Autostraddle’s Ultimate Holigay Gift Guide 2014: What We Want

Stef, Music Editor


Bear Bottle Opener

This is for all the times when I’m not at A-Camp and can’t just turn to the living, breathing bear standing next to me and politely ask it to open my beverage for me. All things considered, I wouldn’t mind this skull one either.

Fire Escape Shelves

I was initially going to buy these when I moved away from New York because I thought they’d help me not miss the city as much, but then I never bought them and then I moved back anyway so whatever. I still want them because they’re goddamn adorable.

Ice Balls

I have no idea why I believe that perfect spheres of ice will cause my whiskey to magically taste better, but it turns out that I do.

Death By Audio Ghost Delay pedal

For the last couple of years, I’ve done most of my musical endeavors as strictly studio projects – leaving me with years and years’ worth of half-finished songs that barely anybody’s ever heard. This year, I resolve to actually join some bands and play some shows, and to do that, I need a bunch of gear. If I’m gonna actually play my guitar outside of my bedroom, I’m gonna need to make some weird sounds come out of it. Enter the Ghost Delay, which will make all my songs sound like they’re being performed by actual ghosts.

Moog EWSTD019 Etherwave Theremin

But like, if I’m going to stay inside and work on music all by my lonesome, the least you could do is buy me this theremin. I love learning how to play new instruments, and the theremin (an electronic instrument you play by moving your hands around above it to control pitch and volume) is deeply, wonderfully odd. I’ll use it to get in touch with my inner Myrtle Snow.

Alley, Contributing Editor


Fire Stick

If I didn’t want it for the title alone I’d def want to add it to my collection of TV tech toys. Even though we already have a Chromecast in the house it sometimes ends up in my housemate’s room and the FIre Stick is only 5 bucks more for 4x the storage twice the memory. Also stoked about the remote, even if I will probably lose it in the couch cushions (but hey we find underwear so it evens out) and voice search that supposedly “just works.”

Burnetie Harvard Men’s shoes

Anyone who knows me knows I have a little bitty problems with shoes, mostly sneakers. I have an entire Ikea shelf system dedicated to them. But these ones are totally practical you guys! They are comfortable enough to feel like sneaks but classy and hip enough to dress up enough for work. It’s like a Portland dress shoe and I need them ok? Plus there’s only 3 left and one of them in my size, though I am usually lucky enough to find men’s shoes in my size since 8s are on the small side. This also means they’re usually on clearance…just like these!

EPTM. Geo-Paneled Joggers

Working from home several days of the week means I often don’t leave pajamas. But sometimes I don’t like to look like a complete slovenly mess and the same goes for my workouts. These joggers look like a fashionable way to be comfortable on the couch or at the gym and unlike similar fashion sweats they’re under a hundred dollars and come in my size instead of stopping at the one just below me (I’m looking at you Levi’s!).

Under the Bed Storage Bag – Faux Jute

If I’m going to be getting all these clothes and shoes I need some place to put it and under the bed and out of site is the perfect place. But then again I still want the storage unit to go with the decor in case it does need to sit out somewhere. And that it is fabric and malleable and therefore can be stuffed in a corner…brilliant.

Robin, Contributing EditorHoligayPost

Hario Cold Brew Coffee Pot

Y’all, I’m obsessed with collecting coffee gear. I already own Hario’s excellent hand-crank coffee grinder, a single-cup pourover cone, a French press, a Vietnamese coffee phin, and a regular ol’ Mr. Coffee. All I’m missing from this setup is an all-in-one system for making cold brew. This all-in-one system. I won’t have to worry about filtering at all. It’ll already done for me. Hot damn. Happy holidays.

Bowers & Wilkins C5 S2 Headphones

I have two sets of everyday over-the-ear headphones, the Audio-Technica ATH-M30 and the AKG K240 Stereos, and both double as very effective earmuffs for the winter months. Lately, though, I’ve been cultivating my pompadour, so anything with a headband is out. These Bowers & Wilkins earbuds not only come with an inline mic, but they sound so good that I don’t feel too vain for wanting (tho really, needing) them.


Just the top three that I want this year: The Empathy Exams by Leslie Jamison because I haven’t read it yet but I know in my bones I will want to reread it forever; Deathless by Catherynne Valente because I have read it and I want to reread it forever; Kissing the Witch by Emma Donoghue because queer fractured fairy tales.

Rainbow Unicorn Squishable


Fikri, Contributing Editor


Klipsch X11i Earphones

My bag got stolen during my last month in London and this is the last thing I haven’t been able to replace. Probably because these earphones are obscenely expensive and I’m getting too old to listen to music while trying to concentrate on other things, but listening to music in bed in the dark with my old X10s used to be one of my favourite things in the world.

BEYOND: Two Souls for PS3

That is Ellen Page’s face, you guys. I think it is clear how this is immediately relevant to my/our interests. I also wouldn’t say no to Portal 2, Alice: Madness Returns or The Last of Us.

And then if someone could do grad school for me while I tackled these, that’d be good too.



The Darker Nations: A People’s History of the Third World by Vijay Prashad

I have a massive book problem: I usually bring a couple of books along with me when I travel and then I come back with 5-7 more — every week without fail. (I also have a massive travel problem.) Yet somehow this book has eluded me in my transnational quest to visit every independent queer/anarchist bookstore in existence, so I’m almost ready to give in and hit the check out button on Amazon.

Lydia, Fashion/Style Editor


Moleskine 4 x 2.5 Weekly Horizontal Planner

I’m a Virgo. I like to plan things, and I love products that are concise and direct. I still like writing things down/I don’t fully trust my iPhone. Don’t tell Siri. This my favourite fuckin’ planner because it’s teensy but somehow has enough space for alllll the things.

Beyonce, Platinum Edition

The only thing better than Beyonce is platinum Bey. Need I say more?

MacBook Pro

This one is more wishful thinking than anything else, but it’d be nice to update to a computer from this decade. That doesn’t require being plugged in at all time. To my Toshiba: I still love you, just the way you are, but I gotta upgrade ya.

A.P.C. Francoise Lace Up Boots

I’ve learned the value in purchasing quality footear, now that my daily commute involves lots of walking. These French beauties are classic enough to warrant a large sum, and I can’t resist the nod to Victorian granny boots. Gimme!

Tim Walker: Story Teller

This is a giant coffeetable book by my favourite fashion photographer. Tim creates entire alternate universes within his photos, and quite often takes my breath away. He’s also a master of studio portraiture, cultivating immense depth and individuality in an environment which is often dry and boring. This book is infinitely inspiring!

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  1. every year when we do this i am so jealous of other people’s finely-tuned commercial desires. y’all have such good lists! i need to get on your level, but first i wanna get that french press.

  2. Rachel, Lynda Barry’s Syllabus is FANTASTIC! I am a gigantic Lynda Barry fan, I’ve even briefly met her and she’s more amazing in person than you might imagine! This new book of her’s is so inspiring. I follow the tumblr that most of the material in the book is from, so I’ve seen it, but put all together it made me so excited about creating things. I wanted to write a book after reading it. Its has so many wonderful writing exercises! <3

  3. Ooohh so many things to ask for. I second the bose headphones. I have the active one, it is sweat and water resistant. They are holding up really well after about 1.5 years of constant gym use.

    Also if you like boots you might want to take a peek at seavees.

    But what I want most on my list is for all of you to buy those YDY stickers!!!!!!!!!! =)

  4. i thought smartwool was great until i was introduced to darn tough. they are made in vermont and, last i checked, have a lifetime guarantee. where all of my smartwool socks are filled with holes, my darn toughs are still super intact. y’all…these socks are amazing…also, i realize an unhealthy portion of my life is spent thinking about socks.

    • I used to sell hiking socks, amongst other things. I appreciate a good quality long lasting, comfy, wicking sock. On extreme PMT days when I was very stressed I occasionally would tear up selling particularly excellent merino wool based socks.

      And now I’m sharing this on the Internet.

    • Oooh this is good to know! I have generally been dismissive of DT socks because the only time I’ve had them they were sort of icky little sport socks that were too small, but maybe they are worth giving another shot!

    • Definitely putting these on my Christmas list! Continuing a trend from last year, when my brother gave me a pair of hiking socks and also a can opener that doesn’t work. This year, I’ll settle for socks with a lifetime guarantee, and he can keep his defective kitchen gadgets to himself.

  5. I just, like a few days ago, learned that cold brew coffee is a thing and totally just bought that pot. Can’t wait to start whipping up homemade, dairy-free frappuccinos (in my new misandrist shirt!)

  6. Laneia! I have that bag! I rarely use it because it’s way bigger than I imagined in would be and it’s hard to get into on the go because you have to use the buttons. But it’s gorgeous and when I’m traveling, it holds all of my things without forcing me to lug a giant backpack around!

  7. I second the Klipsch X11. I had the X5 before it hit its demise the second time in the wash cycle, and it is the best in ears I have ever used. They are so small, light and comfortable. I can only imagine how much nicer the X7(replaced the X5) and X11 are with the better quality cable. I may try and see if I can get the X7/11 cables swapped onto my X5.

  8. How did I not know that Rocky Horror makeup existed?

    I’ll be off now, contemplating the general incompleteness of my life.

    Perhaps it’s shallow and materialistic to think that lipstick could improve my life . . . but I’ll never know until I try.

  9. I bought the Winterberry Tart Coat years ago (maybe 5?) and I STILL LOVE IT SO MUCH. It’s a gorgeous colour, a beautiful cut with a really fun asymmetric hem, a great collar that you can button up to your neck, cute (*hand made*) leather details, wonderful deep pockets, and is so flattering. I still get compliments on it, and it has held up to the test of time so well!

  10. Kate, you are a genius and I hope you get that Drake shirt because you truly deserve it.

    And Chelsey, I totally almost put Texts from Jane Eyre on my list, but I left it off because I already had too many things, so I’m glad you put it!

  11. Oh gosh I just put flannel sheets on my bed last night and it is THE best–not only are they incredibly soft but the weight also helps them stay where you put them, so even notorious sheet-twisters (…like me) wake up in properly layered bedding instead of in a tangle of whatever blankets didn’t fall off the bed. It’s miraculous, really.

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