“Enchanted Pussy” Smells Like Direct Deposit and [Redacted]

Feature Image photo by Yulia Khlebnikova via UnSplash

A few weeks ago, I watched a YouTube video by a woman who was reviewing her many fig perfumes. If you know me, you know I love figs and own a few fragrances myself, my favorite being the Roger & Gallet Fleur de Figuier. It’s affordable, smells sweet and figgy, and always gets me compliments.

After watching this video and taking notes on a few of the new ones I wanted to buy, I was immediately met with many Instagram ads about new fragrances on all of my devices, work and otherwise. Chopping it up to the absolute freak shit of the algorithm, I didn’t care too much. Until I saw one ad, and my thumb hovered above my screen, and I clicked.

The brand, The Fragrance Bar, boasted being Black-owned and having scents that were alcohol-free. So, I bit. The first fragrance I saw on their website was called:

Enchanted Pussy

Being the good little freak I am, I immediately took a screenshot and posted it to my Instagram story. My next story was a simple question: “What do you think enchanted pussy smells like?”

People took their shots at guessing, mostly woodsy stuff with a few people shooting their shot at me by trying to tempt me with their enchanted pussies and then—Shelli Nicole convinced me to buy it. In a few short days, I was going to get to the bottom of what an Enchanted Pussy smelled like.


The website said it had notes of strawberry, praline, and jasmine.

Hm………

I was on board with the first two but the last one threw me for a loop. I thought about the jasmine green teas I had drank or the jasmine my friend had in her apartment and I couldn’t put my finger on what the scent profile of this would be. Would it be sweeter or more floral? Would the nuttiness of the praline come through? Would wearing it make my pussy enchanting to unwitting passersby? So much to consider!

The package came very carefully wrapped on Thursday, July 21 with a few others I was waiting for—but I had to get at Enchanted Pussy first. I opened it, set down the vial, had the thought “What if it’s poison?” then took a sniff.

As I type this, I take the vial and swirl it under my nose like a fine wine. I’m trying to paint the picture for you. The perfume is a light pink and a little on the thick side as far as viscosity goes. I smell it again: it’s very strawberry forward. The sweetness of the berry hits you first. You then get that mix of the nutty, caramel-y, praline.

I’m searching for the jasmine, plundering into the depths of my nostrils for it, but it won’t come forward, or it is so lost in the sweetness of the strawberry and praline that it comes off as bashful. Then, I grab it. The jasmine is that sharp smell at the end of the note that reads as expensive.

Enchanted Pussy smells like your rich Black auntie that you’ll maybe see on a holiday.

Enchanted Pussy smells like your coworker that just got the supervisor position and went out and got new hair.

Enchanted Pussy smells like your first time in a Tesla. You ignore all you know about the company and just revel in the feeling of luxury.

Enchanted Pussy smells like direct deposit.

Enchanted Pussy smells like giving and receiving the best head of your life then laying in an air-conditioned room and playing in each other’s curls.

Enchanted Pussy smells like being sexy and knowing it.


It’s a very Black fragrance, I don’t know how else to tell you this.

I put a little on my wrist and walk around my apartment smelling myself. I’m suddenly overcome with the urge to re-download Tinder. Why am I suddenly turned on? Why am I imagining romancing some fine older Black woman on my green velvet couch?

I know I’m not about to invite a date over with COVID and monkeypox in my area, but damn, I’m suddenly flush and wanting somebody to ENCHANT my pussy if you know what I mean!!!

So now I’m on Tinder, floating around in my area, swiping right on all the fine Black women I can see. Maybe absolutely nothing will come of this, which is when I get the brightest of ideas. I should just go masturbate!

Yes, the perfect solution. Feel sexy without having to worry about bringing illness into my coveted home.

I keep bringing the vial or my wrist to my nose and inhaling, trying to get all of the little nooks and crannies of scent in my nostrils. When I read the description, I didn’t think I’d like it. I’m much more drawn to woodsy, deep smells like fig, vetiver, cardamom, sandalwood, the list could go on.

A smell as sweet as Enchanted Pussy just didn’t feel like me, but, could it be me? Am I enchanted enough?! Do I have that je ne sais quoi? Do I have the kind of power to pull off a scent like this?

Maybe I should wait until I turn 30. This is a scent for a woman in her thirties that constantly reminds you she’s in her thirties and doesn’t have the time!

Enchanted Pussy is the woman I wanna be and the woman I want to come home to. Maybe if I’m lucky enough I’ll get to have both.


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danijanae

Dani Janae is a poet and writer based out of Pittsburgh, PA. When she's not writing love poems for unavailable women, she's watching horror movies, hanging with her tarantula, and eating figs. Follow Dani Janae on Twitter and on Instagram.

Dani has written 106 articles for us.

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