A Guide To Falling In Love For Hopeless Fools Who Can’t Read Maps

It’s time for another edition of SE(N)O, an essay series on A+ for personal stories we wish we could tell on the accessible-to-our-employers-and-everyone-we’ve-ever-known mainsite, but can’t for personal and professional reasons.

This is a guide to falling in love for hopeless fools who can’t read maps.

These are step-by-step instructions for logistically impossible and emotionally devastating affairs that are never quite relationships but always far more than the flings they were supposed to be when they started. I lived in Nicaragua for two and a half years and had three relationships with beautiful weirdos who didn’t live there. I never meant to — each time, I just wanted the rush of a fling with no consequences. The spontaneous impact of two bodies shouldn’t have to mean something; at least that’s how it seems. But even glancing blows by one piece of matter can cause great impact to another piece of matter, especially if one is malleable or unbalanced.

...

You Have Reached A+ Content!

98% of the content on this website is available to everybody for free, but this is one of the 1-2 posts we publish each month just for Silver and Gold A+ members. We also publish an additional 2-3 posts a month available to all A+ members (Bronze, Silver and Gold). WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? WHY ARE WE DOING THIS? Well, because...

We Need Your Help.

This might be an awkward way to ask for it, but here goes: we know you like Autostraddle, and we like you a whole lot too. Advertisers and investors, on the other hand? Well, independently-owned politically progressive LGBTQ women's media isn't exactly their thing. It's do or die for us now: either we shore up enough reader support to compensate for the slowdown in ad sales and increasing competition from corporate-owned LGBTQ media, or we shut down altogether.

That's why we've created Autostraddle Plus. It's a way for loyal readers like you to support the site for as little as $5 a month, and in return get a peek behind the curtain of Autostraddle with posts like this one, A+ swag, podcasts, Insider "newsletters," and essays/interviews from the previously-very-hidden parts of our hearts, souls and pants. Best of all, you're helping us keep Autostraddle.com free for everybody — free of cost, and also free from the inevitable compromises made by sites that cater to marketers, not readers.

A+ is a sustainable way for queer people and allies to opt into a system that financially supports other queer people. With the support of readers like you, we can pay our writers, diversify our team and continue to coordinate the worldwide meet-ups that have changed so many lives.

Read more information about A+

Subscribe to gold or silver level to read this post
Already a member? Sign in

Audrey is a writer, a Texan and a sometimes-heretical Presbyterian. They write about bisexuality, gender, religion, politics, music and a whole lot of feelings at Autostraddle and wherever fine words are sold. They have a dog named after Alison Bechdel. Follow Audrey on Twitter @audreywhitetx.

Audrey has written 138 articles for us.