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Relevant To Your Interests: Some (Spoiler-Free) Star Wars Merch For You and Your Favorite Porg

Yes. I’ve seen Star Wars: The Last Jedi. My friend Laura (who you might remember from the zillion times I’ve mentioned her on this website) got me a ticket for Christmas and we saw it at one in the goddamn morning the day it came out and we did not get back until four-thirty in the morning and even though I am a very old person masquerading as an almost-thirty-person it was WORTH IT. And I will not spoil one single thing for you. But I will show you all the very coolest Star Wars things I’ve found on the internet.


The Light Side

A Woman’s Place Is In The Resistance Shirt, $24+. R2 Measuring Cup Set, $12.99. BB-8 Purse, $65.99. Star Wars Terrarium, $69.99+.


The Dark Side

Kylo Ren Lion King Mug, $13.99+. Darth Vader Fair Isle Dress Socks, $16.99. Sphero BB-9E, $142.99. Empire Self-Stirring Mug, $6.99. You guys, I just realized how many coffee-related items are on this list I even cut an R2D2 French Press that’s how many coffee items I AM SO SO TIRED I AM CRYING IT WAS WORTH IT.


Neither Side

Galaxy Necklace, $29.99. Porg Backpack, $28.99. Cat Wars 2018 Calendar, $10.99. Episode 4, 5 and 6 Minimal Posters, $13.77+.

CAN I SLEEP NOW? I SHALL DREAM OF PORGS.

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A.E. Osworth is part-time Faculty at The New School, where they teach undergraduates the art of digital storytelling. Their novel, We Are Watching Eliza Bright, about a game developer dealing with harassment (and narrated collectively by a fictional subreddit), is forthcoming from Grand Central Publishing (April 2021) and is available for pre-order now. They have an eight-year freelancing career and you can find their work on Autostraddle (where they used to be the Geekery Editor), Guernica, Quartz, Electric Lit, Paper Darts, Mashable, and drDoctor, among others.

A.E. has written 543 articles for us.

15 Comments

  1. But also good work finding that backpack. It’s the only Porg merch I’ve seen that was actually cute. I looked up the stuffed animal immediately after the film and couldn’t believe that Disney went to so much effort to set up a good merch sell and then made weird looking merch.

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