The Comment Awards Are Leaning Seductively In Your Direction

What happened in your world this week, ducklings? After some thrilling evenings spent binging on Gilmore Girls and eating packaged carbs, I finally left my apartment during the debate to go grocery shopping. It was wonderful. The store was empty and I had to elbow exactly zero hipsters to get to my favorite flatbread. Have you tried the frozen flatbread at Trader Joe’s? You’ll hear angels. Thankfully Lemon and Rachel GChatted the debate (because freedom) and it was a lot funnier than watching Mittens say things.

This week Riese and Carolyn gave us more stuff to read and think about and Ali encouraged us to be the revolution with our books. Speaking of lit, have you read a f*cking Canadian book lately? We also posted playlists for falljazz queens and bunk bed listening parties. And what did you think of these six tumblrs with butches doing things and adorable baby animals? Yes, whiskey kittens can help you be more productive. It’s basically science.

Season 2 of Unicorn Plan-It premiered on Wednesday (passive aggressive mattress moving never looked better). Other highlights from this week include the queer guide to San Diego, DIY scarf-making and container gardening. By the way, what are you doing next weekend? Can we hang out? Wait, are you even listening  to me? Or did you just get a confusing text message from a girl and she said a confusing thing and now you don’t know if your coffee date is still happening? What if it’s not even a date? And what if she thinks you’re super clingy for replying right away? Fear not, Brittani has words for you. But first I have awards for you…

On Hong Kong Business Tycoon Offers $65mil To Make Gay Daughter Straight:

The And That’s A Fact Award to Tara: They have matching dogs in matching christmas outfits. You can’t break up something like that, daaayyyymmmmnnn.

On Sew Yourself A Cozy Neck-Nest This Fall:

The Yes, That’s The Proper Reaction Award to Kate B: I swear to god I thought the title said ‘Sew Yourself a Nosy Cock-Nest this Fall’ and I was freaked the fuck out.

On Top Six Tumblrs Featuring Butches Doing Things:

The The I’d Pay For That Award to Julia: It’s like descriptions of butches leaning is the porn I never knew I wanted

The Put A Beer On It Award to flamboyant cuttlefish and bookbound:

On Glee 403 Recap: Makeover Takeover:

The Very Best Reason For A Makeover Award to Sad hoodie: I am wearing the same hoodie that Finn is wearing. This is not good for my self-esteem.

On The Premiere is Here: Unicorn Plan-It Episode 201:

The Putting The L in LAPD Award to eliz: What exactly do I have to do in order to get Unicorn P.I. to come arrest me? I’ve already jay-walked today. I also idled my car in front of a fire hydrant. This stuff’s gotta count for something.

On The CDC Warns That Oral Sex Is Still Risky:

The Take Caution When Flossing Award to Jojo:

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carrie is a nine to five office dweller in massachusetts. she loves waves, ​collects skateboards and is perpetually planning her escape from the northeast.

carrie has written 159 articles for us.


  1. To be fair, sometimes the last comment award happens to me. Randomly coming out of blackouts mid-blowjob ftw!

  2. Last one happens all the time. Brushing my teeth and I bump against something… oh whoops, think you’re a bit lost.

  3. Being featured in the comment awards is helping improve my self-esteem. Thank you, Autostraddle!

  4. “Put A Beer On It” made me laugh way too hard you guys. Good thing no one else is home or they might have been worried about me.

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