You land with a thump back in the cramped apartment where your journey began in 2009. Lady Gaga is still playing, but at least it’s moved onto Bad Romance now, suggesting that your century of fixing queer people’s seemingly trivial problems was not for naught. You were kinda hoping you’d done enough to earn your passage home, but obviously that pesky space-time continuum has one challenge left for you!

You see the same women sat by their laptops as before, but their furious typing has finished. They’re finally ready to hit go on autostraddle.com!! Suddenly there’s a blinding flash and a loud bang, almost like indoor thunder and lightning. There’s clearly some final-boss-level weird shit going on here as the lights go out, the only illumi...