A Million Red Flags: My Polyamory Failure

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The first time it happened, Andy and Julia had come to New York for the weekend and I was trying desperately to look like a fun, outgoing person who did cool things in the city. Honestly, that time in my life wasn’t very cool. I’d gone on tour with a rock band immediately after graduating college instead of seeking out a practical career, which had been awesome at the time, but when that dried up I moved back in with my parents and picked up a dead-end job at a local bookstore chain in suburban New Jersey. None of my friends lived in the town I grew up in anymore and I felt directionless, really lonely and vulnerable. I was just sort of floating in space, waiting for my real adult life to pick up. I realize when I tell this story that I sound like the kind of person who might get recruited for a religious cult.

Andy and Julia were a cool young couple who lived upstate. I’d met them at a conce...

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Stef Schwartz is a founding member and the self-appointed Vapid Fluff Editor at Autostraddle.com. She currently resides in New York City, where she spends her days writing songs nobody will ever hear and her nights telling much more successful musicians what to do. Follow her on twitter and/or instagram.

Stef has written 442 articles for us.