Quiz: Are You My Mommi?

It’s Mother’s Day, one of my favorite holidays, because it means I get to see y’all’s HOT MOMS all over social media. Truly, this is the Superbowl for MILF and mommi appreciators. So to celebrate today, I’ve devised a quiz inspired by my all-time favorite internet quiz, Clickhole’s If I Ordered Fries, Would You Have Any? But this is, like, the gayer, version of that absurdity. So, answer a series of questions to find the answer to a very important question: Are You My Mommi? And if you’re seeking a mommi of your own, revisit the Who’s Your Mommi quiz that I similarly wrote from a place of extreme unwellness.

What do you have the most opinions about?(Required)
You’re sitting in the sun with a cold drink in hand — what is it?(Required)
What’s your favorite season, fashion-wise?(Required)
What sounds the most annoying to you?(Required)
What would you like to have a closet full of?(Required)
Pick a top:(Required)
Are you easily disappointed?(Required)
Where are you taking this quiz right now?(Required)
Choose a cheese:(Required)
How busy are you?(Required)
How would you describe this quiz?(Required)

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Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya is the managing editor of Autostraddle and a lesbian writer of essays, fiction, and pop culture criticism living in Orlando. She is the former managing editor of TriQuarterly, and her short stories appear in McSweeney's Quarterly Concern, Joyland, Catapult, The Offing, The Rumpus, Cake Zine, and more. Some of her pop culture writing can be found at The A.V. Club, Vulture, The Cut, and others. When she is not writing, editing, or reading, she is probably playing tennis. You can follow her on Twitter or Instagram and learn more about her work on her website.

Kayla has written 1069 articles for us.

20 Comments

  1. out of pure curiosity: did anyone answered 4th question other than “straight people”?

      • true. actually I was choosing between dogs and straight people but then I remembered the saying (which we have here) that loud dogs don’t bite, whereas straight people here…

    • I put answered straight people. I went to my first concert since the pandemic started and my goodness. They would not stop grabbing each other. Gtfo.

  3. “No, you’re not my mommi. Perhaps this doesn’t mean you have no mommi energy to speak of, but it’s just not where you’re at today.”

    • Same! I like the idea of being a mommi/daddy switch – I think I have some of both of those energies, she replied bisexually.

      • Exactly – it was not a concept I had before but I feel so seen as a mommi/daddy switch

  7. Kayla, inquiring minds want to know if there will ever be the promised “Whose Your Daddy” quiz

  8. What does it say about me that I’m this disappointed about getting a “no” when it comes to mommi energy?

  9. “No, you’re not my mommi. Perhaps this doesn’t mean you have no mommi energy to speak of, but it’s just not where you’re at today.”

    Accurate :)

    • Daddy here. But I always tell my cat “Be safe. Mommy luvs you” when I let him outside. OK, into straight people/MAGA zone,LOL!

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