What does a lesbian look like? Until a few years ago, mainstream culture was pretty sure they knew the answer to that question, even though they didn’t. The Autostraddle Roundtable tackles passing, why people can’t understand that lesbians can have long hair, and the relationship between gender, style, and sexuality.

Why does gay male sex turn you on if you’re a lesbian and is it okay? Plus, conflicting ideas about isolating & dating during quarantine, cheering up your partner over long distance, parents and mental health and Covid-19, SO MANY mixed signals from your ex wife who’s in another relationship and…should you fuck your boss?!?!?! Things are a mess out there, but at least we have each other and 26 questions from readers like you!

Come on in!

We’ve got 29 gorgeous questions and like 100 answers, so if you need help and you asked for it, you might find it in here. Casual hookups, breakups, threesomes, gender uncertainty, dating a co-worker, letting her down easy and so much more!

“Sepideh Moafi’s tongue is acting. Her tongue has more compelling storylines this season than many of the core characters, I would argue.”

Building power across the lines of cis and trans teaches me that there are many people who will fight alongside trans people to win a better world.

“I think everyone should make love to a plastic spoon at least once in their lifetime.”

Welcome to the first recamp of A-Camp 6.0, in which everybody has a lot to say about the airport, cabins get decorated, campers show up, and opening ceremonies are had.

Whether you’re a lesbian who dated men as a teen or a queer person who dates lots of genders, our community is far too mixed and gender is far too complicated to leave men — cis and trans — out of our discussions.

“I want to read stories about dykes not acting right. I want to read about people being messy. So I want to write about that too.”

Riese: So then we cut to Dylan’s condo or wherever.
Carly: Wherever Dylan lives.
Shannon: Her corporate housing.
Riese: Yeah, her corporate — Dylan has her tea because she’s like, “I’m entertaining a British woman at 11:00 p.m.”
Carly: “So I must make tea!”
Shannon: “Crumpets and tea.”

“You can’t ask me that. Well, you can ask me. But I can’t tell you.”

Unpacking internalized homophobia (and lesbophobia, and biphobia, and transphobia, and misogyny, and MORE) is hard, but for you we did our best!

“I’m throwing them a few bones of facts and things to know. But I’m also calling them to a higher order. Luring them in with the pussy and then challenging them with postcolonial theory.”

“I feel like I’m very much a stickler for how Black church is shown on TV, and I think a lot of people get it wrong in movies and TV a lot, like it just never is quite right. And I feel like Hollywood is that way too. And I felt like this [portrayal of Hollywood] was very accurate, and I was shocked!”

The TV Team weighs in on all our feelings about Sex and the City reboot And Just Like That’s first season: the good, the bad and the Che Diaz.

We had an incredible time on Wednesday talking to the Generation Q cast about filming sex scenes, L Word origin stories, riding losing winning, falling in love with your best friend and so much more! Plus: a full transcript of the podcast!

Happy holidays! And by “happy” I mean, things sure feel really bad right now?? But luckily our gift to you is a virtual one AKA our long-awaited mailbag episode!

“When I was 10, I wrote a letter to Disney asking them what I should do to become an imagineer.”

In anticipation of the Season Two premiere, Mal tells us everything about how The Ultimatum: Queer Love works and what was really going on behind the scenes, from Choice Day procedure to Reunion regrets.