What do we feel our sexual IDs “mean” about us as “people”? Do they have overlaps with our sense of self outside of bed? Do we notice others assuming these things about us (or projecting them onto us)? If so, is that annoying or helpful? Do they get at authentic ways that our sexual dynamics are natural expressions of other parts of our personhood?

How have you defined (or not) your role over time? Has it changed, did you at first think you “were” one thing and now you ID differently? how did that feel and what did it bring up? How do you ID now, and where do you see it as part of that ~ journey ~?

Many Black women are raised to give our apparent struggles the stiff upper lip. We’re taught to be loud, and proud, and bigger than the world sees us. And at the end of all of that effort, in my most private and intimate moments, I wish to lay my burdens down. Ain’t I a bottom?