“E.L. Fudge is strictly for children, as no adult can actually eat them with any dignity or hope for their future.”
Sandwiches, glorious sandwiches! There’s something for everyone on this list — for vegans to meat-lovers!
Cucumbers and cream cheese: You’re into role play. Also maybe corsets.
“So when we grilled these maple-laced caramelized onion Gruyère behemoths on a rainy evening and neither of us lost an eye, I knew she was a keeper.”
And then, the epiphany — again like a sparkly gift from heaven, or maybe one of those sponsor gifts in the Hunger Games because atheism — it came to me: apple sandwich.
“Sometimes women do belong in the kitchen, because that’s where the cucumbers and sundried tomato cream cheese and whole wheat bread are! And we’re fucking hungry.”
“Truffle oil is too far for anything.”
Did you even know there was a National Sandwich Day? There is!
National National National Sandwich Sandwich Sandwich Day Day Day
Things that aren’t animals, between breads!