I put a lot of pressure on myself to learn and revel in the customs of “our people,” which meant that I always included a small scoop of the fish salad on mine and then tried to avoid it the rest of the night.

It’s a boy, until and unless he tells us otherwise, I thought. It’s a boy who will be raised without gender roles. It’s a boy who will be defined by their heart and mind, not by the organs that happen to be between their legs. It’s a boy who will be loved wholly, deeply, and completely by the two women who created him.