Over a year ago, I wrote about what it’s like to start online sex work in this age. I wasn’t just trying to pen an explainer. I was thinking of getting back into that line of work. And I did.
I’ve been back at the mattress actress job for a year. Things really have changed since the lawless days before OnlyFans hit it big. Things have changed (mostly for the worse) since I wrote that, too. Our online client base is being squeezed by online age verification laws that require submitting ID verification to access porn sites, social media, and even YouTube. Economic disorder ushered in by multiple armed conflicts, trade shocks, and the current US administration are causing cutbacks in sex work spending.
Yes, I did have to open this topic with a nod to legislation, pessimism, and its far-reaching effect on people’s spending. Because the first rule of sex work is that it’s work. Its practitioners and consumers are as much a part of this precarious economy as everyone else. And when the whole network sinks, we all sink together. Despite a salacious media narrative about how nobodies can become millionaires via OnlyFans, the people who earn so much via online sex work that they can ignore macroeconomic realities are a vanishingly small group.
We don’t just work in front of the camera. Most of us also comprise the entire operation behind the camera. So please, take this invitation into my bedroom as I discuss the unseen labour and bodily misadventures behind the scenes.
I’ve curated a selection of my finest outtakes to break up the monotony. You’re welcome.
Manufacturing ✨authenticity✨
Contemporary online sex work and influencer marketing are twins sired by social media. Our relevance is maintained by running viewers through the content sieve to turn them into followers, then into clients. If we invest enough or hit an algorithmic jackpot, it might even be worth it.
The heart of this kind of work is a ruthless arithmetic of turning parasocial relationships into profit. People who don’t grasp online sex work will occasionally ask aloud, why would anyone want to pay for that when there’s so much free porn? The question misses out on the motivations of people who seek us out. Our clients don’t just want porn. They want the impression of a connection. They want authenticity.
As a provider of such authenticity, all I’ll say is I’d never say ‘Let me know what you think,’ or ‘Do you like this?’ if I wasn’t being financially incentivized.
Being an online sex worker is about image and marketing, but it’s contrary to my personality. I’m 30. I have two close friends and a partner. My last three birthdays were celebrated at home by ordering takeout and relaxing together. I find influencer marketing and the commodification of people’s attention loathsome. Manufacturing authenticity for my clientele is one of the hardest parts of this job.
I made it bearable by finding a loophole. Instead of fabricating a personality, I play up aspects of myself that are already there. My niche (nerdy; trans; Asian; slutty; submissive) reflects my actual personality. The imminent downside to this is that I’m further entrenching my personhood into a line of work notorious for scrubbing its workers’ clean of personal agency. Speaking of which…
I didn’t notice my phone gimbal was shooting in Panorama mode until it was too late.
What’s in a category?
Sex work is intimately tied to the worker’s sexual agency. Contact sex workers place their bodily integrity, health, and mental well-being at risk at work. I’m privileged to risk less, but the core tenets of sex work still apply. Every day, I place a monetary value on my bodily agency and sexual boundaries.
An example: A client recently approached me to discuss the possibility of doing watersports/pee content. As usual, I took the request and did the mental math of how much I would want to charge for what he was asking. This led to me asking myself a question most people don’t think about: how much would I charge someone for a video of me peeing on my own face?
That’s not an extreme or unusual example to me. Sex work is work to me and I have a fairly non-moralistic view of my work. It’s only possible to participate in sex work consensually if you’re willing to monetize your sexual agency. Because you’re the one doing it, rather than seeing someone else do it for you.
Like modelling, sex work is deeply embodied. Being ‘capable’ of doing the job is rarely enough. Rather, the work is so tied to your appearance and personality that it becomes part of you.
My client-facing image is curated to reflect my marketing angle. I’m compelled to hashtag my content using terms I’d prefer to avoid. My income is very tied to my appearance, which makes it easy to justify unhealthy behavior on the basis of keeping my finances stable.
None of that is to say I’m living in constant memory. Every profession has downsides. In a profession so vulnerable to exploitation, independence is a joy. I’m willing to see these decisions as a compromise, rather than an indignity as long as I’m well-compensated and calling the shots.
Behind that candid ‘good morning 🤗’ selfie is a girl dropping the phone on herself in search of a perfect angle.
Help wanted: A copy of myself to help with shaving, camera work
I’m a freelancer through-and-through. My writing happens on a freelance basis, and does sex work. MLM marketing is right about one thing: It is liberating to set my own schedule and work for myself. I can take days off at will. My job isn’t anchored to any particular place. I rarely have unnecessary meetings. In fact, props to the Autostraddle team: I’ve been writing for over three years and I’ve had zero audio or video calls. That’s the kind of workplace achievement I want to replicate.
The flipside of freelance life is something a joke I tell everyone who asks about my work: It’s very liberating to freelance. I can work any day I want, as long as I work all the days that end with ‘day’.
Online sex workers wear many hats. Mostly unsexy ones. Independent workers like me are simultaneously on-screen personalities, social media managers, videographers, photo editors, set coordinators, and customer service workers. More specialized niches like cosplay and BDSM will rope in a wider skillset in addition to the basics. Online sex workers who specialize in on-camera work usually aren’t working independently. Some can afford other specialists (camera crews, editors) to produce higher-budget content. Others work in labour-sharing settings that pool their resources and delegate work, such as content houses. Coercion and exploitation do occur in online sex work, and many sex workers operating in ‘teams’ are also working in exploitative environments.
The workload and logistics that come with working online and independently are commonly treated as a point in favour of online work over in-person work. The most direct personal risks that sex workers face are imposed on us by other people. Extra proximity keeps us safe. Consequently, working alone in this industry is the closest thing to a ‘safe’ middle ground. Being part of a team can be a sign of success and privilege: You’re doing so well you can afford a team. Alternatively, it can be the result of exploitation and deprivation.
To be completely real, my day-to-day life isn’t so big-picture. Here’s some of the stuff I get up to:
- I have to schedule shooting days around writing jobs and my laser hair removal and waxing schedule. The domino effects of broken links in that chain are very annoying.
- I go through a lot of cheap, fast fashion lingerie to keep my content ‘fresh’ and I feel guilty about it.
- I once momentarily let my skin fall loose while epilating my testes. My scrotal skin was forcefully dragged into the epilator and I had to unjam it from the machine’s head. Certainly my most interesting bruise.
- Do you have any idea how hard it is to maneuver a pimple patch onto your ass crack?
- If my clientele found out how many enemas I need to achieve that porn star clean ass, I’d lose half of them. And immediately gain a new audience with a very different kink.
- I spend a lot of time posing in bed with my camera setup to learn new ways to include my feet in pics. But like, not in a way that’ll be too overt or turn off the general audience.
- Which plushie should I leave in-frame as today’s decorative prop? Which one would look most candid and ✨authentic✨?
- Sex worker lifehack: If you’re worried about how you sound during sex practice, moaning and dirty talk into your phone and listen back. Pick a few vocalizations you like so you can fall back on those during sex.
My decision to set a 5 second self-timer for this photo was calculated, but boy am I bad at math.
At the end of it, I can’t restate hard enough that sex work is just work. Of all the jobs I’ve had, this is certainly one of them. This ranks solidly higher than working admin at an underfunded NGO, but lower than the pre-AI golden age of freelance content writing when corporations were regularly paying $500 for stuff I could knock out in an hour.
Sure, I have complaints about my job and the unforgiving economic system that enables it. Everyone around me has their own version of that. There are also lots of things I don’t want to give up. I do love the connections I have with regulars who talk about nerdy things in between sexting sessions. My sexting skills and library of nudes has never been healthier. The income is excellent for the hours I put in and I have more free time than any of my peers.
As we approach 2026 (the worst year since 2025) I find myself wondering what this profession will look like in the future. Invasive and ineffective laws are rapidly being passed. They neither support sex workers nor protect our clients, much less The Children. My fellow sex workers are still adjusting to the influx of fresh faces and competition that resulted from COVID-era job loss. Generative AI has also reached online sex work. More workers are automating their client interactions and content pipelines with AI, usually to the reputational detriment of those of us who don’t.
I don’t know what things will look like a decade from now. I doubt I’ll even be in this profession by 2035. People tend to age out of this line of work and that gap decade between ‘hot college girl’ and ‘MILF’ can be awkward from a marketing standpoint. I just know that I’ll continue adapting, and keep my clients coming back for more.
We who work in the oldest profession are used to pressure and stigma. The fact that we’ve become such a visible force is a sign that things have changed for the better. Collectively, the road ahead will be a grind, but I’m ready to walk it with my fellow whoring industry professionals.
