ONE OF THE MOST FAMOUS BRAINS EVER UNDER THE KNIFE: If you took Psych 101 and didn’t sleep through all of it, you’ll have heard of patient HM. Or if you saw Memento, he was kind of like that dude. Patient HM had a debilitating seizure disorder, so some wacky mad scientists in 1953 removed both of his hippocampi (yes, that is the plural of hippopotamus). He couldn’t create new long term memories after the surgery (whoops!), so basically if you were his nurse or researcher or whatever you’d go nuts having to constantly reintroduce yourself.
Continuing in the grand tradition of HM being psychology’s perhaps most high profile lab rat, Scientists at UCSD dissected his brain and STREAMED IT LIVE! I’m so happy that we are in the era of the overshare, because I really wanted to see his brain. Unfortunately, while watching the dissection seemed (way) exciting, it turned out to be just like watching the deli slice your cold cuts behind the meat counter. Weird.
Wait, he died on December 2, 2008? Ew. That’s kind of a stale brain.
WHY DID THEY DO THIS TO ME: Wired Magazine aka my favorite thing ever apparently has a pop-up holiday store that just opened in NYC! And then I WENT BROKE. Oh yeah, that’s why they did it to me.
DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS PLAYERS GET LAID TOO: What, you thought nerds didn’t get any action? Think again. D&D players school us on sex.
RETAIL HELLSEASON IN FULL SWING: I always ask retail workers if they can check “the back” when my coveted gadget, type of milk (2%) or high threadcount holiday sheet set is conspicuously absent from the shelf. BUT WHAT IS THE BACK?! ANSWER ME. Finally we know!
CUTEST CAT MEME EVAR? Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. THIS KITTEN IS SO SURPRISED WHY ISN’T THIS VIDEO LONGER?!
I’M NOT SURE THESE COUNT AS FEMALE GAMERS: The Today Show shows us that women love gaming too! Except, they only love it to work out on Wii Yoga and shit. Because burning calories is the main thing women love because that in turn makes men love them and them love themselves or something.
Happily, an editor from Wired does his little part to refute the idiocy of this, noting that from an informal survey of his female friends, the top three most played games included Resident Evil (ZOMBIES! DEATH! GORE! WIN!), Mario stuff and Guitar Hero.
Unfortunately, the Today Show correspondent mainly just ignores him and runs frantically on that goddamn Wii mat like a hamster on a wheel.