Jenny is more Jenny than EVER this season, Shane fucks it up again, Helena’s even pretty in jail, and someone commits arson! arson! Oh yeah, and Alice and Tasha are cutehotadorablesexybeautifuletcetc.

Of all foods: french fries. Of all underthings: boybriefs. . Of all girls: Shane. Of all cheekbones: Tasha’s. Of all L Word writers: Angela Robinson. Of all cities: New York City. Of all songs: “Just Like Heaven,” by the Cure. It’s just … such a perfect song, and the last song I ever expected to hear during an L Word sex scene!

Someone just let Angelica honk the horn. already because shit is going DOWN in the season finale. Phyllis, Jodi, and Adele want it their way and Shane’s fucking [it all up] again but at least Helena and her money are here to save The Planet. Because where would be be without The Planet?

Things that suck: when you and your girlfriend accidentally wear the same outfit, when everyone has PMS, trying to break up with a girlfriend who refuses to be broken up with, getting blackmailed, meeting a cute girl when you already have a perfectly nice girlfriend, etc. It’s all right here, girls.

Just fyi, no one wants to look like they’re moving furniture when they’re fucking. In other news, Adele is creepily turning into Jenny and Phyllis’s daughter is a babe.

Cut. Print. Adele is getting creep-city but we don’t care. There are court cases to be won and lesbian Turkish oil wrestling to be done.

Good news: on a scale of one to ten, this episode was “not bad!” There was a surprising amount of sex from miss i-never-give-the-girls-what-they-want chaiken, it was directed by Jamie Babbit, Foxy Brown came to the jailhouse, and Inconceivable showed up from ‘The Princess Bride.’