Yo, feliz Friday, oh most fierce, hyper-intelligent and oh so sexified children of love. Did you get all that? That was a lot for a greeting but you already know, I meant every word. It’s that time of the week again also known as the Friday Open Thread where we share our deepest secrets and favorite selfies and I know this open thread situation is for everyone but can I just say that I really need this space right now? I’m not gonna get into the details because I did that already here but if I could pay each of you a dollar for a hug, I would. Life is weird and hard and violent and holy shit, is it ok if I just snuggle myself and watch Bob’s Burgers for an hour or twenty-four? I vote Tina Belcher for Queen of the Summer, btw.
BUT IT’S SUMMER and we’re supposed to be having all the fun. Are you having fun, sweet bae, or nah? I want to know. This summer we’ve been hit mad hard with so much important stuff to worry about, stuff that goes beyond our bills, our health issues, our awkward families. I was going to make a list but if you have the internet in your life then you’ve probably heard about Ferguson and the death of Mike Brown, Robin Williams, the man who made me believe in Neverland dying, Detroit’s water war against its people, Ebola, and Sarah fucking Palin getting a damn TV Channel like as if she was even half as important as weather or food. (Oprah should be allowed to backhand her whole entire channel tho, for real).
With all of this chaos swirling around us, we need to actively engage in summer self-care and read Beyoncé/Nicki Minaj femslash while eating S’mores ice cream sandwiches from Trader Joe’s and taking a minute to take a deep breath and chill out.
It is imperative that you put on your flyest fatkini and strut every inch of your body and take a picture, take a million. Gather up your favorite weirdos, a soft football, red plastic cups, cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon and Lime Rickeys free of alcohol, and take yo asses to the beach. Take more pictures. If you hate the beach and don’t wanna flash any inch of flesh, then by all means do whatever it is that you do in the summer and do it well. Find a foxy loverboi, fall in love hard, fall in love like the summer will never end and sweat out your doobie wrap makin’ love, mami, cuz you deserve it.
This is my first time hosting a Friday Open Thread, btw. So, talk dirty to me. But not like Jason Derulo, more like Janelle Monae in the Electric Lady Video, ok? Don’t tell me that hasn’t been the most swoon-inducing video of your summer/life. Cuz you will be lying. Talk to me in your best Spanglish. However you communicate, dimelo. What summer things have given you life? Is there a smoking hot mid-August fling happening right now? I want to know! Are you the smoking hot thing? Have you nailed this summer so hard that you’re puffing a cigar for yo damn self? Also, what books are you reading while laying out? Where have you gone on vacay? What did you eat at your abuela’s cook out? Undo your belt, let your gut loose and tell me all the things in the comments.
I will be here, waiting to talk and dish like as if I was Mama Ru at a BBQ.
How To Post A Photo In The Comments:
1. Find a photo!This is the easy part. Find a photo on the web, right click (on a Mac, control+click), hit “Copy Image URL” and then…
2. Code it in to your comment! Use the following code, and use a DIRECT LINK to the image. Your image link should end in .JPG or .GIF or .PNG or .CallMeWhateverYouWant even. I don’t care, but it should be an image suffix!
How To Post A Video In The Comments, Too:
1. Find a video on YouTube or Vimeo or WHATEVER and click “embed.” Copy that code, but first make sure it’s for 640px wide or less. If your player is too large, it will not display properly.
2. Copy the code and paste it directly into your comment.
3. Go forth and jam.