October is upon us, which means it us our duty, as gays, to celebrate all entire 31 days of Halloween. Talk has turned creepy in our Autostraddle TV Team Slack, and so I asked everyone to help me make a list of spooky lesbian and bisexual TV characters for you to revisit to get your mind right for the season. Below are 15 of them; we’re eager to hear your suggestions in the comments.
Theo Crain, The Haunting of Hill House
If Theo touches you, her psychic powers kick in and she’ll know your whole entire feelings and a lot of stuff about where you’ve been and what you’ve done because she’ll feel it too.
Stahma Tarr, Defiance
Just your average Machiavellian mom and wife whose entire house exists in some kind of Gingham Instagram filter, the centerpiece of which is a giant milk bath. Demures, courtesies, won’t make eye contact, will absolutely poison every single person at the tea party and walk away smiling.
Peach Salinger, Hashtag You on Lifetime
She’s secretly in love with and surveilling and controlling her best friend, and then she gets into a total stalk-off over her with Dan Fuckin’ Humphry.
All the Sarah Paulsons, all the American Horror Stories
Sometimes you’re the victim of an asylum, sometimes you’re the mother of the cult.
Tara Thornton, True Blood
It took five seasons for Tara to get turned into a vampire, but she was hanging out with the spookiest folks in town her entire life before she got those fangs. You’re not going to exist in Sookie Stackhouse’s orbit and come out alive/free of being haunted as all heck.
She’s not a total psychopath, like her psychiatrist, Dr. Hannibal Lecter (maybe you’ve heard of him), but she’s like three-quarters psychopath and maybe the most skilled liar this side of Mona Vanderwaal.
Clarice Willow, Caprica
School teacher, cult leader, domestic terrorist, Mother of Cylons.
Philippa Georgiou, Star Trek: Discovery
Whether she’s casually quoting Sun Tzu in the regular universe or acting as the, um, not-quite-benevolent Emperor Georgiou in the Mirror Universe, she is so sexy terrifying.
Villanelle, Killing Eve
Carmen: I know we all love her but Villanelle is a legit mass murder, just saying.
Drew: Sure Carmen mass murderer of our hearts.
Valerie: Carmen are you saying mass murderers aren’t spooky?
Shana Fring, Pretty Little Liars
There are so many lesbian and bisexual creeps to choose from on Pretty Little Liars, but I’ve gotta go with Shana who was in every episode of that PLL web series set in the Halloween store, did nonstop bidding for both Jenna Marshal and Charlotte DiLaurentis, and took Paige to a gay bar that somehow existed outside of space and time and never appeared again.
Penelope Park, Legacies
As a self-identified “equal opportunity evil temptress” and a literal witch, she is a beautiful heap of chaos. She uses her magic for mayhem, whether it’s to get what she wants, to help the love of her life, Josie, or just for funsies (like the time she gave the entire school enchanted pens that let her read everything they wrote).
The Actual Town of San Junipero
Romantic? …yes? Ominous and also absolutely terrifying? Mmhmm.
Jenny Schecter, The L Word
You will find no greater Jenny Schecter apologist on this great wide internet than me, but even I have to admit that being near her is like being on that Willy Wonka boat ride directly into hell.
Madame Vastra and Jenny, Doctor Who
One of my all-time favorite couples — and also both kind psychopaths who track down serial killers (and maybe eat them alive? unclear). If something’s getting spooky around a holiday, you can count on these two to show up to tea.