7 Hot Queers and Their Go-To First Date Outfits

The best advice for a first date is always to be yourself; obviously you’re also interested in being the hottest, most unforgettable version of yourself. A good first date outfit does both: shows your date something about who you are and how you move through the world, and also that you are very hot. Some of the social markers of queer culture can also be a factor – do you want to show off that you’re femme? Hint that you’re ready to top? Somehow express that you aren’t a tenderqueer but are emotionally literate? It’s a lot to process. Here are 7 true-life queer hotties who have helpfully showed you what they like to wear on first dates and why.

Archie Bongiovanni, Cartoonist

Archie poses with their partner, Gus, for the camera; Archie is wearing an open-front leotard with the hem of a Rodeoh harness showing beneath; their nipples are covered with black tape and a metal chain with an o-ring is around their neck. Gus is wearing black denim shorts and an open denim jacket, also with black tape covering their nipples and many tattoos visible.

I do NOT have a first date outfit. Most of my “first dates” are actually just meeting someone at a queer dance night of some sort and involve me wearing mesh, an unbuttoned shirt, a harness or something similar. So here’s me and my boyfriend last year at Pride. Singlet from Mr. S Leather, Rodeoh underwear worn to cover up my pubes haha.

Drew Burnett Gregory, Senior Editor

A full-length mirror selfie of Drew, a thin white woman with shoulder-length dark curly hair, wearing a dark crop top, black leather jacket, black skinny jeans and boots

Tight pants, Docs, and leather jacket are all obvious hot things that align with my gender and sexuality. But I really love this top because it’s a crop top (hot) and sleeveless (hot) but also subtle enough that under the leather jacket it looks casual. Then I take the jacket off and it’s like oh I actual am showing a lot of skin. But because it’s a hoodie it still feels sort of casual? But the material is nice so it feels like I’m putting in effort? I’m an anxious person and actually have thought A LOT about first date outfits. Shocking.

Heather Hogan, Senior Writer + Editor

An up-close photo of Heather seated, peering at the camera from between two beer bottles on a table; she's wearing a blue flannel shirt and glasses.

This is the outfit I wore on my first date with Stacy in January 2011. It’s a plaid shirt on top of a ringer-tee with jeans and Chuck Taylors. I like it because it’s gay and comfortable. I still dress like this basically every time we go out together. Stacy dresses like this too. Our pact is to just never leave the house wearing the same plaid flannel.

Kamala Puligandla, Former Editor-in-Chief

A photo of Kamala, a brown person wearing glasses with a mohawk, seated from the waist up. She's wearing a dark sweatshirt with a watermelon print pattern and a green patterned collared shirt peeking out, and has her hands clasped in front of her as she sticks out her tongue, which is stained blue.

I like to wear fun patterns with cute details and get the colors kinda flowing throughout my outfit, so it’s together but still playful. This crewneck was a gift from my sister from Paul Smith, which is an awesome place for nice sweatshirts.

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya, Managing Editor

A full length mirror selfie of Kayla, a thin brown person with her hair up in a ponytail; she's wearing a black sweatshirt with a series of gold necklaces & chains, a pair of slightly baggy black pants, and boots

I don’t necessarily have a go-to first date outfit BUT this is the outfit I wore for my first date with my current partner, which was at the lobby bar in the NYC Ace Hotel. I call these my David Rose pants, and they’re from ASOS’s Collusion line, which the shirt is also from. I’m also wearing my floral canvas Docs. I do wonder if my now-girlfriend thought it was weird that I showed up wearing… so much fabric… since we basically started talking because I always had my tits out on Instagram… lol. But for whatever reason, I always felt super confident in this outfit!

Shelli Nicole, Culture Editor

A photo from the hips up of Shelli, a Black woman with long waist-length hair and long red nails; she's wearing a scarf as a headband, cropped tank top, nameplate necklace and tight black jeans.

Boobs out because they are spectacular.
Big Hair because I love what it adds to my body shape.
Tight Jeans (or skirt) to show off what you want your hands on.
Name plate so you can properly spell my name when you’re texting your group chat after our date to tell them who you are in love with.

Vanessa Friedman, Community Editor

A collage of 3 photos of Vanessa, a fat white woman with long dark hair; in the far left she's wearing a tight dark pink velvet dress with a black cage bra visible; in the center closeup selfie she's wearing a low-cut red crushed velvet dress, and in the far right is wearing a short-sleeved black velvet dress with a sheer skirt.

I don’t have one exact first date outfit, but I do have a first date outfit vibe: velvet. I think the goal of a “first date outfit” is something that makes you feel very confident and very much yourself, and nothing makes me feel more confident and like myself than wearing a sexy velvet dress. I have a few options that I cycle through for first dates – a pink tight v-neck dress, a flirty maroon dress, and a simple black dress. They are all velvet, they all make my tits look great, and they’ve all spent some time on the bedroom floors of the people I’ve gone on first dates with while wearing them, which to me is a sign of success! I got the pink and maroon dresses from Forever 21+ and the black dress from ModCloth. Oh, and if I’m feeling brave or spontaneous or extra flirty, I like to wear my pink leather collar, just so my date knows what’s up right away. The collar is made by Switch Leather, a queer-owned operation based in Portland, and I love it and strongly recommend all their products.

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  1. aaaah back in the day I put so much thought into my first date outfits and now I never do and I want to rectify this immediately.

    I used to consistently wear a pair of overalls (gay) with some kind of mesh/lace top situation (hot). And always finished off with my Dr Marten boots. Ooh and hoop earrings (gold).

  2. First date, second date, night out…I always pretty much wear Heather’s outfit—maybe trade the ringer tee for an AS tshirt. My favorite part is that my outfit stays the same no matter how dressed up or dressed down my partner gets.

  3. I don’t have a ton of clothes and JUST NOW figured out what sexy is for me and my human body. This means I get to wear my most recent first date outfit whenever I want my partner to ogle me in public and get all bashful, which is often.

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