Feature image of Kristen Stewart and Dylan Meyer, who are now engaged, via Dylan Meyer’s Instagram.
After about two years of dating, Kristen Stewart and Dylan Meyer are engaged. Given that KStew said “I love you” to Dylan after just two weeks of dating, their relationship seems to be unfolding in Gay Time, which we all know is like warp speed on Star Trek.
According to E!, Stewart announced the engagement on The Howard Stern Show, which has somehow become the place where she delivers all of her gay love press releases. You may recall Stewart declaring back in 2019—also on Howard Stern’s show—that she was definitely totally ready to marry Dylan. Her exact words were that she couldn’t “fucking wait” to become engaged. “They’ve been dating for five minutes, which is five years in lesbian time,” Riese astutely observed at the time. Again: Gay Time.
Indeed, Stewart has a bold lack of chill when it comes to romance. “I’m really impulsive,” she said in the 2019 interview. “The day that I met her, all bets were off.” That first confession of love early on in the relationship happened at a shitty bar late at night, which is extremely relatable content if you ask me. Here’s your occasional reminder that Kristen Stewart is an Aries sun and a Gemini rising.
Stewart did go on to suggest in 2019 that she would be the one popping the question, even teasing that she had a couple different plans that would be “just the coolest things to do.” But in the end, the roles were reversed. “We’re marrying, we’d totally gonna do it,” Stewart said. “I wanted to be proposed to, so I think I very distinctly carved out what I wanted and she nailed it. We’re marrying, it’s happening.” Wanting to be proposed to but also specifying in detail how you want to be proposed to? I repeat: Aries sun and Gemini rising. Also a Libra moon.
Stewart has kept a steady stream of Tall Girlfriends and various love interests through the years, and Autostraddle first reported on her then-rumored relationship with Meyer, who is a screenwriter, in August 2019. For all we know, they were already picking out rings. I mean, please refer back to above photo of matching outfits (and matching-ish hair, but Laneia rightfully has some questions about the shade of Kristen’s).
Anyway, congratulations to Kristen and Dylan on this gay-time-warp-speed relationship! Romantic comedy adaptation of this real-life love story WHEN.