“I will lick that shit out of any allegedly “empty” sauce container of aioli regardless of its size in comparison to my tongue and how many people watch in horror or confusion when I refuse to let its gelatinous goodness remain clinging to the sides of its serving dish where it would otherwise remain unused, unwanted and unappreciated.”

“It’s like biting into a decorative soap. Whoever decided this was an acceptable form of dessert was a sadist of the highest order. If anyone ever offers you one of these items, escape immediately; this person is trying to kill you.”