NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Is Fisting A Watermelon

Feature image of victoriia.r.ose via rodeoh.

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Welcome to NSFW Sunday!

+ At Fusion, Luna Malbroux writes about being a young black woman getting into BDSM and learning it’s okay that not everyone has the same kinks:

“Regardless of their environment, people of color constantly have to navigate stereotypes, discrimination and personal prejudices, and BDSM is no exception. Just being a young, black woman who owns her sexuality yields enough social stigma as it is. Throw in a desire to explore BDSM in a culture where freely enjoying sex is already taboo, and that is quite the mountain to climb.”

Courtney McCullough Photo by Darion Ko, Los Angeles  via nervous fingers

Courtney McCullough, Photo by Darion Ko, Los Angeles via nervous fingers

+ Have you ever wanted a Nine Inch Nails cover that explores queer safer sex? Have you ever wanted to see someone fist a watermelon? Your time is now. Lady Sings It Better, Claude, and queer health organization ACON have done just that. Notes director Maeve Marsden:

“Working with Claude on our video was a chance to see what might transpire if we combined Lady Sings it Better’s particular style of comedy cabaret with a message about women’s sexual health. Our work tends to focus on exposing misogyny in pop culture, but creating ‘Closer’ was all about a positive celebration of women’s sexuality, sexual health, humour and desire. Rather than approaching sex ed literally we wanted to find a playful way to open a discussion about safe sex and gloves. Perhaps we should’ve added a disclaimer so people know it’s not an instructional video… Fisting a watermelon is very different from fisting a woman. Women don’t dissolve.”

+ Running Porn Studies, the first peer-reviewed academic journal about porn (which we’ve covered before), involves a lot of defending why it’s okay to run Porn Studies. Says cofounder Clarissa Smith:

“[Smith] says she’s most concerned about making sure the next generation doesn’t feel the same sense of shame over their sexual desires as the older people she’s interviewed in her research. ‘In the research that Feona and I did, one of the key things that comes through when you talk to older people about their engagements with porn [is that] people say, ‘I just wish someone had had a proper conversation with me about sex. I just wish I hadn’t felt so much shame about looking and finding bodies attractive and going looking for it. It’s taken me a long time to understand what I like sexually.’ Why do we want another generation coming up afraid of their bodies and ashamed of their desires?'”

+ At Oh Joy Sex Toy, Erika Moen discussed The Sex Myth, under which “sex acts are seen as being powerful and people are using them to label and judge each other” (which we’ve also discussed).

+ Here are some sex positions to try later.

+ This story is about proposed condom laws and basically how easy it is to dox porn performers under them, but one take away is: protective measures that take away privacy aren’t protective at all.

+ You can deal with herpes.

+ Orgasm denial: fun for everyone! (If you’re into it.) Note that while it sounds sort of kinky, and while it is really fun inside a power dynamic, it’s not inherently kinky (as much as anything is/isn’t) and you can try it in a vanilla situation or alone:

“Orgasm denial isn’t straight up abstinence from everything sexy all the time. In most cases, it has a sexual component, usually in the form of anticipation, that is carefully controlled. One of the more common styles of orgasm denial for couples allows one partner to have control while the other submits and follows their rules. Just like in any other type of power exchange relationship, limits and desires are negotiated ahead of time and the submissive consents to the parameters of the dominant’s control.

There are two basic types of orgasm denial: total denial and tease and denial. Each can be done on either a long-term or short-term basis.”

+ From the Autostraddle Lesbian Sex Archives: Can you be in love with someone you’ve only known online? (No.):

You thoroughly know only one element of them: how they interact with YOU, one-on-one. That’s it! Maybe you know a bit about their internet activities or they’ve told you things about their IRLives but that is so, so, so, so different than actaully witnessing their life. (This “not real love yet” situation I’m discussing w/r/t online relationships applies to many IRL relationships which begin in tiny bubbles as well, like camp girlfriends or someone in another relationship with whom you can only cavort in private.)

It takes many months sometimes to really understand a person and subsequently understand if you can co-exist in a happy, mutually beneficial, world.

Flora Kim via hourglassandclass

Flora Kim via hourglassandclass

Carolyn Yates is the NSFW Consultant, and was formerly the NSFW Editor (2013–2018) and Literary Editor, for Autostraddle.com. Her writing has appeared in Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Bitch, Xtra!, Jezebel, and elsewhere. She recently moved to Los Angeles from Montreal. Find her on twitter.

Carolyn has written 908 articles for us.

8 Comments

  1. Cover image tells me outdoor fucking starts today, bring your favorite lay
    Maybe I’ll see you in flagrante delicto with grass below you, sky above.
    But alas it is March not May and probably too cold for rest of the world.

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