Hello, hi – it’s me.
You may recall me from last week when I openly discussed wanting various restaurants both in between my legs and in my mouth. Well, this week I am back with more fuckery and it is focused on the new school for baby dykes, lezzies and queers – you may know it as Tik-Tok.
I come from the age of Tumblr (and the end of Vine) so I was intrigued. I downloaded the app and it scanned my retinas and said: “Oh, she is here for gay shit. Please show her what we have available this evening.” I’m not gonna lie, that’s exactly what I was there for. Who doesn’t want the ability to watch a babe be hot and funny on a loop in the palm of their hands?
I laid back on the couch and got cozied up to prepare for a good old muff diving digital time.
Things took the quickest of turns when I realized these messy bunned girls wearing oversized sweatshirts were fresh out of SAT prep classes. Needless to say, I switched into auntie mode real quick.
“Stop grinding the air!”
“Pull your shirt down!”
“Stop licking your lips!”
I couldn’t decide if I wanted to scold them because I am someone’s actual ass auntie or if I wanted to give them hugs because they are living their truths and having fun while doing it.
I landed on being incredibly proud of them for being ahead of the game, but, as dope as they are, they still need the lesbian aunties of the internet. They are out here tying themselves up with Hot Topic era belts – to a pop song no less – letting folks know if they are a top or bottom, so there’s that.
So here I am with ten TikToks from the little lezzie community along with some quick auntie love and a bit of advice.
This is perfect, continue to hype up your aunt and don’t block her on Instagram.
So proud of you for seeing the bright side of our relationships – you’re doing amazing sweetie.
Keep wearing what you want, you look fly. You’re Perfect.
Proud of you for knowing your worth and what you bring to the table GREAT JOB!
All I see is that you have other queer friends who will both support and read you when needed. Block her! You’re lucky and I love it.
Name it, claim it, and lean in early. The world needs more tops. Read about lube. Proud of you.
You know yourself, you will save so much time in therapy. I adore you.
STAY HYPE little sis, know you are a catch, I see you!!
Already prepped for future drama and how to handle it. So impressive. Shine On.
I learned more about personal essays from this one TikTok than from any class pic.twitter.com/PIWKdsEclt
— Blake Montgomery (@blakersdozen) November 20, 2019
A love story & discovery told in a bunch of quick parts with transitions that I don’t understand but appreciate times a million – invite me to your UHaul party!
I know you have the app (and if you don’t, download it!) so post your favs, and share your own auntie advice and love! In conclusion:
so wholesome i love it!!
wait i’m dying i can’t stop giggling and exclaiming with joy these kids are SO CUTE AND SWEET 😭😭😭
That engagement story! SO PRECIOUS
OH GOD I’M SO PROUD OF THE NEXT GENERATION.
this is everything i love it so much
I going to have to disagree with the gal who did the perks of being a lesbian. Butches/mascs generally don’t look good/feel comfortable in femme wear. Also, know a few couples who one is trans woman & other is cis.
As long as the toilet seat stays DOWN I’m ok with all of that
Thank you for helping me appreciate Tik Tok, which my Millennial wife keeps sending me.. clips(? See I don’t even know) from and my Gen X self does not understand. Don’t worry, gonna go Ok Boomer at my own self
I’m a lesbian on TikTok!
My Brit ears heard ”Christian middle school” as Christian metal school… like, do ppl just study Stryper songs all day?
Check out my made-up band, “All Day Christian Strypers” 😈
Oh Snow, you do know how to tease a girl with your strange fantasies..
My heart just grew three sizes and also..not tearing up.
I want to hug everyone and bake cookies for them.<3
I am still ”why I don’t have a gf” for those reasons in my fifties..
These are so great! My favorite is this series I found out about from a link here on AS on some point: https://twitter.com/angelknives13/status/1169711799207452672?s=21
I’m cry. My sister has seven babies. I am that auntie. And I definitely don’t understand TikTok, and was annoyed with it, my nieces always trying to get me on it, but now reading this article and watching these OMGAMAZING videos and now I’m just like. Wtf did my generation even contribute? These babies are everything!!!!
If you’re a Gen Z, hear me. YOU ARE EVERYTHING. YOU ARE SO BRAVE AND PROUD AND BIG AND PERFECT AND EVERYTHING WE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE AND ARE STILL TRYING TO BE IN OUR 30s, I SWEAR TO GOD YOU ALREADY ARE BY 15. The world has been harder for you in many ways and you keep showing up harder than ever before.
The world doesn’t deserve you, but it does need you.
Auntie loves you. Be your big gayish beautiful self. We’ve got your back!
Parent hen mode, auntie mode
Gen Z baby gays make my fingers twitch for the bubble wrap.
And uh I found a thing
It’s how to make that fried chicken from that fried chicken place that is dumb and mean donated their money to anti-LGBT group.
Using peanut oil would make it even more authentic tasting but veg oil is way cheaper and it introduces the popcorn trick which is great if you’re not a super freak like me who can hear when da oil is ready.
There really are SO many baby dykes on Tik Tok! It makes me so happy 😭
You got paid to scroll through Lesbian TikTok. You win.