Chez Fawcett: Lauren and her Ladies are crunching away on their exercise balls while setting themselves up for The Big Fight Scene about an Imaginary Conflict — except Amy doesn’t want a staged fight scene. Nor does she want scantily clad girls doing crunches on exercise balls, apparently.
Amy wants queer activism and inspiration! So when the doorbell rings, Lauren is expecting Lila — for the Big Fight Scene, obviously — but it’s not Lila.
It’s Raven! IT’S SO RAVEN! Raven’s a person from the “intersex community” that Amy thinks Lauren could “connect with” on screen. Fun fact: this is the first time in television history that an intersex person is being played by an intersex actor. The actor’s name is Amanda Saenz. I’m gonna go out on a limb here and suggest that Amy fall in love with her and that Raven fall in love with Amy. Just an idea!
Anyhow, back to the actual show: Lauren is horrified by Raven’s arrival.
Over at Ze & Zim’s Big Night, Karma’s feeling shitty about Shane’s new arrangement and Liam, one again wearing a shirt I also own because we are style twins, says she’s got nothing to be nervous about.
He says the Karma he knows deserves the spotlight, and then he kisses her on the lips. Then he says he’s sorry for kissing her, but then he takes it back, because he’s not sorry! There’s something still there between them and he’s not gonna apologize for kissing her! Liam and Karma decide to chat about their relationship after the big show.
Set of Keeping Up With Lauren: Raven finishes telling her story, which ends with her connecting to her online community and finding a lot of strength in it, and now she wants to hear Lauren’s. But Lauren is, as she has reminded us many times, not ready for that!
Lauren: Nothing to tell, really. I’m just Lauren Cooper, NORMAL GIRL.
Raven: But the whole concept of “Normal” is so subjective, you know? What does it really even mean?
Lauren: You know, “normal.” Some people are normal and some people —
Then Lauren short-circuts, Stepford Wives-style, and segues messily into talking about eyeshadow. Raven’s not having it — she thought Lauren wanted to be an intersex spokesperson. Lauren’s like, NO I MOST CERTAINLY DO NOT WANT TO BE AN INTERSEX SPOKESPERSON.
Lauren’s done with the shoot now, but Amy’s excited: here, finally, is the raw emotion they need to make this impromptu documentary win at all the obscure queer film festivals! Felix, the voice of reason, advises Amy to go work this out with Lauren, privately, one-on-one. He also suggests the reason Amy’s doing this documentary is to avoid thinking about Karma? Which, as far as distraction tactics go, I’d say “making an inspirational documentary about an intersex spokesperson” is a pretty solid one. I mean one time my best friend told this big huge lie that led me to realize our entire life together was a lie and to distract myself, I started Autostraddle. I think that was a good idea.
Amy heads upstairs to chit-chat with Lauren.
Lauren: “Leave me alone or I will take that camera, shove it down your throat and document your insides.”
Lauren wanted this documentary to be about her life, not about being intersex. Then she goes for the jugular: if it’s so important to make a documentary about “her people” then why isn’t Amy making a documentary about HER people, huh?
Lauren: OH that’s right… because you’re still “on your journey” and “refuse a label,” how convenient. Well I didn’t get to pick my label, I’m stuck with it and I’m doing the best I can, okay.
Amy apologizes for getting carried away: it’s just that she thought they were doing something cool that could change the world, and she thinks Lauren’s one of the only people she knows who have a shot at doing that. It’s a sweet honest moment between Amy and Lauren.
Back at Java Juice Java Juice Cream Cooler Mochachino Macchiato Coffee Dino-Rock Beat Box Music Shop, Karma and Shane are gonna cover “Somebody to Love” by Freddie Mercury, I guess? They also have a back-up band. It’s probably the guys from Glee. Shane’s hair is blue and he’s not buttoning his shirt up all the way and Karma is doing fringe again.
Right now my dog is sitting by the door in my office with her back to me staring at the hallway like she is waiting for something cooler than me to happen? But I’m the only one here!
Also Shane has unplugged Karma’s mic? So then she unplugs his? And then something breaks and the entire band stops playing? But nobody wants to figure out what happened, they just want to storm offstage. Noah tells Shane he was just trying to psych him out, not mess up the whole damn situation.
If you want to go watch the Glee cover of “Somebody to Love” right now I won’t judge you.
Chez Fawcett: Felix is doing his hourly Visually Sober Check-In with Pops when Amy pops in, still wearing that same weird shirt situation she’s been wearing all episode. Felix tells Amy that it’s okay, she can talk to him about Karma, but Amy says she can’t talk about it because talking about it makes it real. Also real? How quickly Amy tears up talking about talking about it.
Oh yeah and then this:
Amy: “Remind me when is that six month no dating thing over?”
Felix: “Midnight New Year’s Eve.”
Back at the Java Joint, Karma tells Shane that he is The Worst and that he Ruined the Only Thing she felt Kinda Good About and that he is not a real friend. Real friends are there when you need them, she shouts, as her phone blows up like a piñata. She is correct on all of these points! Shane’s not a good friend.
Listen up ladies, it’s time to get real. It’s a big moment for Lauren, she’s ready, she’s doing it, she’s ready for her confessional:
Lauren: Okay, so yeah. Maybe I am afraid to open up. Maybe I am scared to face reality. ever since I was found out I was born different, I’ve done everything I could to be an normal girl. But somebody asked me today what normal even means and I didn’t have a good answer. Maybe I need to find one.
Aw. YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE NORMAL LAUREN, NORMAL IS BORING, JUST BE YOURSELF
Meanwhile, Liam’s still waiting for Karma to come and talk about their relationship, but she never shows. You know who does show though, right?
Supervisor asks Liam on a date and he says yes.
So we cut to the hospital. Karma’s rushing in, teary-eyed, asking about her Dad, who apparently had a heart attack. I definitely won’t have any feelings about this storyline. The receptionist says they’re still working on him, but is he gonna be okay? She’s gonna go find out. In the meantime, Karma’s Real Friend is here:
Next week on Faking It, Karma’s parents (including her Dad, so he’s alive!) will have big news for her, Amy and Lauren will try and get their parents back together, and Liam and Shane will have dinner with the Rabbi and his daughter, who is Liam’s Totes Innaprops Date. You can look forward to Amy wearing this: