“I really couldn’t tell you what monoi oil is, but I like to imagine it is suckled from the nipples of woodland nymphs.”
If it’s bright, deeply pigmented and under $10, I’ll usually give it a spin. After searching high and low for quality formulas in current colors, I’ve gathered some of my personal favourite inexpensive lippies. Reap the benefits of my quest.
Hey boi, here’s an array of homemade products and some very necessary queer/hippie extras that keep me feeling so fresh and so clean clean. Let’s be fresh together forever. Xo.
My skin and my sense of humor are very dry. My skin is sensitive, but I am not. I’m half-Jewish, and so is my hair, which means it requires a lot of taming. Also I like eyeliner.
It’s winter. Or as my skin likes to call it, Scaly-Snake-Monster Season. I imagine, of course, that people flee from me as I walk down New York City streets because, right about two weeks ago, I transformed into essentially a giant humanoid alligator.
This is the stuff that makes it possible for me to face another day in the cruel, harsh, unforgiving world.
Coconut oil, a ton of Burt’s Bees, and the best hair oil (for my head) on this earth.
“I may eat dairy and eggs again now, but I’m sticking with these perfect vegan products, suitable for carnivores or vegans or anyone in between.”
About half the year, I’m obsessed with beauty products and rituals and slathering things all over my body in the hopes that they’ll be the latest miracle product to change my life. The other half of the time, I’m the laziest motherfucker around.
Shampoo bars, a life-changing clay mask, and a bunch of things to make your skin shiny and glowing like a spaceship.
Pair with a solemnly regal air and flashing eyes that strike fear into the hearts of men.
My knees look like I’ve been crawling around in the fireplace. My lips are so dry you could peel off a layer and roll a joint in it. I’m itchy as hell y’all, but thankfully, I have an arsenal of products to keep me whet as a whistle.
Sweet-smelling products for the dandy in you.
It’s more likely that an extra 10 mins in the AM will realistically be spent sleeping, if not figuring out what to wear once I roll out of bed. That’s not to say that I don’t have a slew of products that help a lazy Lydia look as though I put in a smidge of effort, even though I probably didn’t.