Boobs on Your Tube: SHOCKING! 90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days Lesbian Wants to Slow Things Down??

Welp! Amazon cancelled A League of Their Own’s second season, despite the scripts already being written. It was a week of farewells, actually. We had to say goodbye to Riverdale, Nancy Drew, and Che Diaz. Kayla guided us out the door with lists of Riverdale’s most sapphic moments and ten most essential episodes. Love Island USA maybe has a queer couple in the works. On its 20th anniversary, Drew makes the case that Thirteen should be in the queer girl coming-of-age canon. Drew also interviewed Stewart Thorndike and wrote my favorite headline of the week: Piaffe Is for the Kinky Arthouse Horse Girls — And Not Girls.

Notes from the TV Team:

+ grown-ish wrapped its summer run this week, as the Cal U crew heads home for the holidays. Zaara’s eschewing the family get-together this year and, instead, is heading to San Diego for a modeling gig. Or at least that’s what she tell’s everyone. In truth, Drea invited her on a little getaway. Ultimately, Zaara realizes that the fact that she needed to lie about her relationship with Drea was enough of a red flag that she opts to forgo their plans and spend the holiday in the dorms. Kiela nixes that idea and, instead, invites Zaara to join her and her family for Christmas in New York.

Part of me hopes that their holiday trip will spark more than friendship feelings between Zaara and Kiela and lead to a love triangle with the newly single Andre but I’m not getting my hopes up. We’ll see what happens when grown-ish returns for its final episodes this fall. — Natalie


90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days Episode 612: “Field of Dreams”

Written by Nic

Statler and Dempsey are sitting on a white couch and holding hands

It’s the morning after Statler set up a Valentine’s Day scavenger hunt and also told Dempsey she loves her and also that she wants to move in with her so you know, things are…dicey. Dempsey’s getting ready for work solo while Statler wakes up on the couch where she spent the night. They barely speak before Dempsey peaces out for the day, leaving Statler to spiral alone.

Enter: Natalie. There’s always a “friend of” on these shows that either enable the cast member or become the voice of reason. Natalie is the latter and we love her in this house! Statler video chats her friend Natalie and fills her in on her time so far including the previous night’s shitshow. When Statler tells Natalie about the moving in reveal, Natalie asks if Statler asked Dempsey to move in or told her she was going to. And I swear, it looked like Statler had never even considered asking. You can tell that Natalie’s had to have this kind of conversation with Statler before because she’s so gentle with her friend as she suggests that maybe Dempsey was hurt about learning that Statler’s ex wanted to meet up because it seemed like she was just another British girl that Statler fell in love with. Natalie reminds her to live in the moment, but Statler continues to harp on the fact that her lease is up soon and she’s been doing all of this planning for her future with Dempsey; except what Statler doesn’t grasp is that she up until the night before, she hadn’t included Dempsey in any of that planning. Throughout the entire conversation, realization seems to dawn on Statler that maybe, just maybe, if she continues to push, she might lose something great.

Later that night, Statler is getting ready for Dempsey to get home after a full day of anxiety spiraling and convincing herself that Dempsey is going to end things (whew, been there, girl). Once they sit and start talking, Dempsey explains that she was hurt that not only did Statler have conversations about meeting up with her ex, but also she didn’t tell Dempsey about it. And she felt completely blindsided by Statler’s declaration that they should move in together. Here’s the thing – these two fundamentally view relationships differently; Dempsey believes that getting to know someone is a gradual process and love and commitment come with time, whereas once Statler senses an inkling of a feeling she grabs on and dives in for fear that she’ll lose it.

So much of what we see play out with Statler’s feelings is a result of trauma she faced growing up as the only adopted member of her family, where she was treated as “less than.” Those experiences shaped her thought patterns and in turn have affected the way she approaches relationships. When she finds love, she holds on so tightly because she’s terrified that by loosening that grip, she’ll lose out on what she’s wanted her whole life: to love and be loved. I think what she has a harder time grasping is that by holding on so tightly and pushing so hard, she might end up pushing someone away.

Statler opens up about the root of her trauma to Dempsey, and after they hug about it, Dempsey reassures Statler that just because she wants to go slower doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to be with her. In fact, Dempsey is ecstatic to introduce Statler to her friends the next day. Part of Statler hopes that maybe Dempsey will change her mind, but another part of her thinks she can live with the slower pace Dempsey is asking for. Next week: friends!


Only Murders in the Building Episode 304: “The White Room”

Written by Valerie Anne

Only Murders in the Building: Mabel in a very bisexual patchwork sweater leans on a mantel and smirks.

Ah, the bisexual lean.

This week, Cinda Canning is back and talking softly about self-care into a microphone, trying to shift her image from being framed for murder before diving back into the true crime scene.

Meanwhile, Mabel is apartment hunting, and ignoring texts from a number she doesn’t have saved. She looks at the clean white space of an overpriced, small space and simply isn’t feeling it, so she heads back to the Arconia to continue trying to solve Ben’s murder, even though her guys remain distracted by both the musical and their love lives.

Charles’s girlfriend, Joy, (and her many fish) is moving in, and seems awfully happy the show seems to be over. We also learn that she threatened Ben, warning him to leave Charles alone…or else.

Oliver is distracted by his potential date with Loretta, and also getting Charles to sing his patter song without going into a white-room blackout and doing things too obscene to show on TV.

Mabel keeps working through, and follows clues that lead her to Kimber, who had given Ben her anti-aging serum. Mabel sneaks backstage to figure out if it was poisoned, but finds Kimber there instead. We learn three things about Kimber: she wasn’t sleeping with Ben despite what everyone assumes, her line of self-care products isn’t doing as well as she says it is, and she sold her hanky on eBay. So for now, she’s lower on the suspect list.

When Mabel goes into Ben’s dressing room, she finds the message “fucking pig” written on the mirror in lipstick. Last week in the comments, someone suggested that maybe Ben was talking to a plate of cookies in the video on Tobert’s camera, and this hilariously fits with that theory. Maybe Ben wrote that message to himself after he couldn’t resist the call of the cookie.

Either way, Mabel is suspicious when she learns that the lipstick she pocketed as evidence turns out to be Joy’s.

Mabel eventually answers the texts she’s been ignoring and meets up with the mystery number…who ends up being Cinda Canning. She wants to partner with Mabel, and plays into the fact that her usual co-hosts are busy. Cinda offers her money, but Mabel is still feeling loyal to her guys so she turns her down…for now.


The Chi 604: “ReUp”

Written by Natalie

Asiahn guest starts as Dre's ex, Monica. She's wearing pink shapewear with a black and white shear rob over top. She is also sporting long, pale pink nails.

Do I appreciate how this week’s episode of The Chi starts out? Not really. But do I appreciate that a Lena Waithe show is always going to bring out the black actors who were hallmarks of my childhood? Absolutely. Welcome to The Chi, Toni Childs (AKA Jill Marie Jones AKA “Bianca”). I see you still specialize in results. Bianca’s shower dalliance with Douda is interrupted by the return of his wife (ex-wife?) Roselyn. Now I’m excited; The Chi is always better with Roselyn’s chaotic energy. This time, though, that energy is mellowed out by a marijuana smoke filled haze, as everyone celebrates 4/20.

The next day, Dre’s at work in the community center when she spots someone smudging a nearby conference room. Turns out, it’s her ex, Monica (played by lesbian songstress, Asiahn), who Tracy’s brought in to provide reiki and massages for the staff. Monica wonders if her presence will make things weird for Dre but Dre points out that if it’s weird for anyone, it should be her…since she’s the one that ended their relationship. Monica insists that their break-up was mutual but Dre remembers being more broken up about it than Monica was. While Dre assures Monica that she’s fine with her being at the center, the way that their interaction summons past break-up pain…well, sufficed to say, I don’t think it’s fine.

Later, as she’s packing up to leave, Monica appears at Dre’s door and invites her out for coffee to catch up. Dre demurs, noting that she doesn’t want to explain to her wife that she was out with her ex-fiancée (!!). Monica seizes on that a little too readily for my tastes and notes that a lack of trust was always Dre’s problem. Dre notices the ring on Monica’s finger and wonders aloud if, when Monica said she didn’t want to get married, she just meant she didn’t want to get married to her. Monica assures Dre that it was a question of timing — she wasn’t ready at the time — and Dre pivots to showing off pictures of her kids and grandkids. But while Monica notes how cute the kids are, the thing she seizes on is Nina.

“She’s just not who I expected you to be with,” Monica admits. “I thought you had a type.”

“Well, my type kept breaking my heart so I decided to switch things up a bit,” Dre answers.

I don’t think I’ve ever felt more called out by a line of dialogue.

Fatima reunites with her trans family over brunch and mimosas. From left to right: Fatima, Aerin and Isis.

Meanwhile, The Chi continues its world-building for Fatima, introducing Aerin and Isis (Toni Bryce and Monroe Alise). Back in season three, the show affirmed the need for queer people to exist in community so I’m thrilled to see that reasserted here. That said, Isis calls Fatima her daughter and Aerin calls herself Fatima’s older sister and it’s hard not to feel like we’re just scratching the surface of Fatima’s world. I want to know so much more.

The three women kiki over Fatima’s new living arrangements with Victor. Isis insists that Fatima should stop working and invest her time and energy into building the family that she’s always wanted. But Aerin notes that not everyone aspires to having a sugar daddy taking care of them; she encourages her sister to continue doing her own thing…just in case something goes wrong with Victor. But when they return to Fatima’s house, her family takes comfort in the new life that she’s building for herself.

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Valerie Anne

Just a TV-loving, Twitter-addicted nerd who loves reading, watching, and writing about stories. One part Kara Danvers, two parts Waverly Earp, a dash of Cosima and an extra helping of my own brand of weirdo.

Valerie has written 548 articles for us.

Natalie

A black biracial, bisexual girl raised in the South, working hard to restore North Carolina's good name. Lover of sports, politics, good TV and Sonia Sotomayor. You can follow her latest rants on Twitter.

Natalie has written 396 articles for us.

Nic

Nic is a Senior Product Manager at a major Publisher and lives in Astoria, NY. She is way too attached to queer fictional characters and maintains that buying books and reading books are two very different hobbies. When she's not consuming every form of fiction, you can find her dropping it low on the dance floor. You can find Nic on twitter and instagram.

Nic has written 78 articles for us.

7 Comments

  1. We love the theory that Ben wrote “fucking pig” to himself so much hahahaha, honestly it fits so perfectly. Everyone seems so obvious right now with Only Murders, it’s hard to tell who actually did it. I think it would be fun if all three love interests got accused though.

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