25 Things To Do if You Need a Break From Your Family This Holiday Weekend

I am not here to judge or question why you might need a little me time over the next few days if you are gay, tired, and dealing with family members who are varying degrees of unsupportive of you and your life. I am simply here to suggest some things you can do to get away for an hour or two.

  1. Make a list of everyone who has ever wronged you.
  2. Reach out to other homos home for the holidays in distress and organize a Zoom reading with them of the poems you wrote as a teen.
    Please don’t try to say you didn’t write poetry as a teen…I DON’T BELIEVE YOU.
  3. Research paranormal mysteries online.
  4. Spam your group chat with selfies edited to have 2010-2014 era tumblr aesthetics.
  5. Roll a pair of dice and use the results to determine what episode of The L Word to rewatch.
  6. Read Bram Stoker’s Dracula.
    Idk, just seems like people would probs leave you alone.
  7. Summon a demon from the underworld.
    I don’t know where one begins this journey, but perhaps at your local library. Support your local library!
  8. Go down a social media rabbit hole trying to figure out what your favorite high school English teacher is up to.
    I hope Ms. Smith is thriving!
  9. Suggest a game night and then cheat in such obvious ways that you get banned from playing so you can go do your own thing.
    This is for those of you who might need a more elaborate ruse to get away.
  10. Make a goth gingerbread house.
  11. Cultivate an aura of mystery so thick that literally no one knows what to talk to you about.
  12. Befriend the demon from the underworld you summoned.
  13. Listen to the score from The Hours on repeat.
    Someone should do a psychological study on why I literally am always doing this.
  14. Invite your childhood crush over and ask if they want to play Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board.
  15. Research time travel and become overwhelmed by paradoxes.
  16. Invent a new sea creature and convince someone it’s real.
  17. Memorize a Shondaland monologue.
  18. When someone asks you what you’ve been up to, respond with the entire plotline of the feature film Mamma Mia! (2008)
  19. Do…whatever it is the person in this stock image is doing.
    a woman sweeping up a Christmas part in sunglasses next to an easel for some reason
  20. Make a hat from recycled goods.
    I have no idea what this might entail or what kind of hat one can even make, but it seems like it would take up a lot of time and energy so seems like a good redirection.
  21. Have a dramatic friendship breakup with the demon from the underworld you summoned.
    And then write a letter to an advice column asking for help about the situation.
  22. Make an upsetting collage.
  23. Rewrite the lyrics to a pop song to be about your favorite soup.
  24. Propose marriage to the moon.
  25. Figure out how to re-banish the demon from the underworld you summoned if it isn’t too late.

Did you do any of these activities? Let me know in the comments! And let me know if you know how to banish a demon from the underworld for no particular reason hahAha!

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Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya is the managing editor of Autostraddle and a lesbian writer of essays, short stories, and pop culture criticism living in Orlando. She is the assistant managing editor of TriQuarterly, and her short stories appear or are forthcoming in McSweeney's Quarterly Concern, Joyland, Catapult, The Offing, and more. Some of her pop culture writing can be found at The A.V. Club, Vulture, The Cut, and others. You can follow her on Twitter or Instagram and learn more about her work on her website.

Kayla has written 871 articles for us.


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