“Batwoman” Episode 309 Recap: Shut Up and Kiss Me

Hello and welcome to the recap for the perfectly normal Batwoman episode, “Meet Your Maker”, where everything was fine and nothing out of the ordinary happened. Hahahahahahaha just kidding y’all. I’m one of those really fun people who celebrates their birthday for whatever period of time feels right, so I decided to accept this episode as a birthday week gift from the Batwoman writers because my word, they GAVE. Let’s get into it.

We open right away on two fishermen who I can only assume are about to pose with their catch of the day for their dating profiles. Nope, it’s far more dastardly than that, because they’re gutting fish they’re supposed to be catching and releasing. The men are pulled into the water by one Pamela Isley who then breaks the surface like an environmental lady of the lake. Renee rushes to check on Pam who incorrectly thought that spending an extended period of time under water would help get her strength back.

pam staring up at renee

“I’m sorry…WHAT happened on the Yellowjackets finale?!”

This isn’t the point, but the beanie work in this episode is *chef’s kiss*. To illustrate said non-point, a beanie-clad Ryan is having some trouble getting out of her head lately, so she decides to visit Mama Cora’s grave in hopes that she’ll get some clarity. She wonders aloud how her mom was able to make “being everything to everyone” look easy. The short answer? Cora was a Black woman who was probably taught by another Black woman that in order to raise a strong Black woman, she needed to take on everyone’s burdens without letting them see you sweat. But I’m getting ahead of myself. More on that later.

Ryan Wilder looking forlornly at her mom's grave

“Was Hercules ever like ‘Yo, I don’t wanna fight Cerberus?'”

Down in Batcave .5 (I’m not sure what to call this, but “2.0” felt like an upgrade which this super is not), Luke is doing pull-ups while Sophie barely blinks and cracks jokes about HR violations. Luke is big mad about Beebo knows what, so he decides to hit something about it. He, Sophie, and Sophie’s blazer spar but he doesn’t give her any clues about what’s upsetting him.

Sophie Moore holding sparring pads

“Come on Luke, punch like I’m the Democratic party and all you want is for me to stop disappointing you!”

At Jeturian Industries, Jada looks longingly at a photo of her and her son as a surprise visitor enters her office. It’s John Diggle! Hi John! He’s here because they’re old friends (okay and also he was already in town) so he offers to help Jada with Marquis. Now, normally I don’t get invested in het nonsense, but I want the backstory between these two so bad.

Back in the woods, Pam is frustrated that she has to keep looking down in order to talk to Renee. Just kidding, like us, she also loves a height difference. She’s actually frustrated because nothing she’s tried has worked to bring her back to full strength. Renee calls her out for killing those fishermen, but Pam explains she was merely correcting an imbalance in nature. Renee looks disappointed because she assumed that once she freed Pam, she would get the soulmate she envisioned. She does apologize and admit guilt for what she did, but that’s not enough for Pam at this moment. As Pam starts to walk away, Renee reveals that she knows how to get Pam’s strength back.

Pam stares back at Renee

Again, how does Bridget Regan make shriveled look chic??

Petty LaBelle has arrived at the Not!Batcave with coffee in hand for herself and Luke AND NONE FOR SOPHIE MOORE, BYE! Y’all, Ryan looks Sophie in her whole ass face as she drinks her coffee, rolls her eyes, and explains that they’re busy because her girlfriend Renee is galavanting around Gotham with an ecoterrorist. I…RYAN! Girl! It’s a good joke, it’s a great joke, even, but as fun as this is for me personally, you gotta talk to her instead of deflecting with pettiness.

Ryan stares at Sophie with an attitude

“I don’t know if you heard, but this is all happening because you slept with Renee Montoya.”

They realize that the reported attacks fit OG Ivy’s M.O. so Mary most likely isn’t behind them. Luke created some fun science darts they can use on Pam that will slow her down so they can recreate the desiccation serum without killing her.

The team gathers around Sophie as she does a quick triangulation to figure out where Pam is. Real fast y’all, Sophie and Ryan’s outfits are coordinated. I mean, if that’s not true love… Anyway, Sophie discovers that Pam is in the very specific “National Park”, which worries Ms. Moore because of the entire history of cinema training her to believe that when Black people go into the woods, they don’t come out. Ah see, but Ryan notes Black people never write those movies so they’re going to flip the script on ‘em. Reader, I screamed.

Ryan looking smugly at the team

“Y’all, we’re fine. Maya co-wrote this episode. She’s gonna take care of us.”

At Jeturian Industries, Jada’s just finished telling Diggle what’s been going on with Marquis and that once he wakes up he’s going right for his sister. Jada offers Diggle a job as head of her security team “just like old times.” I NEED TO KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS. Jada wants to get help for her son instead of just locking him up, because it’s almost like treating mental illness before incarcerating someone might have some merit. Unfortunately, Diggle declines the job offer but suggests Jada finds the Joker’s joy buzzer to possibly re-jolt Marquis back to himself. He’s heard a rumor that Renee Montoya’s been after BatVillains’ weapons so they decide to pay her a visit.

Back on the shore, Renee describes natural networking and plants feeling vibrations while Pam looks on, aroused. The chemistry between these two is truly out of control. They realize that drawing Mary to Pam via the cutting that infected Mary will help revive Pam. So Pam controls the wind and sends vibes out to her sporeling. PS: wind is gay now. Sorry, I don’t make the rules.

Renee smiling down at Pam as Pam caresses Renee's head

I’ve decided to focus on happy Renee for now.

And speaking of Mary, she’s armed with sugary coffee drinks for her and Alice who’s reading the latest news on OG Ivy. Mary just wants to get out of this city so she suggests a trip to Santorini, and Alice is all, “Say less.” In case you weren’t sure who wrote this episode, Alice drops in a little BTS “BUTTER” reference that has Maya Houston all over it (congrats, girl!!). But before the dynamic duo can hit the road, Mary gets a killer headache thanks to “the OG.”

Road trip time! Sophie is driving the team into the woods (*sings* into the woods!) and tries to apologize to Ryan for screwing everything up with regards to Renee. Meanwhile, Luke is in the backseat, silently wishing moms would just kiss and makeup already. (It’s at this point in the episode that I naively thought “LOL imagine?!”) Ryan’s still got a wall up when it comes to Sophie, so she hits her with the “yep” instead of processing the apology.

Ryan, Luke, and Sophie are in a car headed to the woods

If “awkward” were a photo.

There’s no more time for real talk though, because they almost run over a rogue white man (NO!) who stumbles into the road. Luke and Ryan go help him as vines start to drag the car with Sophie in it. Ryan “I’m mad at Sophie” Wilder screams out for her girl, but no worries Ry Ry. Sophie oh so smoothly undoes her seatbelt, grabs a bag, and tucks and Ludacris rolls out of the car just in time.

Remember that thing about flipping the script? Well it is in full effect here because the first person to die in the woods? A white man! And do our melanated friends stop to investigate? They sure do not! They hightail it out of there and take cover in a nearby cabin.

Ryan and Luke stare at a dead body in shock

“This escalated so quickly!”

In the cabin, which I’m sure they checked for skeletons and missing girls soccer teams, Luke is aggressively hammering the door shut. Ryan and Sophie are gay and as such, they know a thing or two about deflecting via home improvement projects, so they ask Luke what his deal is. He explains that he thinks everything that’s been happening to them has been his fault and he doesn’t feel like a hero.

Ryan and Sophie looking at each other

“We’re going to need to play nice and help our friend, aren’t we?”

Ryan tells Luke that the thing about heroes is that on their path to becoming great, they fail. Take Sophie (who is just minding her Black ass business) for example, she let TWO people escape on her watch. Not one to be outdone, Sophie joins in and illustrates that Ryan also isn’t perfect because she didn’t even notice that her best friend was turning into Poison Ivy. *ahem* “Hi yes, Officer, I wouldn’t normally call you, but I’d like to report a double homicide in the form of two lesbians refusing to talk and instead tossing grenades at each other. Thanks so much.”

Ryan smiling at Luke and Sophie smiling at Ryan

The smiles! They are pained!

In another part of the woods, Poison Pam and Renee are getting cozy in a tent, and by cozy I mean Pam is about to pass out after depleting her energy by killing that white dude and chasing the Bat Team away. Pam asks Renee how the Bat Team knew where she’d be, and Renee sticks up for them. Since Ryan wasn’t in the Batsuit, it appears her fear about Renee telling Pam everything about their identities was warranted.

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Nic

Nic is a Senior Product Manager at a major Publisher and lives in Astoria, NY. She is way too attached to queer fictional characters and maintains that buying books and reading books are two very different hobbies. When she's not consuming every form of fiction, you can find her dropping it low on the dance floor. You can find Nic on twitter and instagram.

Nic has written 34 articles for us.

22 Comments

  1. ahhhhhh!!! this episode was so goood. this recap was so good. thanks for writing these!
    so, i literally screamed & threw my hands in the air when they kissed. when Meagan Tandy posted that photo of her & Javicia Leslie in the car, making kissy faces, i thought, “i hope this means they will KISS tonight” and boy did i think correct. the enemies to lovers build up was so good and so worth the wait. i am so grateful for this show.
    second, they really took time to give Luke moments this episode. dude’s PTSD has been a good arc since his almost death and I feel like so many shows would have moved past that quickly. honestly, overall this was just a really good character episode. everyone has been going through a journey the last season and a half, and this felt like a check-in. a time for everyone to really communicate & process things.
    third, all of the RenIvy stuff was phenomenal. i really feel for renee, ugh! and i so sincerely want Poison Ivy to change & become better, but idk if we’re gonna get that for her arc this season. lbr tho, i just want an opportunity for Bridget Regan to come back in the future.
    lastly, i do love that Alice confessed how much she cares for Mary. i see some people hating on their relationship, but i really see the care between the two of them and i’m glad they talked about it some more!

    once again, thanks for a great recap. so excited for next week. if this was Poison Ivy at half-strength, next week is gonna be brutal!

  2. As always a great recap. I really can’t formulate any words from last night’s episode it definitely belongs up there with the Quizbowl one. Wildmoore kissed!!! Like you I am excited to see what the possibilities can be for them and I hope to find out in the next couple of episodes.

    Sidebar: I am happy for you to see someone like you on screen. I love Batwoman too because of the representation but also because of what the cast and writers bring everyday.

  3. *The Kiss* was truly perfection. I jumped out of my chair and screamed and gay-flailed. Ryan’s sweet little smile/smirk after killed me. Also completely agree with other commenters on the Renivy scenes – those 2 have insane chemistry and I would do almost anything for Pam to get some sort of Alice-esq redemption arc so we can see more of her/them (Alas – that definitely doesn’t seem the way it’s heading. But I will be disappointed if they kill her off – maybe we could get a Renivy semi-happy ending??
    They ride out of Gotham together into the sunset?? A gay can dream). Bridget Regan just fully understands the assignment in every role she takes on and this is no exception. (And as you noted, the height difference in this episode was on full display and *chef’s kiss*)

  4. This recap was phenomenal. Thank you!

    This might be a controversial opinion (no shade intended) but S1 has nuh-thing on mid-S2 to present. The chemistry of the overall cast (the couples get extra bonus points) and the writing are just…well *2 chef’s kisses*

    Ryan was Petty LaBelle – Lady Marmalade (Fanned Hair Ed.). It was so wrong but so damn funny.

    My only (completely unnecessary) gripe is Sophie yelling for everyone to run when we all know IRL black people run when things are scary, no direction needed.

    Nic, I too have longed for more POC queer couples on my tv screen. Now that I’m getting it, how will I continue to live my best fully oxygenated and moisturized gay black life if this show and Twenties aren’t renewed?

    Final thoughts:
    – Height differential is so damn sexy, and we get a double dose with this show.
    – Ryan can be smooth, we’ve seen it, but this thing with Sophie is different so I’m curious to see her approach.
    – More Alice please.
    – Even though Pam is a tall gorgeous absolute bad ass, smol Montoya feels like she tops that tree. Okay…yeah I’ll see my way out.

  5. BEST. TV. HOUR. EVER. Only thing that beat Yellowjackets this week. I wish they explored Mary being pansexual a lot more too, cmon. Gay it all up, it’s not like you’ll explode over quota ya know!

  6. I really thought Pam was going end up killing or hurting Mary, but that ending with Mary providing life back into Pam just like Pam put life into Mary. Truly a cycle of life moment.

    That Pam and Renee heart-to-heart towards the end was everything. I was like this is a toxic relationship but I am here for it.

    Alice and Mary also having a heart-to-heart about why they just work melted my heart. I love their relationship and how its grown. They are truly sisters.

    I was so mad at that little white boy for yelling when Ryan clearly motioned him to keep quiet, but it was the event that lead to that Wildmoore kiss. So thank you little white boy for your service

    But that kiss was perfection. It was almost like Sophie was telling Ryan that she had one less thing to worry about. It was sweet. And Ryan’s face of shock than just relaxed after the kiss. I can’t wait to see how their relationship continues to grow

  7. You are absolutely hilarious!! this entire recap had me dying and I loved all your references! i also loved how, as a black woman, i wasn’t alone in thinking that seeing people like wildmoore kiss on screen was just a fantasy. but no! they did it! mark the history books folks

  8. This episode was incredible. I was a little punched in the gut by Ryan’s monologue — damn our baby is hurting — but that didn’t stop me from squealing when they kissed! I hope this relationship inspires Sophie to get a cool new character arc.

    also — this recap was incredible. I audibly laughed out loud multiple times. Great work

  9. So not only was this episode one of the best things I’ve ever watched, this was basically the best summary I read for it (It’a the only one I’ve read so far but tbh I don’t think I need to read another).

  10. These recaps give me LIFE!

    I’ve been cheesing about the episode since I saw it last night. I was just telling my partner how much I love autostraddle and how I feel like y’all give me a community to cheese about #gaystuff on tv. I HAVE LITERALLY BEEN WAITING MY WHOLE LIFE FOR WILDMOORE. Seeing them kiss was literally the highlight of 2022 so far and I am beyond jazzed to see what happens between them the rest of the season. We love to see it #BlackQueerLove

  11. Didn’t get to watch the episode live, so I internally shrieked with delight when I saw the feature image on this recap!!!!!!!!!!!!! (It would have been an external shriek if I had not been in bed next to my sleeping partner)

    And this ep lived up to that shriek! Holy moly! I am without words.

  12. This episode!! I always watch Batwoman online on Thursday, but I’m a teacher and it’s the last week of the semester so I was slammed and am catching up a day late.

    Loved homosexual Sophie not batting an eye at Luke’s workout.

    The way Pam looked at Renee when she was talking about plant communication?! My GOD!! I can’t believe I have been settling for straight actresses touching each other’s hair with zero sexual chemistry for so long, when Bridget Regan can devour her ex girlfriend with just her eyes.

    Sophie Moore continues to be devastatingly hot, this time by managing to grab the duffle bag before evacuating the car. And apologizing honestly! And starting a hard conversation with Ryan about feelings. I am going to PASS OUT she is everything.

    I had to pause and rewind because I was cackling too loudly during Ryan’s “All heroes fail. For example, Sophie…” moment.

    I had not even anticipated a kiss this episode!!!!! It was already giving so much!!

    Luke’s monologue to his father about knowing he’s ready was also really moving. What a great episode! I just want them to be renewed already (and get a bigger budget for fancier CGI)!

    We say it all the time, but I love how unapologetically lesbian this show is! We can be eco-terrorists, and super hot ex cops who left our job because we realized ACAB, and batwoman, and in love with our toxic exes and so many different things instead of just the gay sidekick on a show about a straight girl.

    Thanks for a great recap as always, Nic! “Funnily enough, that’s also where I keep my joy buzzer” made me giggle.

  13. Renee and Pam on the beach with the plant magic is the gayest thing I have ever seen on my television.

    Also love the head-canon that Renee is a TVD fan. First the vervain and then the “this is a toxic relationship” convo.

  14. Awesome recap! I really loved the parallels b/w Wildmoore & Renivy. Both have a rocky history, but something very different happening. Sophie’s statement about how much she’s changed in part to her relationship with Ryan is in stark contrast to what Pam is willing to do for Renee. Loved that.

    I also didn’t know I needed so much Mary & Alice. Love the parallel with Ryan & Marquis. Both chaotic siblings, but again very different outcomes. Mary and Alice have grown a reluctant respect and trust with each other that filled a void they noticably had. Ryan had a similar void that she wistfully thought her Bio family could fill, but I fear she’s gonna learn the hard way that often the best family you can have is the one you choose.

    Gosh this episode was so good, and inline with the already amazing season. With 4 episodes left I’m uneasy on where we’re headed to next!

    Thanks for the amazing recaps as always, Nic!

  15. i was going through the batwoman tag like ten seconds after the kiss and someone was like “autostraddle is gonna have a field day with this” and they were not wrong this has to be one of my favorite pieces ever written tbh, every time i went to copy/paste a favorite from this to put in the comment, i ended up just highlighting the whole thing

    “a beanie-clad Ryan is having some trouble getting out of her head lately, so she decides to visit Mama Cora’s grave in hopes that she’ll get some clarity. She wonders aloud how her mom was able to make “being everything to everyone” look easy. The short answer? Cora was a Black woman who was probably taught by another Black woman that in order to raise a strong Black woman, she needed to take on everyone’s burdens without letting them see you sweat” (YES)
    the lyrics from encanto / the i thought this was “white people shit” / not even knowing you could hope for or want this / i do apologize but “strumming my pain w [her] fingers, singing my life with [her] words killing me softly with [her]” song is definitely what came on in my head while reading this. theres so much i love (the shout outs to yellowjackets, the mean girls reference! twat swat! i could go on!) and i just really appreciate the love and care you put in this and also for turning on the damn light on the kiss so i can see them!

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