It’s the season finale of Orange is the New Black, and so much shit is about to go down. Ride with me.
Lots of super serious things happen in this episode where the metaphor of and literal Hurricane Wanda really picks up speed but all I can do is make fun of Portland and be miserable.
The winds start blowing both literally and metaphorically as we lead up the the season finale.
Is it just me or does it seem like this episode has a lot of people smelling other things. Why is everyone smelling everything?
“Journalist dude’s mouth says ‘no problem, let me know if you change your mind’ but his face says ‘I AM VRY DISAPPOINTED IN U PIPER U ARE ACTING LIKE SEASON 1 PIPER RN’.” Caputo makes a cameo with a tiny plant.
It’s Valentine’s Day at Litchfield and Poussey Day in Flashbackland!
While it’s certainly true that one would face numerous logistical difficulties in carrying out murder via poison inside a prison, the rest of the advice in this Orange is the New Black segment is, um, hit or miss.
Shit is going down in the bathroom, y’all.
The Prodigal Daughter of White Trojan Horsery has returned to Litchfield, minus her bespectacled toxic popsicle and plus a newer harder attitude. What adventures await our little vanilla wafer? Time can only tell, inmating ritualists.
We hate to tell you, Dorothy, but you ain’t in Kansas High Security Prison anymore, and Toto’s only looking out for Toto.
I tried to keep this pretty exclusively gay (though I did think about doing a “Larry,” which was just to get the saddest, plainest beer and drink it straight from the can while frowning).
Get me Chinese food, a Red Bull, and way too many blankets, stat!
Poussey and Taystee are destroying everyone at Celebrity and Kate McKinnon can’t stop thinking about cats long enough to enjoy partying with a queer friendly webseries and out athletes.
Check out a sneak peek of the darker second season of “Orange is the New Black” now!
This is the largest portion of Season Two we’ve ever been served, and it is fracking DELICIOUS.
The cast of “Orange is the New Black” was at PaleyFest on friday to give us an inside look on how Season One has changed their lives and what we can look forward to in Season Two.
“Morello is apparently applying for a job as a 1940’s sailor, Leanne is going to be a shoulder pad model and Sophia is just being plain gorgeous.”