Hello, hi – it’s me.
You may recall me from last week when I openly discussed wanting various restaurants both in between my legs and in my mouth. Well, this week I am back with more fuckery and it is focused on the new school for baby dykes, lezzies and queers – you may know it as Tik-Tok.
I come from the age of Tumblr (and the end of Vine) so I was intrigued. I downloaded the app and it scanned my retinas and said: “Oh, she is here for gay shit. Please show her what we have available this evening.” I’m not gonna lie, that’s exactly what I was there for. Who doesn’t want the ability to watch a babe be hot and funny on a loop in the palm of their hands?
I laid back on the couch and got cozied up to prepare for a good old muff diving digital time.
Things took the quickest of turns when I realized these messy bunned girls wearing oversized sweatshirts were fresh out of SAT prep classes. Needless to say, I switched into auntie mode real quick.
“Stop grinding the air!”
“Pull your shirt down!”
“Stop licking your lips!”
I couldn’t decide if I wanted to scold them because I am someone’s actual ass auntie or if I wanted to give them hugs because they are living their truths and having fun while doing it.
I landed on being incredibly proud of them for being ahead of the game, but, as dope as they are, they still need the lesbian aunties of the internet. They are out here tying themselves up with Hot Topic era belts – to a pop song no less – letting folks know if they are a top or bottom, so there’s that.
So here I am with ten TikToks from the little lezzie community along with some quick auntie love and a bit of advice.
This is perfect, continue to hype up your aunt and don’t block her on Instagram.
So proud of you for seeing the bright side of our relationships – you’re doing amazing sweetie.
Keep wearing what you want, you look fly. You’re Perfect.
Proud of you for knowing your worth and what you bring to the table GREAT JOB!
All I see is that you have other queer friends who will both support and read you when needed. Block her! You’re lucky and I love it.
Name it, claim it, and lean in early. The world needs more tops. Read about lube. Proud of you.
You know yourself, you will save so much time in therapy. I adore you.
STAY HYPE little sis, know you are a catch, I see you!!
Already prepped for future drama and how to handle it. So impressive. Shine On.
I learned more about personal essays from this one TikTok than from any class pic.twitter.com/PIWKdsEclt
— Blake Montgomery (@blakersdozen) November 20, 2019
A love story & discovery told in a bunch of quick parts with transitions that I don’t understand but appreciate times a million – invite me to your UHaul party!
I know you have the app (and if you don’t, download it!) so post your favs, and share your own auntie advice and love! In conclusion:
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