‘Twas the holigay season, and ‘straddlers all ‘cross the land
knew winter was coming when our holigay content went up as planned.
They organized cute parties for ten, hundreds, or more,
And found present ideas from gift guides galore.
Then somewhere in Slack, there arose such a clatter,
As I got excited for the holidays to matter.
I’ve been ready for this since October started,
And it only got worse as Thanksgiving departed.
In fact, I was so excited for the season to come,
That I went looking for seasonal projects for everyone,
And as visions of Pinterest swirled in my head,
I set out to share them, and wrote this for you in bed.
Now queermos! Now ‘straddlers! Now commenters and lurkers!
On crafters and bakers from all faiths and backgrounds!
To the kitchen to cook! To the living room to sew!
Now get on my level! Get festive, you all!
AUTHOR’S NOTE: Despite my predilection for Santa, there’s stuff in here for Christmas, Hanukkah, and just-plain-winter festivities. Have no fear: your experiences are here.
Crafts & DIY
Because We Love You
+ Faux Leather Christmas Collar
+ Lizz once gave you a guide to making different fun kinds of menorahs! Memembah?
+ Make a sock dog and these other cute gifts this year and everyone will fall head-over-heels for you. Promise.
Gender-Neutral Probably Queer Snow People and Their Flakes
Put a Wreath On It
+ Christmas Card Holder Wreath
+ Ornament Wreath w/ Optional Santa Belt
Will You Light My Candle
+ Blue Ice Crystal Candle Holder
Klub (Rein)Deer
No, but like, seriously. All reindeer imagery makes me wish I was at Klub Deer. It makes Christmas a whole lot more queer for me, so I advise this path for you as well.
+ (Or This Glitter Reindeer Art.)
#XXXMAS
The Festival of Crafts
+ Handmade Celebration Crackers
Snow Globes
Things With Strings
+ String Lights Dreidel Garland
Getting Hung
+ If you wanna make dip mix, milk flavor, or hot cocoa ornaments, you need to head on over here and get cookin’.
Next: Recipes & Food, plus Inspiration, Links & Lists!
Recipes & Food
From the Archives: Get Baked, Toasted, And Joyful
+ Irish Coffee For When It’s Cold Outside
+ Chestnuts Roasting On an Open Fire
+ Get Toasted with Autostraddle: The Holigay Drinkstravaganza
+ Get Toasted with Autostraddle: A Very Special Holiday Drinking Edition
Gingerbread Structures
I’m thinking that artistic interpretations can include “dessert rendition of the place you wanna crawl into when your family all sits down to dinner.”
He Sees You When You’re Cooking and Other Christmas Tales
+ Santa’s Belly Marshmallow Pops
Everyone loves a good belt buckle, y’know?
I was gonna save the best for last, but I love you too much to hold this pizza out on you.
Blue and White Frosting Forever
+ Chocolate Peppermint Rice Krispie Balls
Petition to dedicate these to Drake and call them “Drizzy Dreidel” cookies instead. Nothing would ever be the same.
+ Blue and White Velvet Cupcakes
Non-Denominational Festive Celebration Food
+ Edible Wrapper White Chocolate Snow Person Cupcakes
+ Sunny Day Snow Person Cookies
These are my absolute favorite, mostly because of the silliness factor, and also because of that snowman’s total O Face.
(Or add two donuts and make a snow person on a stick. You do you.)
+ Nutter Butter Snow People Cookies
+ Cinnamon Applesauce Heart Ornaments
+ Remember Vanessa’s HoliGAY cake? I miss Vanessa.
You’re a Mean One
THE REST: Inspiration, Lists, and Links
This just seemed important.
+ Creative Christmas tree ideas for small, cozy homes.
+ Wanna paint your nails? Or maybe just one, because femme flagging. Either way, there’s some real festive ideas out there.
+ I found, like, a lot of Hanukkah printables for you.
+ Also see: printable Hanukkah wine labels, paper dreidels.
+ Or, like, print out these printables and build a DIY photo booth, if that’s more your lane. (And these printable props!)
+ And look at this fucking printable village.
+ 25 ways to tie a bow, ’cause I’m bad at it. Also, a while ago, Laura taught us how to wrap gifts and make good plays on rap song titles.
+ Looking for a gift that’s less “did it myself” and more “arranged it thematically myself?” Try these gift basket ideas.
+ Fold your napkins into trees, because you can. (Or like an Elf Hat.)
+ I’m really confounded by the idea of an elf on a shelf but if you have one at your disposal, I recommend doing these 50 tricks with it. Or just build it a kissing booth.
+ Holiday Office Party Hacks. Because it matters.
+ Probably you could read our entire holigay archive for some inspiration, unless you’re not exactly like me.
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That poem adaptation is amazing! Also I think you may have inadvertently cloned one of my pinterest boards.
#pinterestlife
WOW thank you for putting this massive list of wonderful holigay things together. Now excuse me while I proceed to decorate my house with ALL THE GARLANDS.
I need finals to be over so I can spend weeks baking and decorating my apartment!!!! Oh and crafting gifts for people
I FEEL you. School is impeding upon my holigays…
Gahhhh!I’m so excited! I’ve been looking for easy ways to bring the Christmas spirit into mine and my girlfriend’s place! We have a tree! And wrapped gifts! And we decorated stockings! And I painted a clear ornament I got and set it out! Now we just need more! And this list has it!!
Gahhhh!I’m so excited! I’ve been looking for easy ways to bring the Christmas spirit into mine and my girlfriend’s place! We have a tree! And wrapped gifts! And we decorated stockings! And I painted a clear ornament I got and set it out! Now we just need more! And this list has it!!
I just love this list.
so much to be merry about!
I wish I were an adequate baker so I could bake and eat all of the things. Especially the gingerbread, which seems sadly absent from this part of the world… Maybe I’ll cheer myself up by making stuff out of paper :)
Those Christmas light balls, though. If I were paying the electric bill by myself, all the illumination would be christmas lights. I’d happily burn to death in the inevitable electrical fire.
This is a great list! I wish I had more time to make gifts for people. I especially like the drink/cocoa/dip mixes in ornaments!
YES this is wonderful. Just what I needed to get into the holiday spirit. Nutter Butters decorated like snowpeople, combined with the holiday drinks article, might be the only thing that can make me feel okay about wintertime.
Also the pinecone Christmas tree is the cutest thing ever. That’s gonna be my project this weekend. I feel really behind on the holigays because my roommate has already done all her Christmas shopping and cards…I’m still working on Thanksgiving leftovers.
Autostraddle…this is exactly what I needed. I love you…thank you!!! Seriously, thank you for taking your time to compile this amazing list. I am so excited for the holigays, y’all.
well, this is fucking epic
If there were a single craft to summarize my childhood, it would be the paper snowflake. I made so many of them as a kid and stuck them all over windows everywhere (though sometimes they were rectangular, depending on the paper I used). They were the best! All you did was cut triangles and voila! A masterpiece unfolded, unique each time! I was an artist making replicas of nature’s crystals that I caught on my gloves and looked at under my little 20x microscope. As a kid, I was naive to the perils of driving and commuting to work in the elements, and so snow was nothing more than beautiful awesomeness.
Also, I would agree that the hot chocolate guide is indeed important. So many wonderful ideas!
All these deer/reindeer projects and all I can think about is Klub Deer! <3
Now I want to make ALL the glitter things!
I am making chestnuts RIGHT NOW.
A. I appreciate all the Chanukah stuff. I’m not one of the Chosen, but I love a Heb, so this was really exciting. I anticipate our apt being a blue and white, candle-lit dreamland.
B. I too miss Vanessa.
C. My office staff is going to get hella awesome and cute homemade gifts this year. Thanks for making me a better boss Carmen.
this is excellent timing for someone (like me) who is suddenly in charge of coming up with awesome ideas for a holiday party. LOVE the DIY photobooth! and a lot of the crafty ideas that will definitely be used in the next few weeks!