For My Own Pleasure: Hiring a Sex Worker as a Queer Woman

"Oh God. I'm so sorry. I feel like a massive dork."

"Why?"

"It's been so long. Like, over a year. I feel like I've forgotten how all of this works. Also I'm just a very awkward person in general."

"You'll be fine."

She kisses me. I hold on to her arms lightly, not wanting to hurt her, not wanting to weird her out, make her uncomfortable. She's here for me: I'd hired her for exactly that, and she agreed to it, and she's here. Blonde cropped hair, geeky tattoos befitting her name, tall and solid with a soft touch.

She kisses me and I try to not feel guilty about the next hour being solely for my pleasure.

This isn't the first time that I've been a sex work client. I've visited strip clubs before — sometimes with partners, sometimes alone. I had a go at Bondassage (essentially sensation play) and even tried Neo-Tantra after years of railing against its culture of white people exotifying Indian and Hindu culture only to turn to me with the expectation that I'm some so...

You Have Reached A+ Content!

98% of the content on this website is available to everybody for free, but this is one of the 1-2 posts we publish each month just for Silver and Gold A+ members. We also publish an additional 2-3 posts a month available to all A+ members (Bronze, Silver and Gold). WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? WHY ARE WE DOING THIS? Well, because...

We Need Your Help.

This might be an awkward way to ask for it, but here goes: we know you like Autostraddle, and we like you a whole lot too. Advertisers and investors, on the other hand? Well, independently-owned politically progressive LGBTQ women's media isn't exactly their thing. It's do or die for us now: either we shore up enough reader support to compensate for the slowdown in ad sales and increasing competition from corporate-owned LGBTQ media, or we shut down altogether.

That's why we've created Autostraddle Plus. It's a way for loyal readers like you to support the site for as little as $5 a month, and in return get a peek behind the curtain of Autostraddle with posts like this one, A+ swag, podcasts, Insider "newsletters," and essays/interviews from the previously-very-hidden parts of our hearts, souls and pants. Best of all, you're helping us keep Autostraddle.com free for everybody — free of cost, and also free from the inevitable compromises made by sites that cater to marketers, not readers.

A+ is a sustainable way for queer people and allies to opt into a system that financially supports other queer people. With the support of readers like you, we can pay our writers, diversify our team and continue to coordinate the worldwide meet-ups that have changed so many lives.

Read more information about A+

Subscribe to gold or silver level to read this post
Already a member? Sign in

Creatrix Tiara's philosophy is to sign up for anything that look interesting, which gets her into some fun adventures. She's passionate about liminality, inclusivity, and intersectionality, especially in arts, media, tech, games, fandom, education, and activism.

Creatrix has written 25 articles for us.