Controversial Queer Films Your Group Chat Probably Fought About

If we learned anything from last year’s Emilia Pérez debacle — aka watching the movie Emilia Pérez — what might seem like an abomination against the art of cinema to one queer person can be a new fave for another. How easy it would be if we all agreed which movies were offensive, which movies were true to our experiences, and which movies deserved mainstream success. But also how boring! As long as everyone remains reasonably respectful, a good discourse can bring us together as much as it brings us apart.

Let’s look back on some of the most controversial queer films of the last 30+ years to argue all over again. These are films that were/are controversial within our community — not films where the divide was clear between straights and gays.

Which of these films do you love? Which of these films do you hate? Which of these films did you hate but now you’re willing to give a second shot?


Basic Instinct (1992)

Sharon Stone places a hand on another woman's chest in controversial film Basic Instinct

There have always been people who hate Paul Verhoeven’s work and people who love it. But Basic Instinct had the unfortunate timing of being released in the early 90s when tensions were high in regards to queer representation. While the film was protested at the time of its release, it always had its defenders including the official reviewer for Deneuve Magazine, a group that has grown in the decades since, and includes Margaret Cho and Halina Reijn.


Kissing Jessica Stein (2001)

Jennifer Westfeldt stands with her arms crossed next to Heather Juergensen as Tovah Feldshuh serves food.

A lesbian romcom where the lead ends up with a man? Must be 2001! That was the exhaustion many queer audiences brought to this movie 20+ years ago. But removed from the context of lesbian cinema tropes, this film feels less offensive and more complicated. It might not be a good lesbian romcom, but it’s a great queer one!


The Kids Are All Right (2010)

Annette Bening and Julianne Moore laugh next to each other on a couch in The Kids Are All Right

Another film where the controversy revolved around one of its leads hooking up with a man! Many seemed to go to this film hoping to see their own experience of lesbian motherhood reflected on-screen. But Lisa Cholodenko’s work is always going to be more interesting than mere representation. Sometimes lesbians have sex with sperm donor Mark Ruffalo and that is valid.


The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011)

Rooney Mara as Lisbeth Salander walks through a narrow hallway

The controversy around this one was actually split into three groups: people who loved the movie, people who hated the movie because they preferred the Swedish adaptation, and people who hated the movie because they hated the entire conceit. I’m sympathetic to people who loved Noomi Rapace as Lisbeth Salander and I’m sympathetic to people who don’t want to see this much sexual violence in their bisexual tech girl thrillers. But, personally, I think this is by far the better adaptation and a great film overall.


Blue is Warmest Color (2013)

Lea Seydoux and Adele Exarchopoulos look at art in a museum in Blue is the Warmest Color

If this list was ranked, this Palme d’or winner would be at the top. Even before we knew about the abusive set environment experienced by the lead actresses, this film was controversial for its so-called male gaze and long sex scenes. It’s always questionable when people flatout say statements like “lesbians don’t have sex like that” but it’s also an understandable reaction when a film garners this much praise from people outside our community. Ultimately, I think the film’s biggest problem is it’s just a kind of basic coming out story. The good news is the film’s director Abdellatif Kechiche isn’t up to much, while the film’s leads are having thriving careers in even better queer cinema.


Rough Night (2017)

Zoë Kravitz, Ilana Glazer, Jillian Bell, and Scarlett Johansson in Rough Night

This one might be Autostraddle-specific, to be honest. Back in 2017 before I worked here, I watched this movie with a shrug! Solid studio comedy but nothing that would hint at my enthusiasm for Lucia Aniello and Paul W. Downs’ earlier work on Broad City or later work on Hacks. But the trailer suggested that the film was a farce that treats a male stripper’s death as a punchline — which isn’t actually what happened in the movie at all. This falls into the Blockers/Jennifer’s Body category where the issue was really the marketing.


Adam (2019)

Margaret Qualley and Dana Levinson in Adam

My body has now fully decomposed given how thoroughly I died on this hill. There’s not much else I can say except that you should read the oral history and then give a really great trans film a chance.


Happiest Season (2020)

Kristen Stewart and Mackenzie Davis in Happiest Season.

Given the bonkers behavior of characters in straight Christmas movies, it’s understandable that Clea DuVall and co-writer Mary Holland assumed people would buy into their story of a closeted lesbian bringing her partner home for Christmas. Alas, many people brought far too much personal experience to the film to hold onto any holiday spirit. Words like gaslighting and abuse were thrown around as many people nine months into Covid had no patience for the behavior on-screen. Love it or hate it, everyone seems to agree Aubrey Plaza was the best part.


TÁR (2022)

A shot from below of Cate Blanchett conducting in Tár

An artful portrait of a toxic lesbian or a tiresome projection of faux cancel culture woes? Why can’t it be both? Personally, I agree with most of the issues people have with this movie and I agree with everything said by the people who love it. Sometimes art is imperfect but still worthwhile!


Am I OK? (2022)

Dakota Johnson lies next to Sonoya Mizuno in bed in Am I Ok?

I stand by everything I wrote in my pan of this film, but I will admit I could’ve said it nicer. (What’s the fun in that though…) The part of the ensuing discourse that confused me most was the suggestion that there isn’t a lot of media about lesbians who come out in their 30s or later. Like this movie if you like this movie, but that argument is DEEPLY UNTRUE. Everything from classic films like Desert Hearts to every single TV show that didn’t let its gay character be gay until later seasons had this storyline. In the end, none of the debate mattered because even media as tepid as this got sunk by the industry’s turn away from diversity. HBO Max kept it unreleased for years and by the time it finally did drop last year — probably because they had nothing else for Pride — it landed with a fizzle.


Emilia Pérez (2024)

Zoe Saldaña looks at Karla Sofía Gascón in the back of a car in Emilia Pérez.

The last thing I’ll say about Emilia Pérez — for now — is its journey from festival darling to Oscar frontrunner to disgraced punching bag is proof festivals like Cannes desperately need more diverse critics in attendance. The majority of the cis gay critics at Cannes last year loved this film, a trend that continued among many cis gays upon the film’s release. But even the trans people who loved this film had a different, more valuable perspective, once they were able to see it. While I’m sure the film would’ve still been controversial if more trans voices had been at Cannes, I think the controversy would’ve played out in a more productive, more interesting way. Well, that and if Karla Sofía Gascón had been less awful.

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Drew Burnett Gregory

Drew is a Brooklyn-based writer, filmmaker, and theatremaker. She is a Senior Editor at Autostraddle with a focus in film and television, sex and dating, and politics. Her writing can also be found at Bright Wall/Dark Room, Cosmopolitan UK, Refinery29, Into, them, and Knock LA. She was a 2022 Outfest Screenwriting Lab Notable Writer and a 2023 Lambda Literary Screenwriting Fellow. She is currently working on a million film and TV projects mostly about queer trans women. Find her on Twitter and Instagram.

Drew Burnett has written 734 articles for us.

4 Comments

  1. One thing that I find interesting is how many of these movies, were judged and dissected by the community just from trailers or other released information. Both ‘The Kids Are All Right’ and ‘Rough Night’ seemed to me a big suspect based on the trailers or information but once I saw the movies themselves, those concepts were actually not what they seemed at first glance. And then in both cases there was no way to explain this to others without spoiling the movie.

    • yes this!!!! i agree. this happens with books too, where something gets review-bombed before it even comes out, sometimes justified and sometimes not. but i wonder what we lose on the internet from this kind of thing, because logically in most cases, it doesn’t REALLY make sense to confidently judge a work of art based on three minutes of it.

  2. On Blue is the Warmest Colour: I kind of understand having to put long steamy sex scenes in this film because, having read the original graphic novel, there really isn’t a lot going on in it. Not even sex. I mean, peak 90s Lesbian drama films like Better than Chocolate or The Incredibly True Story of Two Girls in Love have more substance there than this comic had. Mostly the inclusion of a musical number!

    • Omg thank you for this opinion. I found the book to be so cliché and tepid and so much of what doesn’t work for me in the film isn’t the male gaze but the basic plot. And maybe the first time in queer media history where a straight guy changed the source material so the lesbian DIDNT die.

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