It’s a boy, until and unless he tells us otherwise, I thought. It’s a boy who will be raised without gender roles. It’s a boy who will be defined by their heart and mind, not by the organs that happen to be between their legs. It’s a boy who will be loved wholly, deeply, and completely by the two women who created him.

Intersex and queer identities sometimes match up in ways that we’re familiar with and that conform to our understanding of how these identities are commonly defined. Other times they don’t.