NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday is Getting Digital, Physical

Welcome to NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday!!

+ Skype sex is a lot weirder than regular sex. So vocalizing everything, remembering boundaries with screen shots, being an exhibitionist, talking dirty, and being tender/having fun are all important:

“I like my body. I like the way it looks, but I mostly like it for the pleasure it brings me. It’s taken me a long time and a lot of work to feel that way about myself, and I’m lucky that I finally do. It makes me especially happy that my partner’s happy looking at me. It’s likely that your partner already finds you attractive and wants to look at you. Otherwise, why are they wasting their time and your time? If you can’t find confidence in any other aspect of Skype sex, find confidence in that.”

via pinktacolovers.tumblr.com

+ Sexting: it happens and is not linked to non-sexting behaviour. According to a recent study of 18 to 34 year olds:

“While sexting—sending explicit messages or images by phone—is very common, it isn’t associated with sexually risky behaviors or with psychological problems.

The findings contradict the public perception of sexting, which is often portrayed in the media and elsewhere as unsavory, deviant, or even criminal behavior, says Jose Bauermeister, an assistant professor at the School of Public Health and co-principal investigator of the study.”

via blackerotica.tumblr.com

+ Rachel Rabbit White explores “Love in the Time of G-Chat” as a way of looking at what happens to the digital ephemera that surrounds relationships.

“Chat histories are our modern cache of paled love letters. Because sometimes I think about how g-chat nearly archives all of our relationships and I almost cry. This mostly happens when I am drunk and hanging out on tumblr and about to start my period — but still.

While my teenaged AIM chat logs are lost in the ether of the internet, kids-these-days will forever have emoticon-laced pieces of their soul thanks to g-chat. (Or am I just seeing things through a rose tinted monitor?)”

via femmethings.tumblr.com

+ Gizmodo has a guide to dealing with digital relationship leftovers (spoiler alert: throw some things out but not all things). Keep photos (not on your hard drive), toss playlists and mix tapes, archive emails, delete texts, and scrap Facebook tags:

“It’s difficult, but you need to discern what baggage is going to be useful even after all the heavy, horrible, hurtful emotions wear off. What are the bytes that’ll have significance on their own, without the love connection? What stuff will remind you about your life in some broader sense than a relationship that occupied some months or years of it? What’ll be that GIF or TXT you wish to hell you hadn’t erased, because who knows what it might’ve reminded you of about the way you used to be?

Those things deserve backup. The rest was just noise all along.”

via femmethings.tumblr.com

+ We’ve written before about Google’s search policies, and it turns out that in addition to not really liking the word “lesbian,” it doesn’t like the word “bisexual” much either:

“If you type in gay, lesbian or transgender into a Google search box, Google Instant Search begins to auto-complete the search while making relevant suggestions. However when you begin to type in bisexual, there are no suggestions provided which lead many to believe there are no search results. Since 2010, Google has blocked the word bisexual from its auto complete and Instant Search features so users have to go an extra step to see the million of results related to bi people, bisexuality, bi community, bisexual resources and bi organizations. In 2010, Google Help Desk said that “the block” which included the words lesbian and bisexual was “a bug” and would be fixed. After two years, the word lesbian has been unblocked but bisexual still remains on the list of words Google doesn’t want you to find.

As we discussed in the Google Instant post two years ago, apparently Google, despite being capable of completely redefining how we use the internet and communicate with each other, is somehow totally unable to make their search engines capable of doing something wild like — oh, I dunno — not giving you porn results unless you type the word “porn” after the word “bisexual” or “lesbian”? This really can’t be that hard. (We shouldn’t need to “safe search,” which cuts out sites like this one, in order to get results that aren’t straight-up porn.)

via butchlife.tumblr.com

+ 7 out of 10 people have sex during extreme weather.

via lasmujeresrealestienencurvas.tumblr.com

+ Phthalates, chemicals found soft plastic packaging, cosmetics, and certain types of sex toys, have been known to be problematic for a few years. Now, a new study shows a link between high levels of phthalates and a higher risk for diabetes. If you still own jelly sex toys, toss that shit immediately:

“The study, published Friday in the journal Environmental Health Perspectives, examined data from a government study of 2,350 women ages 20 to 80 and found that those with the highest levels of certain types of phthalates in their urine had up to twice the likelihood of having diabetes compared with those with the lowest.”

via sapphoria.tumblr.com

+ It’s possible to orgasm using your mind alone:

“A few months ago I experienced the strangest most awesome thing. I came to the brink of triggering an orgasm with just my mind alone. Meaning, I had no physical stimulation in play! It happened when I was in corpse pose (‘resting pose’) after finishing a yoga session. I remember that I was very relaxed and breathing deeply through my nose.

Soon I felt a tingly feeling travel to my lower pelvic region. It feels like a sort of energy. I know this has to sound loopy, but it’s true! I would inhale, retain the breath for a few seconds, exhale, and the tingly feeling would increase. This feeling started to spread all over my body in jolts. It got to the point where my arms and legs would twitch and tense up. And as it got more intense, the tingly feeling moved from my pelvic muscles to right under the skin. I was literally on the brink. Heart was pounding. But then the phone rang and ruined my moment.

It’s gotten to the point now where I can achieve this state by just thinking that ‘I want an orgasm’ and by focusing my body awareness toward my pelvic area. I guess I’m just in tune with my body/mind connection? I blame yoga. Hahaha!”

by photographer Maxim Vakhovskiy

+ The best way to fight lesbian bed death is to set aside time for sex:

“At first I was overwhelmed, and a little depressed, about how many of my lesbian clients and friends were rarely — if ever — having sex with their partners. But when I started doing research on this subject, I found reason to hope. There’s some evidence that a minority (maybe 20 percent) of long-term lesbian partners sustain sexual intimacy after 10 or 20 or more years together. Through surveys and interviews, I’m finding the secret of their success.

I expected this secret to be deep, or profound, or rooted in rich experiences, or at least complicated. This was not the case. Instead, I learned this: Sexually active women set aside time for sex. They put it on their calendars. In a word, they schedule.”

via sapphoria.tumblr.com

Disclaimer: All of the photographs on NSFW Sundays are taken from various tumblrs and do not belong to us. All are linked and credited to the best of our abilities in hopes of attracting more traffic to the tumblrs and photographers who have blessed us with this imagery. The inclusion of a photograph here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If there is a photo included here that belongs to you and you want it removed, please email our tech director at cee [at] autostraddle dot com and it will be removed promptly, no questions asked.

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Carolyn Yates was the NSFW Editor (2013–2018) and Literary Editor for Autostraddle.com, with bylines in Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Bitch, Xtra!, Jezebel, and elsewhere. They live in Los Angeles and also on twitter and instagram.

Carolyn has written 1091 articles for us.

20 Comments

    • Well, lesbian sex takes time. You both have to come, right? There’s some effort involved. It happens. Sex might seem like the most important thing in the whole world when you’re single, but there’s a lot of every day living that comes with a long term partner, and your happiest, most fulfilled times don’t have to actually come from sex. It’s still great, but it might not be something you *need* to have it every night.

      Side note- why do we need someone calculating our sex lives in comparison to the sex lives of straight people or gay men, to see if it measures up? Why are we the anomaly and they are the norm? If someone is happy having sex 1-2x a week, who cares? Are lesbians the one saying that this is a problem? Is it specific people inside a longterm relationship, is it negatively affecting your partner? That’s an issue then, but collectively I don’t see why we need to freak out about it.

      I feel liken this sounds like were totally sexless, not the case at all, but we do make sex a priority- yeah, sometimes you have to pencil that shit in.

      • Actually, my girlfriend and I take turns in the whole making each other come aspect of sex. One night it’ll be my turn and the next time it’ll be hers. It works really well because once one of us is actually satisfied we don’t even want to move, let alone do the work required to satisfy the other.

        This of course makes me wonder what the answer to the “how often do you come when you have sex” question. Technically the answer would be 50%, but it’s certainly not an accurate representation of effort and result.

        • Yeah, exactly. It makes me wonder how they are actually defining sex.

          The answer to your question is…it works for you guys, yay! You have a happy sex life, I don’t think that need to be quantified in percentages.

  1. That 2nd picture is one of the most stunning photos I’ve seen in a long time. I can’t stop staring at it, and not even in a pervy way.
    (If anyone’s interested, I found the photographer – Gregory Prescott)

  2. I recently deleted every single Gchat ever with my ex…it’s been a year and I found myself still pulling them out and reading over them and feeling sorry for myself. I think the way the internet preserves memories like that can be really harmful…it can help you live in a past that doesn’t exist. Thank god for bulk deleting though :p The modern equivalent to throwing the love letters into a bonfire, I guess..

    • If there was one thing I’d love more than anything its if the internet/technology world worked on like a 2 year cut off. Like everything you post deletes itself unless you tell it not to. Sometimes I feel so trapped by it all. With letters you can be all symbolic and burn it, stuff on a phone or computer? It just sits there waiting for you to come drag it out of the recycle bin.

  3. I can vouch for scheduling sex. It works. And is necessary. 17yrs is a long time to be w/ one person and kids+jobs+life just get in the way…so scheduling sex makes it happen and then makes you want more because, well, sex begets sex…

    • “…so, I think we should make an appointment on Saturday, February 1st, 2014 at 11:34 AM sharp. Don’t be late and if you fail to make your appointment, please call 24 hours in advance or you will be charged a $15.00 late fee. If you continue to be perpetually late, the “office staff” aka my vagina will have to terminate you from its ‘practice,’ wherein you will have to seek a different alternative to your late night scheduling rendezvous, thank you, ‘The VAGnament…’ ” LOL! ;)

  4. i would probably keep mixes (they’re zips, i never listen to them as actual playlists that are supposed to be romantic or sexy) and delete photos. shortly before facebook switched to the timeline layout, i decided to clean up my profile a bit and looking at photos of myself with my ex was kind of scary tbh because i thought i deleted them promptly after the break up. then i had nightmares about still being with said ex. yeah okay my hair might have been cuter back then and my skin was more clear but i don’t really miss that version of myself and don’t want to look at her.

  5. So I made the decision just a couple weeks ago to finally let someone go. I’ve been basically hanging on to nothing and I had over 300 emails, mixes, pics, text messages from god knows what month, so I deleted everything in a spur of anger. I still texted her and just a reminder of everything throughout all my devices was not helping. You can’t hang on to nothing for years do I decided deleting everything would be best:) I’m actually feeling better and I don’t dwell or text her. This past days especially I realized how much happier I’m feeling and how sometimes it takes deleting everything and basically disconnecting from that point in your life in order to be happy again.:)

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