Also.Also.Also: Lena Waithe and Robyn Crawford Had a Very Nice Chat and Other Stories From Your Week

feature image by Allie Holloway for O Magazine

Good morning please don’t talk to me about that car commercial I do not want to talk about it!

Vice being super contrarian out here, but not contrarian enough to not write about it. I’M JUST SAYING.

Queer as in F*ck You

Robyn Crawford Opens up to Lena Waithe About Her Relationship With Whitney Houston

Megan Rapinoe Won a Woman of the Year Award. She Thanked Colin Kaepernick.

What Happens to Queer People Who Don’t Have a Chosen Family?

‘I Was Out of There’: Ali Krieger and Ashlyn Harris Open Up About Playing for Homophobic NWSL Owner

Bethlehem Dunkin’ Stood by Customers Who Bullied Transgender Worker, Suit Says

The 23 Best LGBTQ Books of 2019 according to O magazine. Also, please note that it took me about 12 minutes to figure out that this is a slideshow and not an article, so just click the arrow on the graphic, which is like, nearly impossible to see. Ok cool good talk. Good talk/bad design. Ok cool.

Leonardo DiCaprio’s Movies, Ranked Worst to Best. This is an offshoot of 90s queer culture so don’t worry about it bye.

9 Photographers Flipping the Script on Trans and Non-Binary Representation

How Florida legally terrorized gay students:

Support Butch Pal for the Straight Gal why don’t you!!!

Saw This, Thought of You

Celebrating Native American Heritage Month: Dos and Don’ts

The Line of Fire: “Gun violence, high school football and what coaches are doing to keep their players safe.”

Millennials Have Been Supporting Their Boomer Parents On The DL, Census Data Shows

Modes of Transportation in the Wizard of Oz, Ranked

Political Snacks

Meet Some of the 60,000 LGBTQ Immigrants Impacted by DACA Hearing

The Sexism Is Getting Sneakier

Any Democratic Frontrunner Could Beat Trump if All Unregistered LGBTQ People Voted in 2020

And Finally

This Tom Hanks Story Will Help You Feel Less Bad

Laneia is the Executive Editor and founding member of Autostraddle, and you're the reason she's here.

Laneia has written 927 articles for us.


  1. Interesting fodder for thought! I strongly and wholeheartedly agree: chosen family, after all is said and done, is the difference between being alive and merely surviving. My scholarly pursuits, moreover, have shown me that the nuclear family, considered by some to be ‘natural’ or ‘biological’ is anything but, and that both non- European and older European cultures would ‘make’ family ties which would be fully valid in every respect. Hence, for example, my (chosen) sister is my sister.

    A queer chosen family, however, is something that over-stretches the power of my imagination. Here in the Capitol of Transmisogyny (which I suspect may be the place amidola mentions) I have learned to be significantly more wary of self-identified queer people than of people in society- in- general, and if somebody displays signs or tokens of affiliation with the local scenes I am instantly in Red Alert mode – which, I hasten to add, I instantly cancel when I realize I am talking to a woman who comes from Somewhere Else. I had the most heart- warming encounters with self-identified queer women from the UK, the US of A, Canada and some other places, and this is also why I come here regularly – Autostraddle, in my mental landscape, is ‘Over the Ocean’, where ‘queer’ might – weird thought! – even include me instead of invalidating and vilifying me. An online magazine is clearly not ‘family’ in any sense, but a place where I can leave armour, shield and weapons at the door, stretch my shoulders, relax – and that means a lot!

    • Agreed, you express things beautifully. I can relate to some of what you say – my wife and I live in small-town Canada, where queer community is sparse to begin with, and there are certain subgroups within it where I’ve overheard ignorant comments that let me know they would not be safe spaces for her. So it isn’t perfect here either, by any means, but the good news is that more and more people are speaking up against that kind of nonsense. I’m glad that this space exists, and that you can let down your guard here!

      • I distinctly remember when I realized this, namely during the conversation I had with you, Snow and Snaelle about those toxic play parties here. Which bother me a lot less now – I will, of course, still not go there, but I believe you are right: things may eventually change even here, and, more important: any toxicity loses its sting if you do not face it alone. And I do no longer face it alone.

    • Undercity witches more than welcome here ~ and if you ever want to share more of what you’ve discovered about chosen families, I’d love to hear!

      Here’s a comfy spot on the couch, the fire’s crackling, what’s your favorite warm drink?

      • Black tea with cream, no sugar – if I am not working, that is, in which case it is extremely strong black coffee.

        Apart from historical observations regarding chosen families, which I could probably write a book about, and maybe now I will one day – what strikes me most is that they are a way of avoiding the typical pitfalls of most monogamous relationships. With your (chosen) siblings, by means of reflection and in conversations with them, you can explore the manifold facets and aspects of something our languages now have only one poor, trampled-upon, overburdened little word for – ‘love’ in English. It is also to our advantage, I think, that literature, movies, TV and the music recording industry have neglected to spoil and derange love and relationships between chosen siblings, and, thus, we do not have to disentangle ourselves from their narratives, which all too easily become the narratives we live in other forms of relationships.

        Furthermore, the Ancients, when they ‘made’ family ties, they were very much aware that they were living in a harsh and dangerous world, and that the combined strength and resilience and wisdom of the family – in this sense – was a good way of coping with this.

        Really – if you don’t want me to talk so much you should not make such good tea.

        One more thing: sharing in the struggles and victories of your sibling and sharing her thoughts and emotions may change the way you see the world, the way you act and decide, and, I believe, always for the better.

        Truly, delicious!

        • Loving this so much! This is going to stay with me today – this idea of family ties that are like climbing ropes to uplift instead of constrict.

          And I hadn’t thought of the freedom of chosen sibling love being unburdened by popular culture, although the idea of naming anything being both a blessing and a curse is one that has played around in my brain cavities for many years.

          See, this is exactly why I make excellent tea!

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