Welcome to NSFW Sunday! Let’s get you out of those pants.
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+ Sometimes public nudity is all it takes to be comfortable with being naked. In Marie Claire, Fernanda Moore writes about her first experiences nude in public, and body acceptance:
“She moved slowly toward her boyfriend, who was lying on a blanket. As she walked, water ran down the curves of her body; when she realized her boyfriend was watching, she struck a pose. She was confident and gorgeous, and she was, by conventional beauty standards, at least 75 pounds overweight.
I imagined this woman shopping for a bathing suit, frustrated by what society insists are body flaws, trying to find a suit that flattered her magnificent, uncelebrated form. Fact is, such a suit doesn’t exist: The fashions we aspire to wear flatter no one but the perfectly toned. And the majesty of this woman’s body would be rendered absurd if she stuffed herself into a brightly colored suit. She looked like a Renaissance goddess — to cover her up would be like spray-painting over a work of art. I suddenly felt silly about how much I worry about what I look like in bed — cellulite, muffin top, small breasts — and I realized that here, on the naked beach, the only thing I wanted to change were my tan lines, which immediately marked me as an amateur.”
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+ In a review of Catherine Hakim’s Honey Money: The Power of Erotic Capital, Abigail Ross-Jackson argues that:
“On modern-day, Western feminism Hakim really hits the nail on the head when she says that ‘Feminist theory often erects a false dichotomy: either a woman is valued for her human capital (her brains, education, work experience and dedication to her career) or she is valued for her erotic capital (her beauty, elegant figure, dress style, grace and charm). Women are not encouraged to do both.’
Indeed, modern-day feminists tend to be incredibly squeamish about the idea that women can be quite comfortable using their feminine wiles to get ahead while at the same time remaining fully aware that they are not defined solely by this aspect of themselves.”
Ross-Jackson also says that while a large part of the book is taken up by less-than-stellar arguments about “erotic capital,” which seems to consist of a variety of factors summed up by the opinion the male gaze might have of them, Hakim also makes several interesting, if not novel, arguments about sex work: specifically, that prohibiting it makes as much sense as Prohibition, and that viewing all sex workers as victims is not productive.
+ In Scarlet Road: A Sex Worker’s Journey, director Catherine Scott follows three years in the life of Rachel Wotton, a sex worker who has disabled clients almost exclusively. It also looks at the experiences of two of her clients: John, who was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, and Mark, who has cerebral palsy. According to Scott:
“People with disability are not seen as sexual beings and on the other hand sex workers are often portrayed as oversexed, victims or damaged goods. I really wanted to tackle these stereotypes head on. It was a delicate balance. I wanted to show the touch and intimacy, without objectifying Rachel or her clients and reveal the sexual tenderness without titillating or shocking the audience.”
An interview with Scott, and the trailer, are available on SBS.
+ Lady Gaga will be very naked in January’s issue of Vanity Fair.
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+ Katrien Jacobs’ People’s Pornography: Sex and Surveillance is a look at the results of a two-year study on online hookups and porn in Hong Kong and China. Jacobs, who was a media professor at a university in China, conducted her study by joining Adult Friend Finder. According to Amazon:
“Since its establishment in 1949, the People’s Republic of China has upheld a nationwide ban on pornography, imposing harsh punishments on those caught purchasing, producing, or distributing materials deemed a violation of public morality. A provocative contribution to Chinese media studies by a well-known international media researcher, People’s Pornography offers a wide-ranging overview of the political controversies surrounding the ban, as well as a fascinating glimpse into the many distinct media subcultures that have gained widespread popularity on the Chinese Internet as a result. Rounding out this exploration of the many new tendencies in digital citizenship, pornography, and activist media cultures in the greater China region are thought-provoking interviews with individuals involved.
A timely contribution to the existing literature on sexuality, Chinese media, and Internet culture, People’s Pornography provides a unique angle on the robust voices involved in the debate over about pornography’s globalization.”
+ Travelling with some sex toys is OK. Travelling with a car full of them will get you a three-hour search:
“The four custom guys stifled giggles as they spent the next half hour pulling my car apart looking for… for what, semi-automatic weapons disguised as Rabbit Pearl vibrators? Cocaine-injected dildos?
When they were satisfied I didn’t in fact have a trunk full of illegal French ticklers or whatever it was they were looking for, they sent me on my way.”
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+ It is OK to be a feminist and watch whatever kind of porn you like:
“It’s no surprise that a feminist like yourself would use “demeaning smut” as an escape — in fact, it’s exactly the sort of sexual cliché that one should expect. That’s right, I just called your deepest, darkest, most embarrassing fantasies cliché – but this means you’re not alone: The majority of us find an erotic charge in the forbidden. Not only is porn generally a lightning rod for controversy in feminism, but you’ve fixated on a genre that graphically represents the very concerns that the movement devotes itself to: exploitation, degradation, objectification — and so many other troubling “–ations.” There’s more friction, more heat there for you than for someone who thinks that sexual inequality is no big thing.”
For excellent queer porn that won’t upset your sense of feminism, check out the Crash Pad series, which I can’t recommend enough. Also they have lots of previews!
+ Melissa Ferrick’s “Drive” sounds exactly like lesbian sex, and if you didn’t hear it in the I Kissed a Gay Girl and I Loved It playlist, you need to listen to it immediately:
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as a MAAB woman, being happy with ones body and actually comfortable with any sort of nudity has been a hard struggle. I’ve been working to understand myself and my body for most of my life and it’s only been recently since I finally started just letting go of all the bullshit society has fed me, and I can finally, honestly say that I love my body and all it’s flaws. It has it’s share of scars, far too many to count, but that doesn’t diminish it’s value it only makes it more unique.
And being alone in the house most days, it’s nice to be able to do chores au naturale and not feel that I have to conform to anyone else’s standards.
YOU GO GIRLFRIEND. Seriously.
also, how awesome is it to do chores in the buff? Or just sit around? I am pro-nudity and anti-pants. Pants suck.
Doing chores naked is great, but playing piano naked is even better. And it makes me feel like Amanda Palmer.
The point is, I would spend a lot more time naked if I didn’t live in Minnesota.
I loveeeeee AFP! And I love Minnesota. Summer in Minnesota is the best naked time.
I love anything that makes me feel like Amanda Palmer!!! She is a goddess!!!
(I practically had an orgasm when I saw her performing Science Fiction/Double Feature on Craig Ferguson!!!)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DI6zIqVxmmk&feature=player_embedded
Hey, I live in Vermont (20 min from the canadian border) so it may not be quite as cold as Minnesota, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cold!!!
Awwwww, thanks!!!*hugs* :3
it’s been a long journey from the nerdy, overweight boy who hated her body to the proud girl who’s learning how to strut her stuff!!!
I love being able to roll out of bed, stroll downstairs and go about my day without having to give a shit about putting on clothes!
I’m pants-less right now! After a long day, who needs pants, seriously.
And I shall be joining you in pantslessness very soon!!!
I’m officially pantless!!! hangin’ out watching Bones re-runs in my awesome blue undies and my “love>fear” tee from Outright Vermont!!!
http://outrightvt.org/wordpress/swag/
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NO PANTS PARTY
it’s not Sunday anymore but I’m everything-less.
Agreed, pants suck big time. Though personally I am more of a shirtless kind of girl.
At my undergraduate institution, we used to hold naked potlucks (both single-sex and co-ed). Before I went there I wasn’t comfortable being naked at all; now I love it and am very comfortable with being naked in public. Naked potlucks were awesome because they gave you something to focus on besides your nudity (the food). Single-sex naked potlucks were good beginners for people (both male and female were held) and the all-female ones tended to generate really interesting conversations about media production of female body images and how we felt about our own bodies. Co-ed naked potlucks yield some of that, but tend to be more like regular parties – just naked. Either way, I definitely recommend trying them out!
i think some high school kid should write a college admission essay about how she really wants to go to college so she can attend naked potlucks.
…I feel like you definitely went to my college. Naked everything all the time.
I would be interested in naked potlucks except for the bit where I am clumsy with an unfortunate tendency to get food in my lap. Ouch.
Yeah, I’d have to stick to the salads.
The recorded version of “Drive” is great but you really have to see her do it live. Really.
I’d love to see her for real, but this song is still pretty wonderful :) My fave Melissa Ferrick is still “Everything I Need.”
Sometimes grammar leads to laughs: “. . . Rachel Wotton, a sex worker who has disabled clients almost exclusively” – WHAT DOES SHE DO TO THEM?!!!!!!
I read that the exact same way until my third time lol
Hence why safewords are important, kids.
Probably the same stuff she would do WITH able-bodied clients. I don’t do sex TO anyone and I gather Ms. Wolton doesn’t, either. And by guessing, I mean I’m pretty sure. WINK!
Anyway, there are about a billion things to do during sex and lots of ways to adapt to everyone’s bodies and desires! Lots of sex toy stores have sections for furniture and other devices to aid in getting sexy.
http://comeasyouare.ca/default/index.cfm/shop/sex-toys/sex-machines-and-furniture/
Oh, nooooooooooow I get it. I’m a dick. This is not the obnoxious anti-ableism feminist you’re looking for. Move along, move along…
(to clarify, I do oppose ableism. I also oppose obnoxiousness. These two things are unrelated.)
I can’t even stand to be naked around myself. I am intensely jealous of anyone who is comfortable being nude in front of people. I am a never-nude
Just find any way that can you start with small steps to becoming comfortable. I’ve spent most of my life hating my XY body and I took it out on myself by letting myself go and not giving a crap for most of my 19 years, but I finally realized that I’m beautiful regardless of my body and it’s issues.
I’m the same way. Hate it, can’t do it. I also can’t stand mirrors. I only have one; it’s over the sink in my bathroom and it’s small enough that it only comes down to about mid-torso. It’s really weird how much better my mental image of myself is until I actually, y’know, see myself. Like, I think I look kind of okay until I somehow come across a full length mirror or (worst of all) have to get naked for a shower or something. Then I feel super gross.
And public nudity like the author suggested in that piece? Yeah, not happening. It has the opposite effect on me. The more time I spend naked and especially the more time I spend naked around other people, the worse I feel and the more disgusting I find myself.
In conclusion: I’m kind of fucked up and I’m going to go take a nap.
I totally relate to that… :-S I do feel very confident and like myself, until I actually see myself. This is crazy, since I have no standards for the others whatsoever and find any kind of people sexy and any kind of woman body truly attractive, providing the person (i.e. her personality) is interesting enough. All of this doesn’t make any sense, how come I escape my own very open mind when it comes to physical beauty and attraction? I don’t get it, but I’m gonna keep working on it, and it sure helps to know that others were strong enough to do it themselves. :-) Helps also that my sweet love feels so good with me naked and that she never made a big deal out of the few times I amazingly forgot I was naked and going about my day while she was there. So, Raksha, I guess there is hope after all! :-)
Just got an awesome sparkly genital piercing and I want to show everyone I run into around town but that would be illegal! Pro public nudity as of today.
ooh, what was that piercing experience like, if you don’t mind my asking? i am interested.
One of the best things that happened to me was during my freshman year of college. Prior to that I had always thought I was fat, ugly, etc, basically lots of self-hate going on. Then one day I stood naked by myself in front of a full-length mirror for the first time ever, and i realized I was awesome. My body was awesome, and fck the flaws because they’re awesome too.
That’s the spirit!!! We’re all beautiful regardless of what society says!!! My many scars aren’t flaws, they’re a unique roadmap of my life and they just make me one of a kind!
Keep your head high, you’re f**kin’ gorgeous!!! *hugs* <3 :3