Everyone deals with their impending prosecution for murder by having sex with their high school sweethearts.

Emison I guess?

You want to know what I learned from seven seasons of watching Pretty Little Liars? The best you can hope for as a woman in this world is to make yourself boring and docile and helpless enough that a man will ultimately intervene and save you from interesting women, and also from yourself.

Paige and Emily say goodbye for the last time.

“Play to everyone’s culinary strengths, know your nemeses, and make sure all your guests are familiar with poison-free alternatives to food with poison in them.”

You have 48 hours to vote for your faves to advance to the Sweet 16!

“You can trust someone not to kill you with a knife, but still not trust them with your feelings.”

“Sometimes winning the switch fight meant kind of losing. When you were both switches, though, everybody won no matter the outcome. It all came down to pride and play.”

“If I was accidentally on a date with Gigi, it would be the best day of my life.”

Paige and Emily kiss and twirl and Ali finally realizes she’s pregnant with Emily’s child.

Sometimes you just wanna feel the heat with somebody who loves you.

Which ostensibly straight actresses go “gay for pay” the most? From Natasha Lyonne to Vanessa Morgan, here are some of the most prolific actors in the LGBT cannon.

Riese: I would text Riley and be like “you up?”
Carly: Are you still at the gay bar…? Because?
Riese: I would come back incensed with rage and ready to make a mistake.
Carly: Ready to ruin my relationship.
Riese: Yes. I would be full of the spirit of ruin and ready to share it.
Carly: Which is not Christmas spirit, but it is kind of related.

Paige and Ali and Emily are caught in a decade-old love triangle that’s still got teeth.

Alison and Emily and Paige still have no idea how to close a door or whisper.

Emily and Aria strongarm Sydney Driscoll while Hanna operates on a life-size doll wearing her face.

Willam: They said, “Mia, go get a piece of the stage, and just really gnaw at it. No, chew harder, honey. You can chew harder. No, this is the last season. We don’t even need these sets anymore. Chew it up, baby. Chew it.”
Carly: Yeah, who cares? “Chew it up. Spit it out.”
Willam: And Mia chewed the fuck out of it.

2009, the year The L Word ended and Glee began.

Did Denise Richards cheat on her husband with Brandi Glanville? Are the best liars the ones who are very bad at lying? Let’s delve into the reality TV show where logic and kindness go to die.

We’re still smack dab in the middle of a global crisis. But as summer approaches, you might want to forget our reality and float away with something joyful *and* queer. This list has got you covered.