“Don’t even talk to me re: nipples.” (Susan Powter)

We interview Kim, Hijacking Glambert, Alice in Wonderland, John & Kate Who, Women Sort Yourselves, Women War Protesters, Lady GaGa, to be honest with you I already wrote this and wordpress erased it and I’m gonna scream!

“In a number of the photos released by Britney’s management, a heavy-set older man in a white, sleeveless working man’s vest can be seen hovering in the background. That’s her father, Jamie Spears, who took complete legal control of her life last year. It’s he who has the whip hand in Britney’s life now.”

Queerty decides to throw the biggots a bone with ten reasons against gay marriage. Stargate Universe gets a lez. And for once, the media is paying attention to the death of a troubled teen who isn’t white.

“I should’ve pitched that f*cking book, I have a lot of imaginary stories made up about Britney’s life during the meltdown.”

“Apparently I am suffering from GBICT, or Gay Blog Induced Carpal Tunnel. In an effort to relax, I turned on the teevee. I saw this terrible thing on True Life: I Hate my Small Boobs. So I had to look it up and see what the fuck was up with that girl’s Mom”

Carlytron & Riese visit Johnny McGovern’s Big Gay Pimp Show, Adam Lambert signs a record deal and comes out on the cover of Rolling Stone, Rachel Maddow calls Obama Out, Anderson Cooper chats with Dan Choi, Lindsay & Sam travel together, Margaret Cho says “let my people go,” Sarah Palin appears in the woods.

Bloomberg urges NY to pass gay marriage bill, and 17% of therapists still “try to curb homosexual tendencies” in their patients. Lesbian movies!

This week on Glee people draw mustaches on photos, Will finally realizes his own wife isn’t now — nor has ever been — pregnant, and Carlytron finally manages to enjoy this show again.

“In this world, denying gayness is not keeping your private life private. It is, essentially, accepting either 1) Straightness (e.g., John Travolta) or 2) An obvious and compromising closeted lifestyle (e.g., Queen Latifah). In Adam’s case, that’d be lying, and lying is bad. But he hasn’t lied. So yes, it is relevant.”

So the fix is a little late today, but we’re kinda EXACTLY ON TIME for tonight’s glaad media awards in San Francisco AND The White House Correspondents Dinner hosted by out lesbian Wanda Sykes.

“We’re all too hung up on labels and linguistics — the way I see it is that Pink’s using her own words to refer to the same concept that the media is implicating when it employs the word “bisexual.” Here’s a source from 2006 –“

Wanda Sykes, Is my Marriage Gay, Lady Gaga’s Poker Face, Dan Choi, Christian Pagan Buddhist Goddess Worshipers, more Miss California

Miss California continues to be an asshat, & we created a girl-on-girl gallery in honor of it! Joel Booster must be blind because he is claiming there’s an increase in teevee diversity. LiLo might be going back to men, oh noes.

Adam Lambert, Lady GaGa, the Arnold, Dame Edna and Wanda Sykes give good interview, Prop 8 debates rage on with a new federal court case, and Carmen auto-straddles Shane.

Wanna see Claire’s big lesbian kiss scene? We got it. Wanna be sure no one knows you’re gay? No homo. Plus, in defense of Lindsay Lohan, in defense of radio, and Jim & Pam get married!

Gays can get married in Maine, Jennifer Beals runs, & Marie Osmond is down with her gay daughter.

Obama to the HRC: “I’m here with a simple message. I’m here with you, in that fight.” Obama pinky-swore and pretty-promised to do everything we want him to do. So, lesbians – what now?

On one of the last straggling days of summery skies and subsequent sunburns, Equality Across America lured queer freedom fighters, the out & proud, the ambitious allies and the hungover & downtrodden to Washington, D.C. for The National Equality March for GLBTQ rights.

We are clearly in November sweeps, because TV is just OOC right now. Get the skinny on Gossip Girl, How I Met Your Mother, Heroes, V, Grey’s Anatomy, Tabatha’s Salon Takeover, all of the Real Housewives, Parks and Recreation, SNL and more!