Playlist: The Last La Croix is Gone

feature image via shutterstock

It’s morning. You know this because of the birds, who are mocking you. You’ve never so much as looked sideways at a bird, yet here they are again, laughing. Your body aches and your mind searches for meaning. Suddenly you remember:

The last La Croix.

You drag your limp body as penance from the bed into the kitchen to pray at its effervescent, sodium-free altar – but the gods are not pleased. The last La Croix is gone. Someone’s taken it, or worse, you forgot to throw out the box. With everyone or no one else to blame, you experience a cycle of uncontrolled emotions like a pop of static electricity. The only thing that remains is a timeline of the crime in the form of this playlist.

The Last La Croix is Gone

SCREAM – Grimes, Aristophanes
My Hatred is Magnificent – John Maus
Killing Spree – Chromatics
Moral Panic – Y La Bamba
Strange Emotion – Jessy Lanza
After Laughter (Comes Tears) – Wendy Rene
Send the Pain Below – Chevelle
Problemz – Birdcloud
It Is What It Is – Blood Orange
Dreaming Of You – Selena
No Other Love – Jo Stafford
Come to Me – Bjork
Precious Moments – Sister Rosetta Tharpe
When Your Lover Has Gone – Ben Webster, Oscar Peterson
Blue Train – Cibo Matto
Great Divide – The Cardigans
How Do I Live – LeAnn Rimes
I’d Die Without You – P.M. Dawn

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Los Angeles based writer. Let's keep it clean out there!

Erin has written 208 articles for us.


    • I was confused too because I know it is french for the cross and how could there be a last one. Are all lines just gunna be parallel from now on?

      Nope just name for fancy water.

      • Ahahah that would be the weirdest dystopia YA novel:

        “In a world where everything is parallel she will cross the line”

  1. Also, I understand that La Croix is not defunct, but Erin if you ever wanted to write a post about my joint second-favourite wikipedia list, Defunct Consumer Brands, highlighting the soft drinks section, or not, as you see fit, then this is something I would totally support.

  2. it’s like, when i think of all the lacroix i have wasted. fallen asleep drunk, left in a friend’s car, let sit idle in the sand, getting too warm to drink. we take it all for granted.

  3. You put Dreaming of You in the playlist! It gave me the giggles until I went to my fridge and well…..the last La Croix was gone.


    Now I understand.

  4. I’ve been trying to understand the la croix thing but seeing as I’m a diet coke drinker I’ll probably never get it.

    Maybe it I found a place that sold it in singles I could actually try some.

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