Lesbians Pick 25 NSFW Sexy Turn-Ons, It’s a Finale!

GALLERY: Happy Valentine’s Day! Have you had a cupcake? Listened to some love/anti-love songs? Put on an outfit? Defended Taylor Swift?

Ok we’re tired now! So today is our very last installment of the lesbian sexy photo project. Here’s the previous installments: 60 Turn-Ons: More Lesbian Sexy NSFW Sunday Spectaculars and Lesbian Sexy in 27 Parts: An NSFW Sunday Spectacular.

Howevs if anyone happens to track down a photo of:

+ “girls who drink too much and yell at the neighbor’s cat”
+ “girls who have read Brett Easton Ellis”
+ “a girl wearing glasses on her laptop, in boyshorts or jeans and no shirt, just a bra” (which I feel could be taken in any of our rooms, really)

… do let us know.

The final 26.

 

HARNESS: Jiz Lee on how to pick a harness for her favorite cock, the Outlaw Dildo. (@jizlee)

SEXY SONGS: Billboard’s 50 Sexiest Songs of All Time. (@billboard)

SEXY PEOPLE: Billboard also asked its readers for the sexiest pop stars of all time. Britney Spears snagged number one, followed by Beyoncè, Miley Cyrus (?), Rihanna, Lady Gaga, Carrie Underwood, Shakira, NICOLE SCHERZINGER (who?), Taylor FUCKING SWIFT & Katy fucking Perry. The good news is that Adam Lambert won Sexiest Man in pop hands down. Holler! We called that shit ourselves, obviously. (@billboard)

WARRIOR PRINCESS: Lucy Lawless’ Ancient Roman Nipple Clamps. (@fleshbot)

SEXY FLICKR ALERT: On the magic of tumblr; via cuteboyishlesbiangirls via cinderandsmoke via malloreigh – found dwam’s flickr account. She’s a Suicide Girl and a kickass photographer. She’s friends with nanou, who we think is quite good-looking. She describes herself as “a comic-book artist, a tattooist, and sometimes a photographer-joke. I’m a witch, a model, a clown, a storm, a geekette, a SuicideGirl, the cat who goes by herself… I’m a jill of all trades, and an image-maker.” You can spend at least 3-4 hours today looking through her photos, and then before you know it, sunset, sunrise, the first day. (@flickr)

VAGINA POWER: I’ve been hearing about, and even watching bits and pieces of clips of, Alexyss Tylor – a local cable TV host (local where, not sure) who speaks to her church about the power of vagina. At first I thought she was just whacked. Now I don’t think she’s whacked necessarily, or if she is, she’s wacky with a side of surrounding herself with the right people who know how to get her even more attention.” (@jayme waxman)

CAPRICIA: Maxim has a photoshoot with Caprica’s Alessandra Torresani. (@maxim)

GALLERY: 13 Sexy Valentines for Valentine’s: these are girls allegedly with the last name Valentine. Are they as cute as Hunter Valentine? We doubt it. (@coed)

DINNER: My Hands Are My Heart: “What’s crazy about all the standard Valentine’s Day gifts is that they all have narcotic effects, really! Go out and have some wine, and eat a big rich meal, and you’re really not going to want to fuck when you get home!.. You know what you should do, if you do go to the restaurant… FUCK FIRST. Fuck at four o’clock, if you have dinner reservations at eight. Fuck twice if you have dinner reservations at eight, then go to the restaurant. And toast the awesome relationship you have, and the amazing sex you just had, and then go home and collapse into bed, and fall the fuck asleep.” (@savagelove via @sugarbutch)

SHOP: Now that Valentine’s Day is over, there’s lots of cheap stuff, like Sue Johansons’ very own Berman Center Aphrodite Infrared Rechargeable Massager, The Screaming O Bullet Mini Vibrator, Assorted Colors or just lie on your couch with Anias Nin’s Little Birds.


SEXY TUMBLR ALERT: The description of defining myself is strange, but also sort of smoky/alluring in a cute way. There are lots of naked girls on it and half-naked girls or kissing girls. They all look like they live in Europe and smoke and have thoughts, it’s gentle but also hard. It’s hard to explain. You should just look at it.

LOUDSEX: Everyone in new York city can hear everyone else have sex all the time!

Also, some Winter Olympians are posing in their bikinis! I don’t know, is that bad? like objectifying people. Well, they’re cute.


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Riese is the 36-year-old CEO, CFO and Editor-in-Chief of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, blogger, fictionist, copywriter, video-maker, low-key power lesbian and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and then headed West. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image & Other Hazards Of Being Female," magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 2537 articles for us.

39 Comments

  1. But there were only 25! False advertising! 😉 They’ve been my favourite thing recently, after the Taylor Swift article.

    I don’t want to like the winter olympians photo shoots…but I do.

    Also..Boooonjooour Nanou! Hot.

      • Definately rocking. I’m quite fond of looking at lovely pics with hot people in them.

        Cheers! Wind turbines are awesome. There’s controversy here about them (visual impact on the land, noise pollution)which is bizarre as NZ ‘known’ (in reality..) as being ‘clean and green’.

  2. i feel like “first rate google skills” was submitted by riese. and i feel like “drawstrings on pajama pants” would probs like me A LOT.

    re: bikini olympics photo shoot — seems like most of them are so young, right? i don’t know the age of these particular women, but i feel like the olympics are filled w/ ppl in their late teens / early twenties. and i guess honestly? i have a problem w/ anyone even offering to photograph them in bikinis / topless. IN OTHER NEWS APPARENTLY I’M A COMPLETE PRUDE WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN I HAVE NO IDEA MAYBE IT’S JUST LATE AT NIGHT AND I’M INSANE.

    • I would think that one holding her young-woman-boobs would be tarnishing her wholesome image? They aren’t allowed to compete if they have, like sex or lacy underpants, are they? God forbid if anyone traveled there with a vibe in their suitcase. OOH that’s what they should have a “safe place” for! Sex toys.

      • oh i figured it out! i was feeling motherly and wanting to protect them, instead of objectify them. like, instead of thinking of them as ppl who should immediately disrobe and impress us their underwear / breasts / waists, i’d like for them to be able to impress us with their skills as athletes.

        but also i’m ovulating, so maybe it’s just that.

        • Maybe it’s just because I’m ovulating too, but I’m picking up what you’re throwing down. What gets me is the double standard–you don’t see the US men’s ski and snowboard team being asked to strip down to a pair of speedos and a scarf and pose coquettishly for the camera.

          The trouble is we can appreciate men for their looks OR their skills, but in order for us to appreciate a woman’s skills, especially her scary mannish ATHLETE skills, she still has to bring it in the looks and traditional femininity department, and be willing to play up that image for our viewing pleasure. God, I love living in a genderless society.

  3. 1. Vouching for the Spareparts Joque Harness (dope)
    2. Hair pulling, Michelle Rodrigues & Oral Fixations. All vices I struggle with daily…
    3. Taylor Swift (Katy Perry & Miley Cyrus for that matter)is like the “straight” girl you fucked senior year in highschool who wrote sappy, disgusting love letters and left them in you’re locker or interrupted your conversations for attention. You wished every day that she’d moved to a far away place where communication was non-existent. Either that or spontaneous combustion.

  4. oh em gee… That Alexyss Tyra chick was beyond precious. I laughed way too hard. It must have been the power of the penis. There are way too many quotable gems that i’ll be using this week, For instance:

    -Her vagina is cold.
    -Some women are hooked on cummin’.
    -Not all penises are created equally.
    -Now she’s insane, her mind ain’t good cause the penis done ejaculated all in her brain.

    They’re are better ones, but this comment is taken too long to write ’cause I cannot stop laughing.

    Beyond all that wisdom she be droppin, my favorite part is the very end… “VAGINA POWERRRR”. 😀 The only thing that could possibly make that clip better is Family Guy doing a parody of it.

    Alexyss Tyler = WIN.

  5. Ahhh Curly Hair <333 Nothing makes me more happy than when a girl says "You know what, I'm not going to straighten my hair today."

    And on the note of Sexiest Pop Stars, I just saw Adam Lambert in concert on Friday and not gonna lie. It was super sexy and crazy fun.

  6. song number three on the sexiest songs list is “i’ll make love to you.” not only is this song 86 times more hilarious than romantic, the fountain in the square outside my house that plays music [i know] was all about it around christmas. nothing says holiday cheer quite like listening to boyz 2 men 4-5 times a day.

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  8. “A girl in the kitchen, in a dress, liking musicals”

    i think this would be just as swell if you replaced “kitchen” with “shower”, and “a dress” with “the nude”. i’m a sucker for singing in the shower. =]

  9. Psst, I’m a serious poet, with one dimple, first rate google skills (I really do call myself the google queen), who swears, wears her hair messy, and has hips. 😉

    STOP THROWING TASHA IN THE MIX WITH NO WARNING.
    AS, you’re the kind of best friend who toys with me because she knows my weaknesses, namely Rose Rollins. This is cruelty. I will be stealing your next bf. And then you’ll cry and call me a meanie and then tell me you don’t actually care that much because you think you like girls and I’ll cry because I like girls too and we’ll embrace each other and eat jars of nutella before we go twat-hunting.

    That sex songs list is bull. “Would You Mind” by Janet Jackson is the most provoking song EVER.

    NICOLE SCHERZINGER is mad sexy, guys, we should know who she is.

  10. FUCK FIRST. Fuck at four o’clock, if you have dinner reservations at eight. Fuck twice if you have dinner reservations at eight, then go to the restaurant. And toast the awesome relationship you have, and the amazing sex you just had, and then go home and collapse into bed, and fall the fuck asleep! – this…. Is…. TRUE .. Wisdom!!!

  11. Ahh, I’ve been watching Alexyss K. Tylor since I arrived to college. She was my sex education. She is my spiritual advisor. And with one quote, she’s the reason why I came out as lesbian.

    “Dick’ll make you slap somebody. Honey, Dick’ll make you shoot somebody in the face…”

    Somebody find this woman a Nobel Prize!

  12. Well I got boobs, one dimple and saweeeet Google skills…

    God I’m a catch.

    *Note to self: next time you get drunk and stagger into the garden shoeless to shout at one of the millions of rescue cats living next door for crapping on your lawn AGAIN, take photo for AS*

    Am having an extended lunch break to think about all these things now, good work on providing the ultimate distraction.

  13. “a girl wearing glasses on her laptop, in boyshorts or jeans and no shirt, just a bra” (which I feel could be taken in any of our rooms, really)

    Damn. As I read this, I’m sitting on my laptop in just my bra & underwear, my floor littered in jeans & shorts I could easily put on, but I lost my glasses 🙁
    As soon as I find them, I’m taking this picture. xD

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