, and politics. Her writing can also be found at Bright Wall/Dark Room, Cosmopolitan UK, Refinery29, Into, them, and Knock LA. She was a 2022 Outfest Screenwriting Lab Notable Writer and a 2023 Lambda Literary Screenwriting Fellow. She is currently working on a million film and TV projects mostly about queer trans women. Find her on Twitter and Instagram.

Drew Burnett has written 570 articles for us.

5 Comments

  1. I loved how Chung softpedaled the movie. It’s queer, diverse, worried about the climate, against corrupt greed, and all in such a matter-of-fact, non-confrontational way that it might seep into a red pilled brain without prompting defensiveness.

  2. When the straight characters did their secret tornado handshake with TWO FINGERS I was like …ok you needed to clear this with Sasha Lane and Katy O’Brian

  3. Hello,

    Could you please provide me with the current rates for posting content on your site with 2 do-follow links? Additionally, I would appreciate it if you could share a list of all your websites.

    Looking forward to your response.

    Thank you and regards.

Comments are closed.

‘Orphan Black: Echoes’ Gay Flashback Episode Approached ‘San Junipero’ Levels of Gay Sadness

The Queer Relationship on Orphan Black: Echoes is Revealed to Be the Backbone of the Whole Show

Orphan Black: Echoes, Kira and Eleanor eating Chinese food on the floor of their new apartment

They met at school just like Auntie Cosima and Auntie Delphine did. :wipes proud tear:

This week’s episode of Orphan Black: Echoes took a break from the timeline and did a big gay flashback episode that was so beautiful and tragic it’s being compared to the classic Black Mirror episode San Junipero as far as sapphic sadness goes. It showed us a little of what Kira was like in her 20s and how she ended up with her ex-grad school professor. We see Kira and Eleanor dating, falling in love, marrying, having a child, and eventually we see how Kira lost Eleanor and why she decided to go against everything she learned being entangled in an illegal cloning experiment once before and make a copy of her wife. It’s here we learn that a flirty little line they had throughout their relationship was a call and response that went, “Do I know you?” “I thought you might.” Which brings an extra knife-twist to the sadness in Adult Kira’s eyes when she answered accordingly when Lucy unwittingly asked her that question in the pilot.

Trans actor August Winter plays the younger version of Kira we meet in this episode, and they give off more of a gender non-conforming vibe than Adult Kira does and I kind of wish they had stuck with that. I understand that they probably didn’t partially so that in the pilot we would recognize Dr. Manning as the little girl we once knew – they practically have the same haircut – but I like that we get to see Kira in school, still a little quiet and shy, but also very smart with a charming smile. And hey, maybe it was just a gay haircut phase. I had an undercut for a while, it happens.

The episode gives a lot of backstory and makes the ethically questionable choices Kira has made more understandable, and definitely seems to be better as far as motives go compared to the scientists we met in the original Orphan Black. And it was also nice to see Krysten Ritter get to flex some of her Maslany abilities and play a second character with the same face in the same show. And in fact, Ritter has said this was one of her favorite episodes to film, and that August winter was “so wonderful.” She said, “We had such a great connection and so much fun together on set. They were really wonderful to work with as well.”

It was also just nice to have an entire episode centered around a queer romance, and that queer romance being revealed to be the backbone to the entire show. We are the future!! And I can’t wait to see what the future of this show has in store.

(Friendly reminder to our Australian friends that only episodes 1-5 have dropped in the US, even though you got the entire season months ago. No spoilers in the comments, please!)


More Gay Reverberating News (Get It…Because Echoes…)

+ Tubi dropped an 18 second teaser for the upcoming special Wynonna Earp: Vengeance and Waverly is sporting Dom Provost-Chalkley’s buzz cut!

+ Drag queens face off against zombies in upcoming film Queens of the Dead, which will involve Katy O’Brian, Margaret Cho, Brigette Lundy-Paine, and more

+ The House of the Dragon kiss between Rhaenyra (Emma D’Arcy) and Mysaria (Sonoya Mizuno) wasn’t originally in the script

+ Speaking of the non-binary actor, D’Arcy also recently discussed roles that helped them figure out their own identity

+ Britney Spears had a “girl crush” on a dancer which we all know is just comphet for crush crush

+ Here are 144 queer athletes at the Olympics that we know about so far

+ Chef Kristen Kish will celebrate her Emmy nomination with a tattoo whether she wins or not

+ Alyssa Thomas and DeWanna Bonner are a basketball power couple on the cover of Slam magazine

+ Netflix drops another Arcane teaser as we inch closer to the release of the second and final season

+ JoJo Siwa is still talking about her very specific plans for having three kids at once and naming them Freddy, Eddy, and Teddy – she even has a timeline now and I just sort of wish she was straight so I could stop learning things about her

+ And finally, have a list of queer beach reads for your summer plans

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Valerie Anne

Just a TV-loving, Twitter-addicted nerd who loves reading, watching, and writing about stories. One part Kara Danvers, two parts Waverly Earp, a dash of Cosima and an extra helping of my own brand of weirdo.

Valerie has written 574 articles for us.

5 Comments

  1. I do enjoy a good, sad gay flashback.

    The casting (or the general direction?) of younger Kira was really weird, they made 0 effort to maintain any continuity between kid Kira of orphan black and older Kira, this Kira was essentially a different character – not just dress style wise – but completely different accent, different way of talking, mannerisms, etc.

    Orphan Black has always been so, so good at maintaining continuity for characters that so it was a surprise to see them drop the ball like that.

  2. Whenever I hear something new about Jojo Siwa I’m trying to figure out what’s going on with her. She seems very immature, a little out of touch with reality, and quite entitled – which I suppose makes sense considering her upbringing. I don’t want to be out here criticising a 21 year old, I’m just always baffled by the stuff she says.

  3. Can we please stop making fun of JoJo Siwa? She’s barely an adult trying to find herself. It’s tired and borderline mean at this point.

Comments are closed.

‘The Garden Against Time’ Asks, Who Gets To Live in Paradise?

I didn’t grow up knowing anyone who had a traditional garden. In South Florida, where the heat is relentless and the storms are unpredictable, it takes a special kind of person to dedicate themselves to the care and keeping of a flower garden. Instead, almost everyone I knew, including my grandparents, had backyards full of tropical fruit trees. I suppose you could think of these as gardens, too, because taking care of mango, lemon, and avocado trees takes the same amount of patience, pruning, and commitment as anything else. But as kids, we often just took advantage of the gifts these trees gave us without much consideration for how much time our elders put into making sure they bore fruit at the appropriate times. Maybe it’s a way of performing penance for all the time I resented doing yard work with my grandpa that I love reading about people’s love of the natural world now — how they consider plants and treat them as members of their family or good friends, how they care for them, how they keep them alive despite our rapidly changing climate. Watching as an adult from someone else’s view of their relationship to nature has, in turn, helped me expand my appreciation beyond the wild wetlands of the Everglades and the blissful coasts of the beaches I’m more familiar with.

Olivia Laing’s latest book, The Garden Against Time: In Search of a Common Paradise, is an incredibly thoughtful and well-researched memoir and examination of gardens and, more specifically, a distinct vision of their power and prominence. In 2020, Laing and her partner purchased a home in Suffolk, England mostly because of the appeal of its garden. Laing, who spent most of her life working in radical environmental activist circles and creating temporary gardens in the places she lived, saw the home’s garden as an opportunity to finally design, create, and nurture a permanent garden into place. Originally designed by famous British landscape designer, Mark Rumary, the home’s large garden turned into a much bigger challenge than Laing originally thought it might be: “In the winter [when Laing first visited the house], I’d only seen the loveliness of the structure, the sense of promise. I hadn’t really taken in how neglected it all was. Now I looked with different eyes.”

The garden’s “neglect,” of course, set Laing on mission to resurrect it into something Rumary would be “proud” of through different the various struggles of her life: the pandemic, the political anxiety of our era, and personal adversities that range from her own illness to her father’s health problems. Its promise led her on a different journey altogether, one that would take her through the annals of time, history, literature, and art to reveal simultaneously more challenges to the legacy of gardens and more reasons to celebrate the very ideas represented by the construction and creation of them.

When we’re not out in the garden with Laing mulching and reseeding plant beds and stumping trees that can’t be revived, we’re in the library with Laing learning from a pantheon of (mostly British) writers, historical figures, thinkers, and artists who share an affinity or elitist fascination for gardens and the natural world. She moves between two diverging points of view of what gardens represent and who they’re for: one that insists gardens are a human “improvement” to the seemingly untamed savageness of the natural world meant for the enjoyment of the richest amongst us and one that places gardens in tandem with the natural world as the democratic ideal of “Eden” where everyone can share in their beauty and the common gifts they provide.

She introduces us to the Middleton family, the former owners of Shrubland Hall who were able to renovate the manor and the gardens there through the fortune they made from chattel slavery in the “New World;” Capability Brown, the 18th century English landscape architect who leveled parts of the British countryside taken by law from the people who lived there to create gardens and parks that “improved” the natural landscape; Iris and Antonio Origo, the owners of the La Foce estate in Tuscany who, during World War II, bucked against the feudal system of sharecropping occurring on their land to help the people there survive attacks by the Germans and then tried to reinstate the system as soon as the war concluded. To Laing, these characters are representative of the ways she doesn’t want people to think about gardens. Through the money they made in the most grotesque manners to their poisonous ideals, they’re but just a few of the people whose dedication to capitalism and fascism highlight the artifice of the garden and the destruction that is often done to people and the natural environment for the survival of them. Their relentless pursuit of profit makes her wonder, “The ordinary people who own the world; when do they get the keys?”

Thankfully, there’s not a moment in the book where she leaves us on that note. We’re taken through her first reading, during the pandemic, of John Milton’s epic poem, Paradise Lost, about Satan’s rebellion and descent into Hell and Adam and Eve’s subsequent removal from Eden after falling under his trance and defying God. Her generous reading of the ending of the poem, where Adam and Eve have been expelled from the great garden, brought tears to my eyes and set the scene for the rest of her investigations in the book.

She writes, “Despite its title, Paradise Lost is not exactly nostalgic. The garden serves as a kind of lodestar, an experience of nurture and richness that cannot be dismantled and might in future be reinstated. Adam and Eve mourn their losses, grieve what won’t continue, but when eviction comes, when the cherubim gather like mist rising from a river, when they are taken by the hand and led to Eden’s gate, they look back, drop a tear, and then turn resolutely round. The final line swells with possibility. ‘The World was all before them.’ Whatever they have suffered, whatever damage has been done, the future lies open ahead.” She reminds us that “Eden” — a uniquely egalitarian natural place free from shame, greed, corruption, and, most importantly, the evils of capitalism — isn’t some far-off fantasy that can’t be rebuilt through our own efforts here on Earth.

From there, the rest of her analysis examines the works of others who tried to bring this radical, communal conceptualization of a more earthly “Eden” to life. We’re initiated into the thoughts and practices of the Diggers and their founder Gerrard Winstaley, who fought against 17th century English enclosure laws and believed the natural world was a “common treasury” for all to be part of; Victorian gardener, textile artists, and socialist reformer William Morris, who spent the second half of his life fighting against the worst aspects of our capitalist society; the 19th century poet John Clare, who tried to fight against the destruction of nature through his poetry; the writer and filmmaker Derek Jarman, whose garden at Prospect Cottage was constructed despite the harshest odds; and the artists Cedric Morris and Arthur Lett-Haines, whose art school at Benton End became an enclave for outsiders and radicals of all stripes. Through these stories, she continually prompts us to remember that while that particular envisioning of “Eden” may seem like an “impossible dream,” there are and have been many others working to bring that vision to fruition through the seeds they’ve sown both physically and ideologically. Laing writes,

“What makes a garden such an important constituent of a utopia? It is neither a farm nor a wilderness, though it can push up hard against either of these extremes. This means it betokens more than just utility, encompassing beauty, pleasure and delight, while remaining emphatically a site of labour as well as leisure, a place to please puritans and sybarites alike. The presence of gardens in a society indicates that its inhabitants have sufficient surplus energy and time to attend to cultivation that, like art-making, is not strictly speaking necessary. What’s more, they wish to do so, which perhaps conveys something positive about their emotional or even spiritual state […] If a new model of society is desired, one that attempts to share its burdens and benefits more equably, then the question of the garden becomes very interesting to contemplate.”

Like so many of us, Laing dreams of a world where people are not only free to garden — or create art or read books or do nothing — without the anxiety of finding a way to survive but one where we’ve completely restructured it to make sure we can all share equally in the gifts our world provides us. She contends that, really, “Eden” is only “impossible” if we refuse to see what Adam and Eve did at the end of Paradise Lost: a whole world belonging to us “ordinary people,” opening up to us, begging us to make that dream a reality.

Woven throughout these arguments and contemplations are Laing’s recollections of the two-year (and still somewhat ongoing) project of revitalizing Rumary’s garden in the back of her new home. The garden provides her with the space to think about her relationship to it, her memories of all the places that made her fall in love with gardens in the first place, the experience of growing up with a queer parent during some of the most difficult times for queer people, and her relationship to her gardener father. These parts constitute some of the most endearing, harrowing, and distinctive writing of the book. In these sections, we truly get to know Laing in a way I don’t think her other work gives us access to. She’s unsure of herself, heartbroken by her “failures” in her garden, disappointed in the way so many of us seem resigned to continue living in the world as it is, and, of course, joyous over what she’s able to accomplish through the labor she puts into her garden (and everything she does).

In addition, her descriptions of that labor and of the natural life she nurtures into existence are some of the beautiful and life-affirming passages in the book. If her historical and literary examinations aren’t enough to convince you of the power and pleasure of doing labor that helps give you meaning, these passages certainly will. This helps her strike a delicate and authoritative balance in the book that, once again, helps show that her story is one that exists in the context of many that came before hers. She knows her ruminations on the majesty and equitability of gardens and the natural world, her beliefs about how our society should operate, and her hopes for the future are not unique. And that’s the point. There have always been others with steadfast trust in our ability to create a better, freer, more beautiful future together, and we just have to be unafraid of listening to them. At the end, she reminds us, “There’s no point in looking for Eden on a map. It’s a dream that is carried in the heart: a fertile garden, time and space enough for all of us. Each incomplete attempt to establish it […] is like a seed that travels on the wind […] rooting itself in what seemed like the most inhospitable terrain. […] This book is a garden opened and spilling over. The common paradise, that heretical dream. Take it outside and shake the seed.”

We desperately need to keep looking back at the people who came before us as a guide to remake the world around us. They created thousands upon thousands of roadmaps for us, and in a similar vein, The Garden Against Time is doing the same. Laing doesn’t provide us with any definitive answers, but instead, leaves us to contemplate what our “Eden” could look like and calls on us to decide, once and for all, what we’re willing to do to get it.


The Garden Against Time: In Search of a Common Paradise by Olivia Laing is out now.

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

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Stef Rubino

Stef Rubino is a writer, community organizer, and student of abolition from Ft. Lauderdale, FL. They teach Literature and writing to high schoolers and to people who are currently incarcerated, and they’re the fat half of the arts and culture podcast Fat Guy, Jacked Guy. You can find them on Twitter (unfortunately).

Stef has written 97 articles for us.

Minke Is Moving Past the Noise and Focusing on the Music

It’s an exciting era for music — lesbian musicians are not just being accepted but shooting to the top of the charts for queer and straight audiences alike. This makes the presence of fresh, queer faces like Minke even more exciting.

The artistic vehicle of London-based songwriter Leah Mason, Minke is a refreshing splash of cool queer melody, infused with multi-genre inspiration and a raw, electric voice. She popped onto the music scene with her 2017 single “Gold Angel” (which, as of this article, has 20 million streams on Spotify), and released her first album The Tearoom in 2019. Now five years later, she has returned with the orchestral piano track “Happier Than Me” and the thick-bassed, synth-laced “Favorite Part.” I had the pleasure of sitting down with her over FaceTime to discuss these songs, her past spent discovering herself as a musician, and where she hopes to grow in the future.


Gabbie: First off, congratulations. You recently released your single “Favorite Part” – a song Prelude Press referred to as “capturing the feeling of mustering up strength in the face of circumstances outside of your control.” Can you speak to the impact and significance of the track? Were there any challenges when you were making this song that influenced the way it came out?

Minke: It’s funny, everything has been relatively calm in the last couple years when I was writing that song. But it originated from the idea of when I first started grappling with coming out, and having crushes on women who were friends, and the broad idea of how terrifying, beautiful, and exciting that all is. It’s relevant still to my life now, though – I had a learning experience when me and my current partner became public. Learning how to deal with those elements of this beautiful thing happening but having that noise surrounding it – that was quite overwhelming for me. And it feels like that when you’re younger too, when you’re seeing this stuff online telling you how to feel, telling you if you’re gay and whether it’s wrong or it’s amazing. It’s easier to handle now, but I used to get lots of hate online, and the lyric “everybody’s screaming at me inside my car” felt like that at times.

Gabbie: As you just said, you publicly came out with your relationship with Cara Delevingne recently – how do you feel dating such a high-profile celebrity has impacted you and your work?

Minke: It was definitely discombobulating at the time, but generally falling in love will have an influence on your life, your music, how you grow as a person. This has been an amazing growth spurt in all those ways – as a partner she makes me feel so incredibly supported and loved, which inevitably has influence on the music. Quite quickly I learned people have a lot of thoughts about this, but now I live a very normal life and I focus on my music, and she goes off to do a million things, and we’re very happy. The other stuff’s just noise.

Gabbie: In a similar vein to that: a lot of queer musicians historically and contemporarily have to face that choice of being public with their sexuality or to keep it private, to make it a pillar of their work or to not. But right now there’s also this “lesbian renaissance” of music, pop specifically – with people like Chappell Roan and Renee Rapp getting to be openly lesbian and still sell out venues. It’s cool and great, but also kind of strange.

Minke: Right! Really wild. When I was coming up that was a faraway dream. The idea that I could be so…I was gonna say accepted, and it probably feels more accepted in the world that I choose to surround myself with, but it does feel more accepted by the mainstream. At the same time though I see the array of the comments online, and we have a long way to go to keep fighting. But it is a different landscape from when I was growing up, and it’s so exciting.

I’m typically quite a private person, and toeing that line between the music and expressing things publicly, I always struggle with that balance. I was definitely struggling with internalized homophobia early on in my music. I didn’t want to be known for being “the queer artist,” I wanted to be known as just an artist. But then when I became comfortable in my sexuality, I realized I really don’t mind that! I think it’s the coolest thing! I am a queer artist, and I’m owning that, and I’m proud of that. So it was a flip in my head, wanting to come out with this new music this year that’s more open.

Minke stands posed among some logs

Photo by Diana Mantis

Gabbie: On the topic of struggling with figuring out one’s identity, I know you also started out as a blues singer, and have made comments that performing blues made you feel like you were “pretending” to be someone else. Which I found an interesting choice of language considering that is often a feeling people attribute to the closeted queer experience. Can you talk more about your history with blues, and what made you make that move toward and then away from it?

Minke: 100%. It was my awakening of life. I was a lucky but sheltered kid. I felt awkward at school. So I locked myself away in my bedroom for years learning guitar, which was therapy for me because it was something I was good at. And by learning guitar, you kind of learn blues music first, from Stevie Ray Vaughan, Jimi Hendrix, Django Reinhardt, all sorts of older musicians who have a run of blues through them. My love of blues came from the guitar first, and that’s what got me noticed very young by my label.

It all happened so quickly: a label picked me up right out of school, but I still felt like that sheltered kid. I still hadn’t figured out who I was or what I wanted, and suddenly I moved into the city and realized it was a big world out there. I started questioning everything: my sexuality, my music, what I really wanted to write about. It feels weird saying it wasn’t great – I mean, I was sent to Nashville as a kid, which was so amazing! But I just felt out of place. I was working with a lot of older men who had a strong idea of what my music should sound like, and I was a kid who didn’t know what I wanted. But then moving to London, I met people, and ran around town and to raves, which helped me hone in on what I wanted to do, which led me to the project of Minke. I’m still that curious person, with love for all different types of music and I like to think there’s a throughline with the lyrical themes, the content, the production, but it definitely takes from a wide range of genres.

Gabbie: You say you grew up in a musical family?

Minke: Not professionally, we just really loved music.

Gabbie: I’d love to hear more about what it was like growing up in a home like that.

Minke: I owe it to my parents for introducing me to amazing music really young. My mum used to work as a secretary for a music video company, so she was kind of in the industry, and my dad just played drums for fun. The top floor of our house was an open plan, just space, and there was a piano and drum kit. My dad would come home from work and play music, and I would just dance around to it. I had this big teddy bear that I would dance with for hours, which must’ve driven my mum and brother wild!

And every car journey, that was my mum’s territory, playing Bon Jovi or Aretha Franklin, while my dad was more Tom Petty and “dude rock.” I absorbed this array of music, and basically it’s all their fault.

Gabbie: You say you moved to London, but you didn’t grow up there?

Minke: I was born in London, but then we moved to the suburbs where I lived until I was 17. And then I came out of school, immediately had my record deal handed to me which is the greatest luck, and so I moved to London as a baby musician. I didn’t know how to cook or do any adult things.

Gabbie: Maybe this is just me, but I’m curious how where an artist grows up or spends their time influences their music and who they are as a person. Do you feel growing up near London or living in London has affected your work, or does it feel inconsequential?

Minke: We grew up in the countryside, so that had something to do with it. Because the countryside can be quite isolating – if you want to visit a friend, you have to drive a long way to see them. So I had a lot of alone time, and that fed into the boredom of a kid, so you want to keep them busy however you can. Being 18 in London, and then growing into an adult person, that had an effect because it made me realize I didn’t want to sing about Nashville and “being at the crossroads,” it felt wrong. So if it wasn’t for London I probably wouldn’t have made that switch.

Gabbie: Yeah, and Nashville is quite a different cultural and musical landscape.

Minke: It was a huge culture shock. I mean, I loved it, but it was wild. Looking back, I think “wow, that was an interesting choice.” To be an English girl, late teens, just sent to Nashville.

Gabbie: You say growing up in the countryside made you feel lonely and bored, which is a great segue into a curiosity I had. Listening to your work, the one emotion or pillar I find myself returning to as I listen is loneliness. It feels like a strong tether – from romantic loneliness to social loneliness.

Minke: Yeah, I always feel like an outsider, and that feeling follows you around. Maybe being a queer person, an English person in America, even just a human. All my friends growing up went to university, and all had similar experiences, and they’re still my friends but I was always the odd one out.

Gabbie: I was wondering the intentionality of that loneliness, if you wanted to speak more to it. Being a queer person, being an artist, those experiences can be inherently isolating, unfortunately. I’m curious if you could talk more about how being on the outside looking in permeates your work, and if it feels more subconscious than conscious.

Minke: As a musician, you’re constantly observing, for inspiration, for writing. I’m constantly on the lookout for interesting things to write about. At a party, I’m observing, noticing things that surprise me or that I don’t understand or that I wouldn’t do. It’s intentional in the exact situation I’m writing about – the song “Elsewhere” was about me turning up to a party that a friend told me to go to, and they never turned up, so I was just at a house party alone. Dealing with that flakiness of Los Angeles friends that can happen.

I think you’ve actually cracked something open here! It’s not conscious, it’s just there, that I’m feeling alone a lot of the time, I – is this a therapy session?

Gabbie: It’s an intervention.

Minke: Cool, cool.

Gabbie: Loneliness can be a very insightful topic for art, especially for queer women, who experience a very specific kind of loneliness.

Minke: Yeah, I think it’s more subconscious bleeding through – which is why I love music. I’ll be listening to songs I wrote a year ago, and find them surprisingly so relevant to my life now. They’ll teach me things that I didn’t see at the time. When you’re writing something as pure and honest as you can, it’s magical. It teaches you about yourself.

She lies on a bed with a wooden backboard holding her guitar.

Photo by Diana Mantis

Gabbie: Now that you’re moving into this next chapter, era, album cycle, however you’d refer to it – is there anything you feel you’ve learned about yourself? Reflecting on the work you’ve already put out, what expectations do you feel you’re setting for yourself?

Minke: For me this work feels so much more accurate to where my life is now and how I’m actually feeling. It’s more representative of what I’m capable of and of what’s influencing me. I listen to these old songs and I cringe sometimes because I can hear the girl figuring things out. That poor lost baby! But these feel a lot more confident, as a woman in my early 30s, it feels like where I should be. One thing in particular is that I’m coming back to guitar in a full-circle moment of falling back in love after putting it to the side for awhile.

Gabbie: I feel you, that sometimes you have to leave something in the past while you figure yourself out, so you can come back to it for the reasons you love it and not for reasons other people expect of you.

Minke: Absolutely.

Gabbie: You talked about how you seek a wide scope of inspiration for your work. I’ve seen you across the Internet refer to artists like Fleetwood Mac, the Spice Girls, and Charli xcx, which is quite a spectrum. How has this melting pot approach to inspiration affected the kind of musician you are, and the kind of musician you want to become?

Minke: I think it all boils down to when I go to the studio, so many things go into my process: What mood am I in? What am I listening to right now? Since the explosion of Spotify, we have access to all the music from all parts of our lives. When I was a kid it was my parents’ music, as a teen it was emo and rock, in my 20s it was dance music and jazz. So we have all this music at our fingertips, and I just want to write something as pure and honest as I’m feeling that day. I don’t want to be so structured about it. I don’t want to create something just for the sake of generating “a sound.” The idea of a sound as an artist can limit you, in my opinion – like, this is the guitar tone that you always use, it’s usually around this BPM, and I don’t want to do that. I want to create music based on myself that day, which is probably where all of those influences come from, because I’m pulling from whatever I’m feeling and listening to that day. It could be Fleetwood Mac, it could be my friend playing me this cool thing they’re working on – not copying, but subconscious, it seeps in.

I was reading an interview with Pete Townshend where he said he doesn’t listen to any music while he’s working on his own stuff, so it can be “pure.” But, music is my life! You don’t turn that off. And I love listening to music, so why would I stop doing that? Just to penetrate this mysterious wall of authenticity? I don’t abide by that.

Gabbie: It’s such an exciting thing to hear you say that. There’s a lot of artists nowadays with a very concrete sound, style of production – and if that’s what they want, go for it! But as a listener it’s exciting to hear this approach, where you’re less concerned with curating a project, even a product, and more curating the songs as they come and worrying about how they slot in together later.

Can you talk more about what to expect moving forward? You’ve released “Favorite Part,” so we’ve got a sense of where you’re at, but moving forward what can you tell us to expect? If you even know what to tell people!

Minke: I’m going to be releasing a single roughly every six weeks for the rest of the year, so I know those songs that are already coming. I’ve tied them into the feelings of the songs and the ideal time, in my head, to listen to them.

The next one is a summery bop with biting lyrics – falling for a straight girl and that off-and-on worry about if they’re closeted or not. The one after that has hip-hop influences, the closest I’ve ever come to having a beat on a song, with really cool guitar which I love. The one after that will be out around Halloween, and the one around Christmas has a choral, wholesome, uplifting, hopeful edge. Very personal song. So I know what’s coming, which is exciting. And I’m working on the next chapter now – it’s not fully nailed down yet, but it’s a lot more guitar. Watch this space, it’s a work-in-progress.

Gabbie: Is there any particular song coming out soon that you’re excited to share?

Minke: I’m most excited about the next one because I think it’s the most playful, queer-specific song I’ve written so far. It feels like a first in my repertoire. But the song at the end of the year is very heartfelt, it’s a ballad. I think every song shows another side of me, and what I’m capable of, so I’m very excited.

Gabbie: I love this approach, of your honesty that you’re figuring it out as you go along.

Minke: Is that the queerness in me? That I refuse this very structured box? Maybe that’s why I haven’t had a lot of success with labels, because I just want to be free. I want to maintain that excitement, love, and passion for my music. I don’t want to be limited in any way.

Minke dressed in black walks on stone stumps in a park.

Photo by Diana Mantis

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Gabrielle Grace Hogan

Gabrielle Grace Hogan (she/her) received her MFA from the University of Texas at Austin. Her poetry has been published by TriQuarterly, CutBank, Salt Hill, and others, and has been supported by the James A. Michener Fellowship and the Ragdale Foundation. In the past, she has served as Poetry Editor of Bat City Review, and as Co-Founder/Co-Editor of You Flower / You Feast, an anthology of work inspired by Harry Styles. She lives in Austin, Texas. You can find her on Instagram @gabriellegracehogan, her website www.gabriellegracehogan.com, or wandering a gay bar looking lost.

Gabrielle has written 15 articles for us.

2 Comments

  1. How random, did Cara D pay you to write this? 🤣 Her music is boring plus her performances and music videos show no personality either. Yawwwn.

    If she wants to succeed then she better get on Chappell, Charli, Taylor, Sabrina etc level and become exciting to watch or listen to.

    • I see the trolls have arrived here too. get a life or find a hobby instead of going around the web insulting people

Comments are closed.

Quiz: Who Is Your Dream WNBA Olympian Basketball Wife?

WNBA All-Star weekend was honestly fantastic but now we’re all bracing ourselves for the holes in our souls where multiple WNBA games a day once lived as the season is paused for our faves to travel to Paris for the Olympics. Luckily, we will be able to fill that hole with the Olympics! Plan your own (imaginary) Olympics adventure with this handy quiz and we’ll tell you whomst of the gay WNBA players competing in France is your (hypothetical) Basketball Wife! (In this scenario you are able to travel with your loved ones to Paris and stay in the same place. I’m not sure how all that actually works to be honest, so let’s just go with it. We are all playing games here in the end)

Who Is Your WNBA Olympian Basketball Wife?

Imagine a fantasy world where you're traveling to the Olympics with your basketball wife. What travel-day duties are you taking on?(Required)
Pick a snack from home to pack for the flight:(Required)
Let's pack some things for in-flight entertainment. First, a book:(Required)
And a Game:(Required)
And pick a movie currently available on Delta's in-flight entertainment system:(Required)
While you're in Paris for the Olympics — besides basketball, which sporting events are you hoping to check out?(Required)
Pick an activity to do if you hypothetically had a day off to see the sights with your basketball wife:(Required)
Pick a charming travel vice for your partner to have:(Required)
Pick a charming travel virtue for your partner to have:(Required)
And finally, pick the ideal height for your dream WNBA basketball wife:(Required)

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

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Riese

Riese is the 41-year-old Co-Founder of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, video-maker, LGBTQ+ Marketing consultant and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and now lives in Los Angeles. Her work has appeared in nine books, magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. She's Jewish and has a cute dog named Carol. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 3229 articles for us.

8 Comments

  1. If I got Alyssa Thomas, does that mean that I get a bonus basketball wife in DeWanna Bonner?

  2. It’s very fun to me that I picked the lowest height for the height question and got Brittney Griner, the tallest lesbian, for my overall result.

    No hate to tall women. I just am a modest 5’4″ and prefer smaller height gaps. Who knows, maybe a different tall woman and I will fall in love one day in the end lol.

Comments are closed.

Anatomy of a Queer Sex Scene: ‘Dyktactics’ Reminds Us to Touch

Welcome to Anatomy of a Queer Sex Scene, a series by Drew Burnett Gregory and Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya about queer sex scenes in film. Today, Drew analyzes Barbara Hammer’s classic Dyketactics.


Barbara Hammer: Dyketactics was the first, as far as we know, lesbian lovemaking film and I made it because touching a woman’s body similar to my own increased my sense of touch in a way that I hadn’t experienced as a heterosexual. So I began to put touch on the screen, connecting eyes, sight, perception and physical touch.

Another Gaze Magazine: Can you talk more about this relationship to touch? Was it grounded in any sort of theory?

Barbara Hammer: Well, I started trying to study the sense of touch and found that really it wasn’t scientifically studied. I only found one book by Ashley Montagu on touching and as I read it, it confirmed my experience. In the brain, the largest area connected to the senses is the area of touch. We know space through movement, through moving. The amount of nerve endings in our opposable thumbs is almost equal to the clitoris. These are our areas of knowing the world, and they are connected directly to sight. Why? Because, as infants we do not focus until two months, but we touch immediately. We have to find our mother’s breast. So our sense of touch is more highly developed upon birth than any of the other senses that we have. I think this is extraordinarily important and is still neglected. I hope that when people see my cinema they feel their bodies and they find the connection.

The two halves of Barbara Hammer’s Dyketactics are equally sensual. The first two minutes capture a group of women frolicking through a field, superimposed images of fruit and bodies over wide pastoral images. The second two minutes are more direct. Two women — including Hammer — have sex. The camera spins around, alternately close and closer, abstracting the bodies, allowing us to see them in new ways and to feel the rush of sexuality.

Hammer made this film as a 30 year old film student. It’s one of the most influential and important works of both experimental film and lesbian film. Even after a lifetime of remarkable, ground-breaking work, it remains her most famous and just this week was voted 48th on our list of The 100 Best Lesbian Movies of All Time.

As someone who wanted to make movies before I wanted to be a lesbian, and made my first movie before I had my first lesbian sex, I find Hammer’s approach to cinema as exciting as her subject matter. Many times over the years I’ve bemoaned filmmaking as a calling due to its cost. Every art form has its challenges, but movies feel uniquely prohibitive. That is if we limit our understanding of filmmaking like many straight people limit their understanding of sex.

There is an immense understanding of cinema within the short runtime of Dyketactics. But it’s an understanding that requires few resources. Like all of Hammers’ early films — shot either on 16mm or Super 8 — it required only a small amount of people and a small amount of equipment.

How can two women have sex? How can someone make cinema without money and power? These are intellectual questions. They are questions of expectation and the expected. When two women touch, this all goes away. Lesbian sex — in all its many definitions — can be endless invention driven by pure desire. Why can’t cinema be the same?

I’ll stop the metaphor there — although I’m tempted to go further with the point that lesbians do deserve institutional backing just like they deserve expensive sex toys — because the point, to me, is to refuse the intellectual exercise of sex and filmmaking. Touch your partner or partners, touch cameras and film stocks and the device you use to edit. Follow instinct. Use what you have. Communicate desire with lovers and collaborators, but don’t get lost in the how.

To me, Dyketactics is sex and Dyketactics is cinema. It’s a reminder of our place within both. It’s a reminder that we can define both.

Maybe the most important shot of the film is Hammer pointing a camera down at herself.

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Drew Burnett Gregory

Drew is a Brooklyn-based writer, filmmaker, and theatremaker. She is a Senior Editor at Autostraddle with a focus in film and television, sex and dating, and politics. Her writing can also be found at Bright Wall/Dark Room, Cosmopolitan UK, Refinery29, Into, them, and Knock LA. She was a 2022 Outfest Screenwriting Lab Notable Writer and a 2023 Lambda Literary Screenwriting Fellow. She is currently working on a million film and TV projects mostly about queer trans women. Find her on Twitter and Instagram.

Drew Burnett has written 570 articles for us.