Boob(s On Your) Tube: The Mother of Dragons is Probably Totally Bisexual

Some actual good stuff happened on TV this weekend, y’all! And not a moment too soon.


Game of Thrones

Sunday on HBO at 9:00 p.m.

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Stacy is not taken to flights of fancy when it comes to two women doing it on TV. In fact, she basically assumes all women on TV are straight and that the gay ones are going to die. So when she came crashing into our bedroom on Sunday night, breathless and urging me to hurry downstairs to watch an important scene from Game of Thrones, I knew I was in for a real treat. Remember when I told you about Yara Greyjoy from the Iron Islands and how she had some gay intercourse with another woman before she set off with her fleet of ships to track down the Mother of Dragons? Well, Yara has now traversed the Narrow Sea and arrived in Daenerys’ presence.

For starters, Dany’s feeling real good. Some slave masters showed up and fired flaming cannons at her city and demanded their slaves back, and so she just hopped onto one of her dragons and summoned her other two dragons from their place of captivity and flew on out to the ocean and set the Masters and their ships on fire. I don’t know a lot about Game of Thrones, but I know Daenerys Targeryan gets off on burning condescending men alive. So, yes, she was feeling a-okay when Yara and her brother, Theon, wandered into her throne room talking about alliances.

Yara wants Daenerys to back her claim to the Salt Throne in exchange for ferrying her army across the sea so she can reclaim the Iron Throne. The Mother of Dragons is never particularly impressed with people, but Yara makes her mouth twitchy with smiles and also makes her eyebrows go bonkers on her face. Dany wants to know if the Iron Islands have ever had a queen, and Yara says no more than Westeros has had a queen. Dany wants to know if Yara’s father was an asshole like the rumors say he was, and Yara says she and Dany have that in common too. Theon explains that their uncle is building even more ships and plans to bring them over and offer them to Dany, but for the price of backing his claim to the Salt Throne and also for the price of marrying him.

Daenerys: And I imagine your offer is free from any marriage demands.
Yara: I never demand, but I’m up for anything really.

Khaleesi is so delighted with Yara’s audacious flirting that her face does a thing I’ve never seen it do before. They make a pact to support each other, kill some misogynist uncles, and see where it goes from there.

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Veep

Sunday on HBO at 10:30 p.m.

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Catherine’s film about her mother’s presidential legacy finally made its way into the world on Sunday night and it was glorious. I mean, it’s a terrible film, of course — but it comes at season five from a completely different angle (literally), allowing us to see what happens in Selina’s orbit when she’s not in the room. What was particularly delightful was how it dug deeper into Catherine and Marjorie’s relationship, from their first date to a quiet morning in bed to their breakup when Marjorie refused to introduce Catherine to her parents as her girlfriend to their reconciliation.

In a surprising but brilliant move, the main question of the season — Will Congress allow Selina to stay in office? — is answered right as Marjorie steps in front of the camera to tell Catherine that she loves her. It’s a huge moment of triumph for Veep’s most overlooked and overshadowed character; in fact, it brings her into the literal forefront of the story at the most important moment of Selina’s career. We hear the answer to the Big Question and see Selina react in the background, behind Marjorie’s body.

The name of Catherine’s film is “Kissing Your Sister” and it has its own website. The “our influences” and “upcoming projects” made me cackle-laugh.


Wynonna Earp

Friday on Syfy at 9:00 p.m.

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Dang, kittens, if this isn’t the sweetest, most tender gay love story I’ve seen on TV in a long, long time. This week, Haught tries to help Waverly heal from her gunshot wound, but the touching makes them bonkers so they just start ripping their clothes off and prepping to do it right there in the Earp barn. They are interruped by Willa, who is kind of mad that Waverly didn’t tell her she’s gay and figures Wynonna’s going to be kind of mad too. Waverly doesn’t care, to be honest; she just wants to make out with her girlfriend.

And so she does just that, again, at the end of the night at a fancy party where everyone is going berserk because they drank hexed champagne. Particularly Champ is going berserk because of the booze and also because of the homophobia and also because of the jealousy. He tries to attack his ex-girlfriend, and then his ex-girlfriend’s new girlfriend steps to him and wallops him in the face with her fist and that’s that. It’s a delight! Haught’s gotta go fight the bad guys, but before she does, Waverly grabs her and smooches her right on the mouth in their fancy dresses right in front of everyone. It’s a very good way to come out. 10/10. Would watch again.


Scream

Monday on MTV at 11:00 p.m.

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Audrey got totally Pretty Little Liar-ed on this week’s Scream. Some nefarious, anonymous person planted a bloody corkscrew in her car, so she disposed of it in the dumbest way possible (by digging a shallow little hole just inside the treeline of the woods and burying it there), so of course when she woke up, Scream’s A had retrieved the bloody corkscrew and put it under her covers with her. Scream’s A is messing with her because they know she had a tie to season one’s Big Bad, even though she herself was not the Big Bad. Also Audrey made out with her best friend, Noah, hopped up on a drug cocktail at a regatta gala. It was kind of a threesome and she was kind of hallucinating that Noah was her dead girlfriend (but resurrected). Anyway, then a dead body fell from the sky. #DramaBomb


The Fosters

Monday on Freeform at 9:00 p.m.

The Fosters returned to Freeform last night and while I do plan to do standalone recaps for it again this season, I couldn’t make myself watch and recap a school shooting episode this week. I just need a minute. Hopefully I’ll be ready to go next week.

Heather Hogan is an Autostraddle managing editor who lives in New York City with her partner, Stacy, and their cackle of rescued pets. She's a member of the Television Critics Association, the Gay and Lesbian Entertainment Critics Association, and a Rotten Tomatoes Tomatometer critic. You can also find her on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

Heather has written 806 articles for us.

48 Comments

  1. Honestly, the Waverly/Haught storyline is the main reason I’m watching Wynnona Earp. The show’s main storyline is kinda all over the map, but Waverly is a treat and should get more airtime. I’m already bored of Willa.

    • I tried the first few eps of Wynonna Earp, and it was so terrible I couldn’t continue. But of course, queer youtubers are alllllllll over this shit, so I just watch the WayHaught scenes after every episode – that’s enough for me!

        • For me, it’s cuz the plot is alllll over the damn place and they don’t really develop things well. But there’s some fun moments, and it doesn’t take itself too seriously. “Bad” is always relative and I never quite know why I enjoy one bad show but can’t get into another. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

        • Hey @isabela sorry I”m just getting back to you now. My biggest problem wasn’t necessarily that the premise was bad, but that the mythology didn’t hold together, like, AT ALL. Lost Girl is really the best comparison. The queer relationship is great, the female characters are great, but the plots and dialogue and some of the acting, the shitty shitty production values were just such a turn-off for me. Seriously, the main villain is a guy named – I kid you not – BOBO! – who shaves his chest and has a ridiculous beard.

          I wrote some comments back on some of the earlier B(OY)T about it, but pretty much it comes down to me not wanting to, AGAIN, dedicate my time to watching a shitty show just because there are queer women on it, and wondering why we can’t get good quality queer representation on shows that are also well written, tightly-plotted, with high production values and top-notch acting? Where are THOSE shows?

          If you don’t mind that stuff, then go watch, it, and more power to you! In this year of queer death, I’m never gonna begrudge someone for watching a show where the EP has promised the queer women survive the season

      • It’s not very good, but sweartagawd that theme song draws me in every time! And then I stay for the WayHaught. And also because now I’m curious what the story is with Agent Dolls. WHAT IS HIS DEAL.

  2. Given everything that’s happened on TV this year, Wynonna Earp has come as such a relief. It’s a nice break from misery to watch a cheesy, campy show that doesn’t take itself too seriously and has a cute, fairly drama free queer relationship. I really hope it gets renewed.

  3. I got home last night and considered watching the Outlander episode I missed this weekend, and considered watching The Fosters premiere, and then decided fuck it, I’ve had enough misery this week, and watched three episodes of Gilmore Girls instead. I’ll get to them someday, but fuck I’m so sick of death and misery. The Person of Interest series finale tonight is probably going to kill me.

    Does anyone have any good comedies to recommend I watch? I’ve got 4 seasons of Parks and Rec to go, and then I need something else happy and uplifting to watch.

      • Yeaaaah this was my problem. I tried it a few years ago in my post-West Wing search for more political TV. And that was a baaaaad idea because in comparison to TWW, Veep just has such a NEGATIVE view of politics, and literally every character was TERRIBLE. Thus why I went with Parks & Rec instead. But the more I see people talk about it on here, the more I feel like maybe I should try it again.

      • Yes I’ve been watching Brooklyn to counteract the recent horrors of tv. I love how the humour is mostly inclusive of its diverse cast rather than offensive like some sitcoms tend to be. And there are no lesbian characters yet so no need to worry on that front…

  4. “Stacy . . . basically assumes all women on TV are straight and that the gay ones are going to die.” This is also my pov. That said, (hope is a thing with feathers, and all that) I would love if Dany were given a good bi storyline. So I’ll send this out into the ether: Please GoT overlords, give Dany and Yara some loving time.

  5. Dany had more chemistry with Yara in, like, two seconds of screen time than she’s had with any of the ten millions dudes she’s interacted with for six seasons now. Delightful.

    Yara’s probably not long for the world (since no one is safe on GoT) so maybe they shouldn’t go there, but also they should totally go there.

    • Agreed 100%. I really hope they do something awesome with the Yara/Daenerys dynamic just because it’s there. It’s one of those times when you cross your fingers that the directors and producers are actually watching the footage and reacting to the chemistry. But yeah, she’s probably gonna die.

    • yup nobody in GoT is safe but that’s even more of a reason to go for it while they can.

      also, pure beauty. i love how Yara panders to Dany’s tribalist political belief in being special, purely for her own sleaze objectives. i’m too old and have quit 2week vegan conversions and faked tribal signalling, purely because i can’t be bothered anymore – but it is always beautiful to watch younger and more full of energy girls do this, it’s like hackers in the romanticised sense that goes with cyberpunk antiheroes.

      • Poor Dany in the books. She just wants some good lovin’ but she thinks Irri’s kisses “taste too much of duty”.

        I am FEELING THIS Yara/Dany thing in the show and boy oh boy I hope she kicks Daario to the curb (or leaves him in Meereen) and spends some salt wife time with Yara. Dany’ is DUE for some TLC. As many have said, she’s had more chemistry in 30 seconds of screen time with Yara than ANY of the dudes they’ve paired her with.

  6. Yeah, about Heather’s grading of “Wynonna Earp”, “10/10. Would watch again.”
    Who are you fooling, Heather? We all know that you’ve already watched it again. Probably three or four…or fifty times.

  7. Awful new Freeform show Guilt seems to have an f/f couple among the side characters. They’re also prostitutes and one of them might be a pimp? IDK, this is a bad show that doesn’t make much sense. If I don’t quit this bad show I’ll keep commenting with updates.

  8. I think my favorite thing Veep has ever done is that scene with Jonah getting kicked out of that elementary school. I cackled for a good five minutes after that. Followed by Selina trying to comfort Catherine in typical Selina fashion.

  9. Hi! First time commenter and recent (recovering) Scream TV series binge-watcher here. 🙂 I just wanted to point out that your Scream summary is a bit off this week – the “dead guy” actually fell from the ceiling at a local pageant ceremony, not at the party (where everyone was unwittingly drugged by the killer and) Audrey made out with Noah. This season’s Big Bad is all about the perfectly-timed spectacle!

  10. I’ve been so numb about Orlando that I haven’t cried or anything, just been bitterly resigned to this reality. But The Fosters got me really good last night, like the real world in my queer fantasy world was too much and I was overcome with emotions. So on one hand it was so terribly timed, but on the other hand I got to acknowledge my emotions without feeling like I was letting hatred get anything from me. I look forward to the formal recap. Also am considering getting back into GoT now, curse you Heather!

  11. After finishing OITNB tonight I thought I would watch The Fosters just to get all the scary tv out of the way. It was a tough episode but honestly the promo for the next one scares me more. Why does everything continue to suck?

  12. I’m still so happy about WayHaught on ‘Wynonna Earp’. I love that show to pieces <3 I know it can be a bit all over the place sometimes, but Melanie Scrofano's facial expressions as Wynonna are always perfection, as are the one liners, and she's just a really awesome character in general. I was way into the show even before I knew about WayHaught. But they do make it even better – they're great on their own and together. I seriously hope this show gets renewed, it so deserves it. As do I, tbh! This is exactly the kind of thing I wanna see on my screen, and even what I'd wanna write (I enjoy a cheesy show as long as it's the good kind of cheesy which this is, and I don't mind if a storyline is all over or if there are some plotholes – some of my fave shows are plothole-riddled and cheesy and all over the place so I just find it endearing xD) and to have an actual show like this, that also includes f/f, I just. <3

    (sorry if this got rambly; I just really adore this show and wanted to talk a little about it ^^)

    Also, I don't watch GoT really, but darn it if I'm not shipping Iron Dragon anyways. Seeing that scene screencapped with text on tumblr, I honestly thought it was just a made up thing, I didn't think it was an actual piece of dialogue. I was delighted when I found out it was. 😀 I'll not start watching, but I'll watch whatever pops up on youtube and keep watching from the sidelines. Fingers crossed it's not just subtext and they do something with it. 😀

  13. Dropping by to agree with someone further up that the scream summary is a little off. Audrey kissed Noah thinking, (in a drug haze caused by spiked tequila that big bad dropped of purporting to be from *extremely* dead Jake), he was her dead girlfriend Rachel, then carried on in a sorta 3 way thing with him and Zoe. Also it was Keiron/Keiran’s birthday, not Brooke’s, and, as said someone further up pointed, out Jake’s body fell from the ceiling of the auditorium where they were announcing the Lady of the Lake Pageant, not at the party. Described this season as a more extreme version of PLL to someone the other day, like way more extreme but yeah I 100% get that comparison. Such validation from auostraddle.

  14. Am I the only person who doesn’t like Yara for Daenerys? She said raping was their way of life, like she thought it was ok – that’s minus a billion points in my world

  15. Shaw is alive and the new hero! TM is alive and a snarky lesbian! Shoot continuing into the future as a transhumanist relationship! Shaw gets the dog and the god! This kind of hard scifi somehow aired on CBS and trended on Twitter!

    I know most people hated the storyline, but I loved it. This is the kind of thing I’ve been devouring in Scifi literature, and to see it done with queer ladies is ground-breaking.

    The show did its one job and killed all of the white dudes named John. While I’m kind of side-eyeing Harold not dying, Grace is a precious cinnamon roll and deserves to have everything she wants, so I’m mostly okay with it.

    • Oh for the love of god. Not everyone can watch the shows immediately after they come out! Show some consideration and put some spoiler alerts next time please.

      I generally don’t mind spoilers that much, but for POI they really fuck things up. Root’s death was also spoiled by the overzealous commenters in the dead lesbians thread. Ugh.

  16. Just when I thought I could stop watching, Throne Games pulls me right back in.

    I haven’t watched The Fosters yet, either. As far as I can tell there hasn’t been any outrage, so I’m hoping no one died, at least.

  17. Gave up GoT at S4 when the storylines got so poor I could no longer justify all the problematic nonsense… but damn Heather, now I’m gonna have to get downloading and cancel my weekend plans.

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