NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Is Packing Under Her Skirt

feature image of Danielle photographed by robin roemer for autostraddle. All of the photographs on NSFW Sundays are taken from various tumblrs and do not belong to us. All are linked and credited to the best of our abilities in hopes of attracting more traffic to the tumblrs and photographers who have blessed us with this imagery. The inclusion of a photograph here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If there is a photo included here that belongs to you and you want it removed, please email bren [at] autostraddle dot com and it will be removed promptly, no questions asked.


Welcome to NSFW Sunday!

+ If you are not satisfied with an arrangement with a partner (or anyone, honestly), the best way to deal with it is to talk about it with your actual mouths:

“Yes, confrontation is scary. Admitting you have these frustrations with your living arrangement – let alone that you would like them to be dealt with – is terrifying. But to share space effectively with someone else, one has to have the courage to summon up one’s needs from where they’ve been safely stowed away and introduce those needs to one’s partner. ‘Here’s my need for some alone time, especially when I first come home from work,’ one says. ‘Here’s my need for affection and approval, and here’s my need for the occasional Shouldless Day spent watching ‘Dr. Who’ or re-reading T.H. White or dressing up the cats like the cast of ‘Rocky Horror’ and posting pictures on Instagram.’

It doesn’t matter how seemingly rational those needs are, how mundane, how reflexive, how petty. They’re your needs, and they’re powerful, and you’re stuck with them.”

+ Melissa Gira Grant, in her profile of Kink.com in Dissent, discuss the invisible labor of the “guests” that attend and appear in its Upper Floor sex parties:

“The Upper Floor, with its regal affectations and exclusive invite list, classes up commercial sex, and, to a certain extent, makes it acceptable. Stefanos estimates that 90 percent of the guests at the party shoots have zero aspirations of working in porn: riffing on what he says guests have told him, he added, ‘It’s like, if I was getting paid for it, I’d have to think too hard about it.’

Guests, like all of us accustomed to converting our offline lives into online content, have no reason to feel they are working while on the Upper Floor. Rather, they are something like users, perfecting and performing an ideal version of their sexual selves. What’s described as a time of great innovation and disruption in online porn — user-generated content, live updates, all feeding your own platform and brand — is the same game that is playing out on Facebook.”

bryden jenkins via lesfemmes

bryden jenkins via lesfemmes

+ American schools suck at teaching sex ed, according to a new study from the Centers for Disease Control:

“The CDC study, which we saw via NPR, is based on the agency’s National School Health Profiles, surveys conducted at U.S. schools every two years. The study, which you can read in full here, asks middle and high schools whether they’re teaching 16 recommended sex ed topics, ranging from how you get pregnant, how HIV and other STIs are spread, the efficacy of condoms, how to use them, and creating ‘healthy, respectful’ relationships. Surprise: most schools aren’t teaching all, or even some, of those things.”

+ Putting all your crushes into a secret Facebook group: a thing you could do:

“I anticipated the reaction to the group to be negative. I figured it would maybe burn a bridge or two, but if anything, that would prove a crush didn’t have a good sense of humor about themselves. About half reached out to me individually–either by text or a private Facebook message–with reactions ranging from ‘Just wanna know what I’m getting involved in’ to ‘you are wild.’ But no one left! And no one complained. In fact, everyone seemed willing and game, one crush even mentioning that she thought she’d probably wind up adding them all on Facebook at some point. I was worried I would have to push content or discussions forward, and yet, three days in, one of my crushes asked what everyone was doing for lunch that day. I found over time my crushes enjoyed participating in polls and also discussing ‘Master Of None’ (which we all seemingly watched the same week).”

Feature photo of hantisedeloubli via alexandreanissa.

Feature photo of hantisedeloubli via alexandreanissa

+ Queer erotica author and photographer B.D. Swain has made a porny poker deck that might be relevant to your interests. Also, use the promo code STRADDLETHIS for a flat rate of $10 a deck including free priority shipping in the US.

+ Trans Equality has published a report on transgender experiences in the sex trade (pdf).

+ I had never heard of “cuffin’ season” before this post but maybe you will find it deeply validating on some level.

+ At Oh Joy Sex Toy, Erika Moen reviewed the Ambrosia (which we also reviewed recently).

+ What cities are “the sexiest”?

+ Will you cheat on your partner? (I don’t love this article’s equation of non-monogamy and cheating, but regardless.) If you complain about them to your friends, can’t ask for what you want, are an age that ends with “9,” lie to your partner about small things and get away with it, spend a lot of time with someone attractive and interested, and constantly find fault with your partner, then the answer is probably “yes.”

+ From the Autostraddle Lesbian Sex Archives: remember when DeAnne Smith wrote about dating?:

“The first step is knowing whether or not you are actually on a date. For me, this is the hardest part. If someone asks me to do something and that someone is cute, I am almost never sure if it’s a friend-date or a date-date. I’m never sure if when someone uses the word ‘date,’ they just mean ‘date’ or they mean ‘date-date’ or they mean ‘date-date-date’ or they mean the edible sweet fruit of the date palm. (Mmm…)”

Also remember that time we reviewed the Bi Stronic Fusion?

Carolyn Yates was formerly the NSFW Editor (2013–2018) and Literary Editor for Autostraddle.com. Her writing has appeared in Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Bitch, Xtra!, Jezebel, and elsewhere. She lives in Los Angeles by way of Montreal and Toronto. Find her on twitter or instagram.

Carolyn has written 964 articles for us.

8 Comments

  1. ok BUT… the person who wrote the “I put all my crushes in a fb group” article defines crushes as just “a low-stakes excuse to flirt with someone you see semi-regularly” and they say they don’t want to date their crushes they “just like them!” so…. what they’re actually talking about is not a crush but a mildly attractive & likable person you kinda know. I see why putting all those people in one fb group would work out but real crushes? They require a level of commitment to fantasizing about that person’s face and the cute dates / great sex you could have together that goes beyond “just liking” someone.

  2. this weeks title is hot and the cute trans couple is very cute and trans

    FYI autostraddle editors: moar trans girls in lesbosexy sunday and moar lighthearted, sexy trans girl pieces that are about something other than how we keep dying.

    mayb i’ll write a thing and send it to u folx, be the change etc.

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