This Holigay Flowchart Will Tell You Which Christmas Movie You Really Want to Watch


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Heather Hogan is an Autostraddle managing editor who lives in New York City with her partner, Stacy, and their cackle of rescued pets. She's a member of the Television Critics Association, the Gay and Lesbian Entertainment Critics Association, and a Rotten Tomatoes Tomatometer critic. You can also find her on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

Heather has written 855 articles for us.

66 Comments

  1. ‘Twas a long time ago, longer now than it seems,
    In a place that perhaps you’ve seen in your dreams,
    For the story that you are about to be told,
    Took place in the holiday worlds of old,
    Now, you’ve probably wondered where holidays come from,
    If you haven’t, I’d say it’s time you begun

  2. This chart is everything I’ve ever needed.

    Also, thank you for understanding the difference between the REAL and GOOD Grinch and the upsetting, garbage one that somehow people are totally cool with. (I haven’t seen the newest, but I can say with certainty that it will land in the middle)

  3. No love for the George C. Scott Christmas Carol? It at least wins the award for “Most Terrifying Christmas Present Incarnation”.

    The only redeeming part of the Jim Carrey Grinch movie is Chrstine Baranski as Martha May Whovier.

  4. Honestly, why am I even surprised that this chart led me to Home Alone? I already KNOW that Home Alone is the Christmas movie I want to watch because it (and the second one) are the only Christmas movies I’ll watch outside of the single showing of Frosty and Rudolph on TV.

    • I second the nomination of Patrick Stewart’s Scrooge! He and Michael Caine are my favourites which is a hard job considering my family and I collect every unique edition of A Christmas Carol we can find.

  5. This is a very good and helpful chart, Heather.

    I feel that people should know that the best Thanksgiving movie is What’s Cooking. No one ever talks about it, but Mercedes Ruehl, Alfre Woodard, Joan Chen, and lesbian lovers Kyra Sedgwick and Julianna Margulies are in it.

  6. This is dope and I’m all about it!!

    But I have just one question —> THE FAMILY STONE??

    Lolz guiltily my all time fave – def under the tears a flowing section

    Thanks for this <3

  7. this is amazing, not least because my first ever heterosexual date (at age 13) was to go and see Jim Carrey’s Grinch and it was indeed the worst and now I am gay and Carol is great.

  8. I am delighted to see my favorite Christmas Carol get high praise (Mickey’s)

    Scrooge (1970) is a delight and I got a lot of queer energy from it this year but being freshly out, I’m seeing BQE everywhere

  9. I’m shocked that the live action version of The Grinch is labelled the worst. It’s one of my favourites!

    And reading through the comments, it seems that everyone agrees. Can someone explain the hate?

    I may get a lot of hate for this next statement: I hate Carol. It’s more of the most boring movies I’ve ever seen.

    • I actually love Jim Carrey’s rendition of the Grinch and Faith Hill’s Where Are You Christmas always makes a yearly appearance on my extensive Xmas playlist even though it makes me weepy. Maybe people are put off by his Jim Carrey-isms? I dunno. My whole family loves the live action movie and I also love the new animated one that came out a few weeks ago. Honestly, I just love Dr. Seuss, the characters and the story.

  10. This is missing a vitally important Christmas movie (well two)

    Do you need a film which traverses language barriers/because you don’t wanna hear anyone talking? The film You’re looking for is The Snowman (and it’s spin off The Snow Dog)

    Maybe this is only a “thing” in the UK, but they are really beautiful music-only films

  11. Humbly submitting the obscure Muppet Family Christmas from 1987. It’s ridiculously expensive to buy now, but you can see a decent version online. You will not be sorry. Literally all the Muppets. The Swedish Chef tries to cook Big Bird. Animal sleeps on a clothes hanger in the closet. Fraggle Rock cameos. 100% the cure for holiday ickiness.

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