It’s a weird time, friends and loved ones; we’re all feeling disconnected and scared, and many of you are, too. Many of us are simultaneously hyper-plugged-in – to Twitter, to the news, to Instagram, to seeing that dumb “Imagine” song posted everywhere — and isolated, feeling like the only person alive eating noodles with butter for breakfast at 11 am and panicking a little when you can’t know how everyone else is spending their time because no one has posted an Instagram story for 20 minutes. We’re here to share a little about how we’re spending this time and what rituals, routines and practices are helping us get through this period; share yours with us too?
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I’m like 2 miles at best away from WeHo were the mayor of that city caught the virus. I am also now under a state-mandated stay at home as my business is non-essential. My plan is to just exercise at home, ride my bike solo, play video games with my parents, & call my bff who so far has been stuck in her Detroit home for a week now. I am just thankful for sites like autostraddle, discord, & youtube to keep me distracted. Speaking of which, is there an autostraddle community discord channel? If not maybe there should be one?
I was also wondering that and would be excited to join it if there were!
I was supposed to be in Vegas this week having a super fun break from all the stress that’s been building over the past two months. HA HA
So now I’m working from home, taking patient calls on a laptop at my kitchen counter, trying to reassure them and make sure they’re doing everything they can to protect themselves. My whole team is offsite, using skype and telemed to communicate with each other. After I logged off last night I watched Parks n Recs with my family, spread as far apart in the living room as we could get and still see the tv.
Two days ago we had a decent earthquake, 5.7, no major damage, but really could it just not for a bit?
@snowfell Sending hugs to your den!
Hope that your other stuff worked itself out. xoxo
I‘m here for any and all vegan recipes, btw.!
Thanks @amidola. I’m back in the office today, we have patients that just have to be seen in clinic. I’m sorry I don’t have time to dish out any recipes just now, but I’ll keep you in mind if I get a break!
We had another aftershock last night, and once again, I felt nothing. I am inured to the world falling apart.
I stock the freezer section of a Costco, for us the sudden escalation was last Thursday. Before that there had been panic toilet paper buys, rice, canned roast beef, but we were all still laughing(it’s easy to do when you live and work with an excess of product all covered in comforting bright packaging)
In the past week the world changed every day, shelves emptied, lines formed, every manager and most of the employees in my building got a crash course in crowd management, limits popped up, and I thanked my lucky stars that social anxiety had landed me with a stable morning shift that ended before the chaos and boundaries on my time so solid I haven’t had to work to enforce them now. My roommates parents had come to visit before everything, and it looks like they’re sheltering in place with us, which I’m not sure is better or worse, they help with his WFH boredom, but we struggled to get them to take things seriously and my job makes me a huge liability to them. I’m coping by trying as hard as I can and bringing home food to keep everyone else inside and just, aggressive physical self care. And shitposting, a lot of shitposting.
I hope people are being kind to you. Grocery store staff in Australia have been coping all sorts of abuse over shortages they have no control over. So I hope your customers are being kind and that management is putting in place strategies to support staff and their mental health.
I work at a public library in Missouri, and I was supposed to be in Seattle March 8-15, visiting the city for the first time and attending Emerald City Comic Con. I cancelled the trip the Wednesday before I was supposed to leave (still fighting with Airbnb to try to get the rest of my refund btw) but still took that week off work.
My library system sent out our 3-stage emergency plan on Monday the 9th. I had lunch with a close work friend on Tuesday and we speculated that we might get to Stage 2 of the plan (cancel all public programming, turn the library into quick-service only) within a week or two. We doubted we would get to Stage 3 (close the library). We went to Stage 2 by Thursday. I returned to work at 8am the following Monday, and then we closed at noon.
I feel ludicrously fortunate at the moment. My library took this situation seriously from the get-go, gave anyone who needed it the opportunity to take 2 weeks admin leave prior to closing, and now that we’re officially closed everyone is being paid with administrative leave whatever they were scheduled to work. My job, wages, and healthcare are not in jeopardy. I live alone, which feels like a blessing at the moment. My pantry and freezer are stocked, and I impulse-purchased a new TV and a ukulele. As an admitted penny pincher who struggles to splurge, I’m so glad I was able to indulge in my creature comfort and entertainment.
I’m trying to keep a schedule and a routine, trying to stay connected with friends and family, trying not to worry about my mom, who is mulishly insisting on still working. Every morning I do yoga with a friend, most evenings I watch other friends play games. We’re working on getting Roll20 set up to be able to do some fun one-shots. I take walks, I practice my new ukulele, I read, I cook, I watch hours of Critical Role (no better time to finally tackle campaign 1). I’ve given some money to local food banks, and I’ve been trying to patronize some local businesses as best I can. I’m working on wrapping my head around the reality that this is life for the next month, at least. Probably longer. I’m trying to be grateful for the chance to slow down, rest, build connection and community in new ways.
I work at a public library in New Jersey. We went to Phase 1 (of 4) about 3 days into the closings of schools and concerts and events. Phase 1 was not doing outreach to senior centers and our patrons who are homebound and canceling all programming. We moved to Phase 2 last Wednesday. That is basically more cleaning and then cancelling any holds or over due items. Phase 3 is temporarily closing all branches (in a 21 branch system) for 2 weeks. I just got a text this morning that we are now closed until further notice. So that’s a little scary. That uncertainty. Especially, for me because I just got a full time position last May.
But like you, I know my benefits, pay, and insurance are not in any danger of being cut because of being closed. I feel happy? But guilty at the same time?
Anyway since I am living with my folks, not out as Sarah yet and didn’t have funds to move out on my own yet, this is where I am self isolating for the time. I’m fortunate that there lots of places to walk around my folks’ neighborhood. And people are friendly. I plan to take time to read more, play games, watch movies and shows and just try to not freak over the things I cannot control
I’m currently working from home because capitalism, so I’ve greatly enjoyed attending Zoom meetings dressed in a blazer and sweatpants. Fancy top and casual bottoms. Which may also be my sexual preference. Idk.
Comment award.
Brilliant.
FANCY TOPS AND CASUAL BOTTOMS
I‘d like to secondvthatvcommentvaward nomination!
It’s strangely comforting to read all of these stories, makes me feel less alone in what we are feeling. I just filled in this questionare from my psychologist, asking me if I’m “axious in crowds” or “avoiding public transport”.
In the Netherlands the situation is getting more serious every day. There are 106 deaths already. (We are a small, densely populated country, 17 million people.) Hospitals in the south are almost filled to the max. Bars, restaurants are all closed, schools and daycare are closed, many shops have closed. I expect a lockdown coming soon. Four of my close friends have already been infected, they went skiing in Italy, but all are doing okay now, thankfully. Two of them were quite sick. My best friends father and mother in law are in the ICU, the father is not expected to make it.
I’m scared. Scared for my parents, who are pretty healthy, but still in their late 60s. I’m scared for my uncle whith heart failure. My brother and nephew dropped of some flowers and things at my parents, my mom was so upset she couldn’t (shouldn’t) give them a hug.
Thankfully we have a solid social security system and universal healthcare. No one has to be worried about hospital bills here. The government is putting a lot of extra money towards helping freelancers, entrepreneurs, etc. There are likely people who’ll fall trough the cracks, but it will not be as bad as in the US.
Personally, I was already home with disabllity benefits, so that will stay the same. I do feel guilty however, since I have a medical degree I feel like it is my duty to help. But my depression is not yet gone, plus the ADD and the autism, it’s difficult to take care of myself. All this staying in is not helping. I want to help, be useful, matter. I know I can’t deal with clinical patients at this point, but maybe something at a desk, behind the screens.
Advice on this last part is welcome, I’m not sure how to deal or what to do.
To everyone: stay safe, take care of each other. Sending virtual, germ free hugs your way.
Hey Yasmin, a big part of my job right now is just rescheduling non-urgent appointments. We’re moving as many clinic spots as we can into the end of May and June, knowing those may simply serve as placeholders, but encouraging people who are well to stay isolated. I’m also triaging my patients and enforcing protective protocols for them. Maybe you could do something like that? It’s all phone work, but it takes time and there are so many patients to check on, I’m sure it would be appreciated. Hang in there!
Hi Yasmin,
If you‘d like:
There are online counseling/therapist resources and I meant to google them, possibly make a list, but haven’t gotten around to it,yet.
I know I stumbled across some really good links while googling trauma resources for refugees, but I haven’t been able to find them, again.
But only if that isn’t too triggering, or bad, or anything.
Everyone is talking about ventilators and ICUs but honestly,I’ve had a handful young
and older people coming in who‘ve been clinically depressed and I can’t admit them to a hospital or refer them to a psychiatrist, because we’re shutting down our health care system. So I can only give them pills without ever seeing them again, and it’s harrowing. A lot of them speak English, so that‘d be fine!
Have a good day!
xoxo
I feel weirdly calm, possibly because I’ve been an anxious mess my whole life so now when shit is really hitting the fan, I’ve reached some equilibrium?? Dunno but trying to let myself be calm. My job has disappeared with the tourism and hospitality industry. I have some safety nets but unsure how long I can make it with them. Feeling guilty that I have no resources to share. Very grateful that my partner drove in the day before their city shut down. Enjoying their company and the freedom to spend our time as we please. Cuddling my dog a lot. Trying to write and play the piano everyday.
Thank you all for sharing this. It’s hard to explain but it means a lot. Sending love to you all.
Hey, I just wanted to say I am very grateful for all this real talk about our fears and this new world we’ve found ourselves in. sending lots of warmth and care to everyone.
In a surprising twist of events, I find myself coping better than I expected in this corona-worldgonemad situation. I grew up in a cult with no access to tv, radio, newspapers, censored books etc so I spent a lot of my childhood entertaining myself, playing and communicating with friends and family. Yes obviously being in a cult is not an ideal place to be and the majority of it was terrifying. However, it did teach us a lot of survival skills and I am kind of grateful (never EVER thought I would write these words) for it.
I have many many rituals that I do, most of them cult rituals but also new ones that I learned after I escaped that keep me grounded.
Obviously now that I’ve been fully read into the internet, I am well and fully addicted and wouldn’t cope without it! I spend my time playing music, writing songs, painting, watching movies and speaking to people on the phone. Anything to avoid university work!
It warms my little queer heart that there is so much kindness amongst the panic and I am grateful.
literally one of my biggest anxieties/two am infodumps for the last several years has been a pandemic, specifically inspired by the spanish flu. one of the ways i would talk myself down was to come up with my pandemic plan: what resources do i need? who do i need to check on? what will my finances be like?
in a lot of ways i feel almost vindicated? like for once in my years of existence the mental illness was right! but also this is an objectively terrible situation
it’s extra weird because I work in childcare, and thus there is no working from home. as of right now we’re not only still open but are cautiously starting an elementary school care program up. i think this is a terrible idea and will lead to more exposure risk, but i just work here So i’m at the day to day: feed the kids, read the stories, talk about worms (worms are in right now), clean the poop off the wall. maybe i’ll work monday, maybe not. maybe i’ll get paid again in two weeks, maybe not. maybe the world is crashing in a fiery blaze, maybe not.
We just closed the store I work at for an undefined period of time this afternoon, soooo yeah. Living in the second most expensive city in the world, no family in the same continent and living alone.
On the plus side, since I’m isolated now, that means in a couple weeks time I should finally be able to see my gf again?
As someone else isolating while living alone, I just wanted to say I’m sending good energy your way <3
Also, I'm making a guess that you're in Vancouver? Not sure if this would be helpful, but I found a link to a mutual aid website for Vancouver:
https://coda.io/@awsamuel/vancouver-mutual-aid
@leee this made me teary, both the kind thoughts and reading all the help people are offering to each other. Thank you so much, and take care. Hope you have a good network of virtual and non-virtual support 💜
@snaelle Sending you lots of love! If you want a podcast to keep you company on solitary walks or while cleaning out the pantry, this might be sth. https://www.girlinspacepodcast.com/.
Thank you @amidola ! Sending lots of love back – and lots of lots of good wishes for your health. I’m sure your work is crazy right now – thank you for everything you’re doing and take care <3
I've never really tried podcasts before, but I have the feeling this is the ideal time to try, so thank you!
It’s something to know for a fact I’m not the only one dreading the social and political outcomes of this event.
Watching kids and adults online parroting eco-fascist rhetoric is…concerning.
There’s much more but heh even typing with a touch screen is unpleasant right now because it’s happened I’m having a worse flare up than I’ve had in years.
My throat is fine but my hands are angry sausages and I have to make the choice to suffer thru it or take a corticosteroid and further comprise my immune system.
Universal healthcare is something that could have prevented this situation I’m in, but I’ll likely never know that for sure.
I’m very privileged and fortunate in that I can work from home with no loss of income. I also do very well at home alone, I’m a massive introvert and I’m actually looking forward to time alone. I am concerned about my family though- my grandparents are in their 90s and don’t have the best health. My uncle lives with them as a caregiver, but he is leaving tomorrow to go back to his home in California for three weeks. I’m going to be caring for them in his absence, and while I’m happy to help them out, I’m pretty pissed at my uncle for refusing to cancel his trip. My entire family in general has really sucked at social distancing and as a nurse who knows what’s coming, it’s hard not to be really angry with them. And then my parents are both small business owners that might lose their businesses, which of course is awful. So it’s been an emotional roller coaster, with lots of work stress on top of it.
To help deal with everything, I’ve been spending lots of time in the backyard. I just bought my first house a few months ago, so this is the first time I’ve had a backyard in years. The weather has just started to be nice, so it’s been wonderful to spend some time outside. My cat has been hanging out with me on a blanket in the grass while I work on my laptop and it’s been wonderful.
Riese
I enjoyed your piece
Hang in there, everyone 💘
I am a perpetual lurker, but have such a deep need to reach out that I rebooted this old account that I basically only used once to comment on that post about Ani Difranco and her plantation getaway. I have a lot of feels and fears, is what I’m saying.
My dad was diagnosed with cancer two weeks ago, which was earth-shattering in itself. I’m lucky that the university where i teach has allowed us flexibility in how restructure our classes. I taught a first week of online coursework and feel like I was able to meaningfully engage and support the students. Yesterday my dog and my moved back home for the first time in 15 years to be with family as my dad goes through chemo next month. I spent today reclaiming the my childhood bedroom from the cats, moving boxes and going through old journals and pictures. Strange nostalgia in our brave new world. Also realizing, as quarantine stretches on, how atomized my life had already become as I’ve gone deeper into my ‘30s. I teach about community, and the queer community as a space for collective resilience, but feel very far and fractured from my community. I am worried for my dad and my students for whom sheltering in place at home is not the safest options.
I hope that this will radically change our society to be a better, more interdependent place. I am trying to hold on to the good. Cuddling with my dog helps.
Oof, that sounds like a lot to be navigating. I’m wishing your dad improving health, and wishing you and your family good health all around <3
Wishing you and yours the best! This is already a difficult time, as it is, and now a pandemic on top of all of that. I hope you settle in well, and wishing your dad a successful and well tolerated chemo! xoxo
thank you for posting this, and thank you all for sharing so honestly.
I work in a university’s residences, and it is terrifying. I’m praying and working and doing my best to only process the emotions I need to, but it’s dizzying. We’re basically begging all the residents who CAN move out to move, and everyday feels like an uphill run.
I’m also living apart from my husband as he is going through chemo and we can’t risk me bringing anything home, let alone COVID-19. I’m both very lucky to work somewhere that can house me, but also being apart from my main support system is another layer to an already complex event.
Coping mechanisms – Fantasia on Disney+. Sunsets. Sunrises. Working out. Taking thirst traps. Journalling. Tea.
best wishes to you all. much much love.
I always knew the company I work for was objectively terrible. But I had hoped they might react differently in this instance. I should have known better.
Today, two people in my department were made redundant. The rest of us were ordered to stand down for a month, with the choice to draw down on our vacation days or take leave without pay.
I’m one of the lucky ones with just over a years worth of vacation days. Selfishly, I am sad that after this I will have almost no vacation time. When everything has calmed down, I won’t have the option to take a joyful holiday to a cute country or beachside town that needs support after our devastating bushfire season. I am grateful that I will receive full pay this month, but I worked so fucking hard for those vacation days, and to see them drained in this way…vacation is supposed to be refreshing, not horrible and sad and anxiety inducing.
Similarly successful companies in my industry are letting their staff work from home, or shuttering temporarily and still paying their employees for the next month.
I like the routine of working, of going into the office each day, weekends allocated for laundry and grocery shopping and meal prepping. I was already on a downward mental slope, after a truly shitty month at work, and then the anxiety from corona and inaction that both my government and company have taken until now. But the routine of life has kept me going as it usually does. Without that, I worry for my mental and emotional health.
Sad woe is me tale over. Sending love and light to all in the AS community. Stay home, stay safe xx
I’m trying to get through a shitty birthday, and I’m always suicidal around now anyway! Hurrah for covid and not being able to use any coping strategies as a result!!
@malingo all the birthday love as care to you – I’m sorry you’re having a tough time, but please know you’re cared about and that we’re here for you online, even if we can’t be in person. If you would like to chat, I’m around!
What would be your ideal birthday cake? Would it be a cake??
Thank you all for struggling through whatever distancing measures are possible in your space. It is officially appreciated.
We’re freaking out about what happens if/when distancing is inadequate, and PPE shortages occur. This has led to interesting scavenging throughout the house for elastic, nebulizer masks (and… did you know… albuterol inhalers are kinda tough to get?), and filter options.
I’m very tired. I feel like I ought to be useful but as a self-employed person, I’m not networked into an organization that knows my skills. I also live with someone at high risk of bringing it home to me, so the general “go pack boxes for the food pantry” idea may also be irresponsible. Even though they need hands.
And I’m struggling with the messaging for stratifying the risk for myself. Apparently, if I were in the UK, I would be under self-isolation for 12 weeks starting very soon. How many lines I checked off on their list was a little unnerving. But here, there isn’t even consensus as to whether I am really high risk or not. So, bah. (We are stay at home but whether I should arrange for grocery delivery versus go myself…)
I also rebooted a very old account (haven’t used it in maybe… six years?) to comment.