Part of vampire-human sex is biting. Just like FYI.

We asked you to tell us what you want to see on The L Word’s new reality spinoff — here’s your answers, from sippy cups to Betty to crack in the writer’s meetings … !

Evangelical Christians, televangelists and other conservative religious leaders have been convicted of rape, sexual misconduct, sexual abuse, sexual harassment, rape as an accomplice, polygamy, infidelity, solicitation of male and female prostitutes, incest, sexual conduct with minors, taking indecent liberties with young boys and … stealing a sex toy from a woman’s home. Yet the ball’s still in their court. Why is that?

We lock ourselves up with a bunch of documentaries about religion and homosexuality, including For the Bible Tells Me So, Deliver Us From Evil, Tying the Knot, Religulous and Trembling Before G-d.

Obama, we give up with you! Mia Kirshner wants you to come to her book party. Cherin Dabis interviewed in NY Mag, Katy Perry knows Lady Gaga is starting something, New York Times Magazine interviews Hillary Clinton, the Save Bryce campaign faces challenges and Time Travel Thursday!

We are looking for work as a Senior Champion for Sexual Orientation or within Kathy Griffin’s New Gay Activist Campaign for Oscars & Equal Rights.

Our photoblogger Robin and her girlfriend Carlytron, aka the cutest couple ever, travel to Gorges Ithaca and a wedding in the Berkshires provide some helpful hints for traveling with your lesbian lover.

“Happy Monday, my beauties! Its me, Robin, your resident photoblogger, here to enchant you with a delightful gaze into some iconic imagery of our lesbionic history.”

Methodology: For GLAAD’s third annual report, we divided our analysis of reports into two sections (network & cable) and found neither section provided statistics that specifically addressed lesbian, gay and transgender characters as independent groups, therefore requiring us to read every word to get some info about the ladies. We suspect this decision was made because lumping gays, lesbians, transpeople and bisexuals together makes it less depressing.

“Apparently I am suffering from GBICT, or Gay Blog Induced Carpal Tunnel. In an effort to relax, I turned on the teevee. I saw this terrible thing on True Life: I Hate my Small Boobs. So I had to look it up and see what the fuck was up with that girl’s Mom”

Your real stories and tweets about when you knew you wanted to kiss other girls.

Riese tells one of many versions of her story, Laneia tells the whole truth and nothing but the truth. The latter is the most important thing we’ve ever published on Autostraddle.

“It took me a very long time to come to terms with what I felt for girls. Not because of my own religion, but because of the religion and judgment of others, and because growing up in such a small town greatly limits what you see as viable options for yourself.”

Haviland Stillwell, who you may know from the world-famous Haviland & Riese Vlogs, or perhaps from Broadway’s Les Miserables and/or Fiddler on the Roof, will be performing her one-woman spectacular of audio-visual singtastic delights, “West Coast Debutante” in Los Angeles at the Upright Cabaret on April 23rd. Because Haviland is both an international rising superstar and my BFF, I was able to sit down with her cyber-coastally and have a little AIM Chat about her big show, lauded on the website as: “a sassy night ranging from Kurt Weill to Madonna, from upbeat to out of control and beyond. Come see this versatile, charming and adorable “tight little ball of spunk, bad ass, and class.” Who doesn’t like tight little things? That’s right, we all love tight little things. Here goes!

This is the true story of seven team members and twelve interns picked to sleep on the floor and have their lives photographed, cartooned, tweeted, blogged, facebooked and autostraddled. Find out what happens when lesbians [and interns who claim to not be lesbians] stop being polite and start getting real queer!

We’re totally fascinated with everything Amanda Palmer writes, sings, says, thinks or Twitters, so obvs we sent a spy to see her co-production “With The Needle That Sings In Her Heart” performed by the Lexington High School Drama Club.

Green & Riese Read Lesbian YA Novels! Clandestine lesbian affairs! Secrets! Shame! Love! High School! That Girl You Loved — She Loves You Back!

Team Autostraddle continues to read your mind and discuss the most important gay issues ever.

But we fell in love with these characters in 2004 not because they self-mutilated or had fancy jobs on movie sets or had stalker/assistants or appeared on billboards; we loved them because they reminded us of us … just hotter, and living in West Hollywood. It was like our lives but burning a little brighter, and sexier, and richer … like most teevee shows are.

Max would like to do an internet search for you and Jenny wants to wear doilies and scream about merkins. Can we talk about how cute Alice is as Ira Glass?