“Not being an asshole” to myself meant admitting that my mom’s death and her illness permeate every single part of my being, and always will.

“He didn’t feel any pain. He died instantly.” That was how she told me that my father was dead. I was 14.

“You’re marching gallantly to your grave Laneia. We all are. We’re all spinning spinning spinning just grazing fingertips on things in hopes we’ll leave a mark. Anyway you should stop opening your mouth so wide when you brush your teeth. Keep those wrinkles down.”