It seems contradictory to say I learned how to view my body as my own by sharing it with strangers and friends, but it is a truth that I revel in. What I love and learn about these encounters are the parameters of my body, its strengths, and boundaries, what pleases it.

Talking to survivors and caretakers of the HIV/AIDS epidemic about what we can learn from the past about our present.

It’s literally a social science experiment every day and we don’t have any control. That’s how it is with toddlers, I guess…

No matter what happens, this is a firm truth: You deserve to be seen, affirmed, and loved for exactly who you are.

I want Remi to know that I’m here for her while also cultivating her skills for independence.

On top of how hard it is to be transgender in a cissexist world, it’s also really hard to be a child. It can be hard to have two moms in a heterosexist world. It can be hard to have a transgender mom. Put that all together, and I’m just one giant ball of anxiety who is frequently at a loss for the perfect way to help my child navigate the world.

“What I’m saying is, if you’re sitting in the legislative chamber trying to hear the floor debate and someone’s kid starts crying or yelling “Baby Shark!” please be kind to them.”

I was in high school when I first saw Staceyann Chin perform, barefoot and incensed. She was fearless in her rage, her sexuality, her eloquence. Now, I feel the same reading her as I felt watching all those years ago — as if I’m being granted permission.

“What if I told you the overprocessing was coming from inside the house?”

The reason we’ve made it this far is because of you, and if we’re going to stick around — that will also be because of you.

Topics include Geocities, e-books, the politics of mental health, podcast passivity, Mount Everest’s social climber, The Real Housewives of Atlanta, filming/staging sex scenes and more!

Autostraddle’s giant survey last year showed that queers will make the most of even the tiniest outdoor patches they can get their green-fingered mitts on. It’s time we celebrated the wide open spaces of our rural and suburban queers too, imagining the possibilities for the expanses we inhabit today or dream about tomorrow.

Chosen family, Ali Krieger and Ashlyn Harris, books!!!, flying monkeys, queer immigrants and DACA, sneaky sexism, and so much more! Real fun stuff!

“top 10 things you shouldn’t say to your girlfriend”

“I saw how they reacted to Max and I was like, ‘ohh, I’m gonna transition and I’m gonna be shunned from this community that I’ve longed for for 18 years, I’m gonna lose my community if I transition.'”

I knew we all wanted justice, ease and wellbeing, and that our anger was a manifestation of our love for each other. But I also watched as my own fight or flight response kicked in in group dynamics, as I felt habitually roped into defensive positions that felt out of my control. I couldn’t reconcile this big gap between intention and action, so I knew I needed to withdraw not out of avoidance but out of commitment to my own healing. In retreating to understand my own depletion, I discovered somatic practice.

In my own struggle to get sober, I would spend days telling myself that my bottoms were “not that bad.” That the next day I would drink lighter, drink less, have water between glasses. For black gay addicts, we’re pressured at both ends. One of the reasons I’m sober today is because people around me talked about it, they extended their hands and hearts to me without knowing it.

More than anything, this year, I wish black queer and trans people JOY. Martin Luther King didn’t fight that damn hard for us not to have a quality of life that comes with celebrating our joy and humanity first.

Perhaps my identity oscillates at times but in a world that attempts to force me to choose one side of a binary, I remain firmly in the middle.

I moved to California from Shanghai at fourteen and threw myself into learning how to be an American. It’s a lot like doing drag.