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Holigay Gift Guide: Your Gay Parent Friends Are Exhausted, Send Help!

I’ve been a mom for so long, I barely remember not being a mom. As a group of people, parents, especially moms, are notoriously shit at receiving gifts. Whenever people ask me what I want for Christmas, I’m legit stumped. I rarely think about the things I need because I’m always concerned about what everyone else needs. Usually, I tell people to get me a gift card for Starbucks or Target — those are two of the places I go the most often and where I spend most of my money anyway. You can never go wrong with a gift card to their favorite place.

Buying a gift for a parent is tough because the thing most of us want is sleep or rest. If you have the means, taking your friend’s kids for a few hours so they can get some quiet time to read a book with a cup of their favorite beverage would be the best gift ever. Or arrange for you two to have some friend time, but the key is making sure childcare is already sorted, because they will absolutely never be able to get that shit together on their own. But if you want to buy them a gift that you can order or pick up, these are the gifts most tired parents would love.

Comfort is Key

I love being cozy, especially now that it’s wintertime. A sherpa lined throw blanket is great for the couch where your parent friend finds herself fighting to stay up and watch one more episode of whatever show they’re trying to binge. Cozy often means fluffy slippers (my partner and my son both have a pair of these and love them!) or fleece pjs. But it could also be strapping on the ol’ heating pad while you watch TV because your muscles are aching. I also love cozy scents, and this cinnamon vanilla candle smells like a snickerdoodle.


I am absolute crap at self-care. I don’t mean things like showering or making sure I drink water (I’m extra terrible at that), but doing things for myself and my body that make it feel better. A depuffing facial roller is good for early mornings when you slept like crap because your kid had you up all night with a tummy ache. Rosebud Salve is my go-to for anything from dry lips to rubbing on a raw nose because I’ve been blowing it too much. I’ve recently started doing foot masks because summer does a number on my feet. The body cream is thick and smells so good. And everyone deserves a massager, especially with heat. Good for those days when you “slept funny” and can’t turn your head anymore.

Everyday Essentials

Every parent loves convenience. Whether that be the ease of cooking in a slow cooker (this one travels since it’s the holiday season) or an air fryer that does everything, they want it. I have a hydration issue, but drinking water out of a double wall bottle makes it more bearable. Caffeine is a must for any tired mom, some prefer an espresso based drink, and some prefer tea. We also have a habit of letting our hot drinks get cold, which is less likely in a cute pink insulated cup with metal straws.

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Sa'iyda Shabazz

Sa'iyda is a writer and mom who lives in LA with her partner, son and 3 adorable, albeit very extra animals. She has yet to meet a chocolate chip cookie she doesn't like, spends her free time (lol) reading as many queer romances as she can, and has spent the better part of her life obsessed with late 90s pop culture.

Sa'iyda has written 125 articles for us.


  1. Childcare! Please! Also housecleaning (either direct help or a gift certificate) is great. Not having to do the dishes is a wonderful gift.

    …also brb about to buy myself that whole back heating pad.

  2. I got myself a shoulder massager similar to the one above and I love it! I keep trying to figure out a good foot massager, as my poor feet keep feeling tired. I’ve bought good shoes, I just need some better slippers. Oh well.

    I had a friend mom ask what I’m doing for myself that’s not kid related. I appreciated the question, as almost everything I do is for my kids, but I’ve also finally gotten on the sourdough wagon and am enjoying baking and cooking with my discard and making whole wheat sourdough for my parents!

    I also want to try making jun, which is kind of like kombucha but uses honey instead of sugar.

    My favorite gift I’ve received was a drill set from my mom. I love showing my kids how to fix things around the house. Also one year when things were a bit crazy, my best friend helped with shopping for gifts for my younger kids. It was so helpful!

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