Feature image by Charly Triballeu/AFP via Getty Images

My senior year of high school they had us read The Nine: Inside the Secret World of the Supreme Court. This book by Jeffrey Toobin chronicles the U.S. Supreme Court from 1994 to 2005 — when only one known rapist was on the court and Toobin’s own history of sexual harassment had yet to occur. As a teenage Democrat during Obama’s first term, the book affirmed for me that change within the system was not only possible but inevitable. I sped through the book like a supermarket paperback, thrilled by stories of progress happening at the 11th hour as a Republican-appointed judge — usually Sandra Day O’Connor — decided to side with the liberals. Never did I question a system where so many lives could be decided by one person’s whims, because according to the book those whims would always do right.

Ten years ago when the Supreme Court legalized gay marriage, my belief in this American institution had already faltered. While I celebrated the impact of this decision, I felt more concerned with the earlier ruling two years prior to gut the Voting Rights Act. At best, the Supreme Court was a roulette wheel where the bet was human rights.

As expected, we had another losing spin this morning as the court issued its ruling on U.S. v. Skrmetti, a 6-3 decision that upholds the laws that ban healthcare for trans youth. My lack of reverence for the court doesn’t change the devastating impact of this decision. Trans people under 18 will not be able to (legally) access healthcare in at least 25 states. 100,000 trans people will not be able to access the medication deemed medically necessary by their doctors, their parents, and themselves.  

The goal stated plainly by some, merely implied by others, is to eradicate trans people completely. Whether through death or detransition, they want to return to an imagined time when men were men and women were women. This won’t work. Of course it won’t work. Because that time never existed and trans people have survived through periods even harsher than our own.

But I’ve grown frustrated with this fixation on survival. I don’t want to talk to a collective “trans youth” like they’re hanging off a balcony and need to be coaxed back inside. Of course, it’s imperative that we continue to live. Of course, I want trans people impacted by this decision to know there is a future beyond this moment. But there’s something condescending about this focus on suicidality and merely living. 100,000 people lost their healthcare today. Even if every single one of those people live, these laws are still cruel and discriminatory. They still make life harder for people who already have to navigate a hostile world.

As we continue to face political and cultural losses in the U.S., the U.K., and beyond, I don’t want trans people of any age to just keep on living. That’s a bare minimum. I want all of us, young and old, to get access to the healthcare we need even if that requires breaking the law. I want all of us to find community, whether online or in person, that doesn’t just remind us we’re not alone but that makes us laugh and feel challenged and feel seen in ways that go beyond gender identity. I want those of us who are artists to get to create. I want those of us who are athletes to get to compete. I want the world we were fighting for before the tide turned against us. We can still fight for that world.

The truth is most of us will survive. And that includes most of the 100,000 people under 18 affected by this decision. And while that word most holds unbearable tragedy — decisions like the one this morning don’t just lead to suicide, there are a myriad of ways people are endangered when denied healthcare and ostracized from society — I want to know what world we’re creating for everyone who is still here.

This manufactured culture war does not get to determine our hopes for ourselves or for other trans people. Our enemies do not get do decide our goals. So, yes, survive, but then let’s keep fighting for the futures we all deserve. This is not a time for compromise. The Supreme Court does not get to rule on our dreams.

To learn more about this case, read my review of the upcoming documentary Heightened Scrutiny. 

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