Around 4:20 a.m. on May 26, an armed gunman pulled up beside us and opened fire on our vehicle… the bullet shattered my phone, took out a chunk of my left wrist, and knocked out a dozen of my teeth.

Welcome to the season finale of “Faking It,” in which a lot of things happen that I can’t really talk about, you’ll just have to read the recap.

HAY, GIRL OR OTHERWISE IDENTIFIED HUMANS! It’s Friday, which means it’s time for you to both make a desire map and share your entire life history with me in this open thread. Get in here!

We walk through the valley in the shadow of A-Camp.

Elicia Sanchez is a stand-up comedian living and joking in Seattle though this week she has temporarily relocated to Angelus Oaks as part of the talent line-up for A-Camp.

Oh my god it’s the Glee season finale!! Did anything happen? I mean… kinda.

Felix describes Cosima and Delphine as “locked in a transgressive lesbian geek spiral bound to end in tears.” Little does he know he just described every lesbian relationship ever in the history of womankind.

Things I never knew anyone wanted, and am not convinced that anyone should have.

Join in the A-Camp fun with these awesome, customizable pendant necklaces!

See, swirl, sniff and sip!

But let’s not blame technology.

Do you know which former Disney child star wrote the lyric, “If the light is off then it isn’t on”?

Myself, I’ve had barrel-aged Negronis, Manhattans and Boulevardiers, but I’ve never made one until right now. My favorite of those I tasted is a Manhattan, so for my first foray into barrel-aging, that’s what we’re going to go with.

Felix says they need an idea to trap Donnie, and Alison tells him what every college student already knows: drinking leads to ideas.

“Dr. Leekie wants Cosima working for them, and Delphine assures him she’s on it. He tells her to be careful playing for the other team, which is a pretty solid gay/double agent joke.”

An over-the-shoulder-comment-award-holder.

This is an OPEN THREAD for you to talk about anything and everything. Come on in, the water’s non-existent.

5. A Diva Cup And An Understanding Of How To Use It.

I’m starting to realize I’m not a connoisseur of anything so much as just a total fucking weirdo.

After some extensive research (i.e. drinking), I’ve come to the conclusion that these are the bourbon whiskies that give you the best bang for your buck. All are under $30 and none are Bulleit, Jack Daniels, or Makers Mark.